Lock Me!

21 Pages
« First
←
8
9
10
11
12
→
Last »

You cannot start a new topic
This topic is locked

Lock Me! Please.

#226 Avatara

Guardian

Group: Moderators
Posts: 12,036
Joined: 05-July 00
Gender:Male

Posted 03 December 2004 - 12:11 PM

Somehow, things happened, which led to more things, and before he knew it, Bob was sleeping with his mother.

"Sometimes I get confused whether I'm posting on ATT or in the War Room. But then I remind myself: If it's moderators acting scatter-brained and foolish, then it's the War Room*.

*Unless it's Avatara, of course."
-- From the memoirs of Sundered Angel

#227 Mackilroy

Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,751
Joined: 09-November 04
Gender:Male
Location:Location: Location

Posted 03 December 2004 - 12:31 PM

All of the sudden, Bob's mother popped, and Bob discovered what he thought had been his mother was in fact an inflata-mom. Crestfallen, he threw himself into space, and watched as Earth was devoured by cow aliens.

At last he came to a door, with these words in glowing emeralds: THE END OF THE WORLD. He did not hesitate. He opened the door and stepped through.

#228 moonunit4eva

Dommy

Group: Members
Posts: 8,728
Joined: 15-March 03
Gender:Female
Location:The Pursuit

Posted 03 December 2004 - 07:52 PM

The aliens then turned into KILLER TOMATOES!

*sings* Attack of the killer tomatoes...attack of the killer tomatoes! *stops*

Whatever happens..happens.

#229 Rickton

Organ Donor

Group: Members
Posts: 9,738
Joined: 04-April 01
Gender:Male
Location:Jawjuh

Posted 04 December 2004 - 05:32 PM

The tomatoes were put on pizza and eaten. Mmm, pizza.

Currently making Possession 2, a game where you play as a ghost and possess your enemies.

#230 Pufer

Deadpan Orator

Group: Members
Posts: 13,878
Joined: 03-August 02
Gender:Male
Location:DC

Posted 05 December 2004 - 12:58 AM

Bob pondered this for a while, but his thoughts quickly turned to where he could find a parka as space turned out to be rather chilly.

-Pufer

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha

#231 Avatara

Guardian

Group: Moderators
Posts: 12,036
Joined: 05-July 00
Gender:Male

Posted 05 December 2004 - 03:59 PM

Bob was never a fan of chili.

#232 Rickton

Organ Donor

Group: Members
Posts: 9,738
Joined: 04-April 01
Gender:Male
Location:Jawjuh

Posted 05 December 2004 - 04:30 PM

But it was Mmm-mm Good™ brand chili.

Currently making Possession 2, a game where you play as a ghost and possess your enemies.

#233 Pufer

Deadpan Orator

Group: Members
Posts: 13,878
Joined: 03-August 02
Gender:Male
Location:DC

Posted 06 December 2004 - 01:00 AM

Marking that last exchange up to the nitrogen bubbles rapidly forming in his brain, Bob put on his best hat, grabbed his towel, and set off to find a spacecraft in the expanse of the open universe. Unfortunately, his attempts to actually do anything quickly proved to be worthless as he had no means of propelling himself in any particular direction, even had a spacecraft made itself apperant in his general vicinity.

-Pufer

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha

#234 Avatara

Guardian

Group: Moderators
Posts: 12,036
Joined: 05-July 00
Gender:Male

Posted 06 December 2004 - 02:08 AM

Fortunately, an alien couple on their honeymoon happened to be cruising by. Spotting Bob, the alien decided to score bonus points with his wife and swerved into our toweled hero.

#235 Azeroth

Artist

Group: Members
Posts: 1,912
Joined: 03-February 03

Posted 06 December 2004 - 09:20 AM

Bob turned, saw the alien coming, and drew his "gun".

Tempting a sleeping giant with a pin isn't the same as hurling a whale at an irritated giant. -Avatara
"Hey, I'm not the one who wanted Gay Sex to become a moderator." -Avatara
"I find that unaccountably disturbing."-Sundered Angel
</sig>

#236 Pufer

Deadpan Orator

Group: Members
Posts: 13,878
Joined: 03-August 02
Gender:Male
Location:DC

Posted 06 December 2004 - 11:47 AM

The alien wife yelped in horror at the sight of the towel-less Bob and called the Galactic AAA to come get rid of the horrid little creature now stuck to the grille of their new Galactdillac space car. And thus Bob was saved by a large alien tossing him in the back of a Galactic AAA tow truck and heading for home base.

-Pufer

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha

#237 Avatara

Guardian

Group: Moderators
Posts: 12,036
Joined: 05-July 00
Gender:Male

Posted 06 December 2004 - 11:59 AM

But Bob wasn't ready to reach home base, he just felt too uncomfortable with the whole idea of losing something special.

#238 Mackilroy

Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,751
Joined: 09-November 04
Gender:Male
Location:Location: Location

Posted 06 December 2004 - 01:10 PM

Nice reference to HGTTG, Pufer.

Anyway, the alien's wife, once she realized that Bob was quite attractive without a towel on, seduced him. So Bob found himself in bed with yet another woman.

This post has been edited by Mackilroy: 06 December 2004 - 01:12 PM

At last he came to a door, with these words in glowing emeralds: THE END OF THE WORLD. He did not hesitate. He opened the door and stepped through.

#239 Pufer

Deadpan Orator

Group: Members
Posts: 13,878
Joined: 03-August 02
Gender:Male
Location:DC

Posted 07 December 2004 - 12:47 AM

Accepting, of course, that the creature he was currently copulating with could be defined as a "woman" (especially as the closest thing to a female in "her" species is better referred to as a Hamavagliiska).

-Pufer

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha

#240 Rickton

Organ Donor

Group: Members
Posts: 9,738
Joined: 04-April 01
Gender:Male
Location:Jawjuh

Posted 07 December 2004 - 05:30 PM

And all in all it just didn't work. At all. Bob nearly lost his genitalia that day.

Currently making Possession 2, a game where you play as a ghost and possess your enemies.

#241 Pufer

Deadpan Orator

Group: Members
Posts: 13,878
Joined: 03-August 02
Gender:Male
Location:DC

Posted 08 December 2004 - 12:58 AM

When a heavily bandaged Bob was thrown out of "her" house shortly afterwards, he set off on a trek to explore the new, alien planet upon which he found himself.

-Pufer

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha

#242 Avatara

Guardian

Group: Moderators
Posts: 12,036
Joined: 05-July 00
Gender:Male

Posted 08 December 2004 - 02:06 AM

But everything just looked the same, and Bob found himself walking around in circles. This was bad, because he ended up walking circles around "her" house, and she took that as a completely different sign.

#243 Pufer

Deadpan Orator

Group: Members
Posts: 13,878
Joined: 03-August 02
Gender:Male
Location:DC

Posted 08 December 2004 - 11:15 AM

After applying even more bandages to himself, Bob hopped a space cab and told the driver to bring him to the nearest intergalactic train station. Bob, of course, didn't have any idea if such a thing actually existed, but he figured he'd give it a try.

-Pufer

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha

#244 Mackilroy

Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,751
Joined: 09-November 04
Gender:Male
Location:Location: Location

Posted 09 December 2004 - 01:34 PM

The taxi driver took him to the Deep Core, where he was summarily flushed out of the cargo bay into a black hole. The taxi driver last saw Bob waving a flyer that said...

At last he came to a door, with these words in glowing emeralds: THE END OF THE WORLD. He did not hesitate. He opened the door and stepped through.

#245 Avatara

Guardian

Group: Moderators
Posts: 12,036
Joined: 05-July 00
Gender:Male

Posted 09 December 2004 - 03:23 PM

..."buy a 12" pizza and get a second one toppingless for free!" Unfortunately, the driver couldn't read, so he pulled out...

#246 Rickton

Organ Donor

Group: Members
Posts: 9,738
Joined: 04-April 01
Gender:Male
Location:Jawjuh

Posted 09 December 2004 - 05:20 PM

his huge, throbbing w...allet that was filled with money and waved it in Bob's face.

Currently making Possession 2, a game where you play as a ghost and possess your enemies.

#247 Pufer

Deadpan Orator

Group: Members
Posts: 13,878
Joined: 03-August 02
Gender:Male
Location:DC

Posted 10 December 2004 - 12:49 AM

Bob quickly forgot about the wallet as he fell deeper and deeper into the black hole. Eventually he managed to run into Copernicus who happened to be trying to sell a anti-black hole cloak which Bob promptly purchased.

-Pufer

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha

#248 Mackilroy

Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,751
Joined: 09-November 04
Gender:Male
Location:Location: Location

Posted 10 December 2004 - 03:26 PM

But it turned out that Copernicus' anti-black hole cloak did nothing to keep him from being pulled into the black hole, so Bob screamed, "Banzai!" as he raced towards the event horizon at thousands of miles per hour.

At last he came to a door, with these words in glowing emeralds: THE END OF THE WORLD. He did not hesitate. He opened the door and stepped through.

#249 Rickton

Organ Donor

Group: Members
Posts: 9,738
Joined: 04-April 01
Gender:Male
Location:Jawjuh

Posted 10 December 2004 - 09:33 PM

Due to this massive hole in the space-time continuum, Bob managed to grab a passing lawyer from 1965 and sue Copernicus before he was born.

Currently making Possession 2, a game where you play as a ghost and possess your enemies.

#250 Avatara

Guardian

Group: Moderators
Posts: 12,036
Joined: 05-July 00
Gender:Male

Posted 10 December 2004 - 10:45 PM

Bob was thus able to win a multi-billion dollar settlement, a ranch in Canada, and a lifetime supply of Cheez-Its, yet did nothing to alter the current situation.