The Tavern at the End of the Universe

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The Tavern at the End of the Universe Have fun guys, while I sneak off and join the B&B cult!

#101 Selax

Lord Rapierian of the Sith

Group: Moderators
Posts: 3,026
Joined: 21-July 04
Gender:Male

Posted 15 March 2007 - 04:15 PM

*OoC*
I hope that I am not spoiling anyone else's ideas, just giving the Tavern something new to contend with.
*BiC*

At that moment, an alarm blared throughout the city: Spammers and trolls have been sighted heading for the main gate. All Cytherans assemble at once to trounce these transgressors. Intelligence reports some may have already entered the Graveyard.

This post has been edited by Selax: 15 March 2007 - 04:16 PM

Long Live Cythera! Long Live the Cythera Web Board!

I now run a TS Character Killing Service.

Selax

#102 CrazyChick

Rawr: Ethanol

Group: Members
Posts: 1,901
Joined: 07-October 06
Gender:Female
Location:A little country you've probably never heard of...

Posted 16 March 2007 - 12:16 AM

*OoC* Nice idea, Selax. Edited to make it fit better with your post, Jehezekel. *BiC*
"Oh no! We have to save the spammers!" Crazy cried. "We can't leave them with Nummy!"
She turned and ran back towards the graveyard, not bothering to check who was following.

This post has been edited by CrazyChick: 16 March 2007 - 03:12 PM

And the winner of the text only entry goes to CrazyChick for "Watch for B&B on bridge." Encountering the B&B anywhere is dangerous enough. Throwing a bridge into the recipe is an equation for disaster. - Ragashingo

#103 Jehezekel

Butterfly Dragon

Group: Members
Posts: 998
Joined: 02-April 05
Gender:Not Telling
Location:Færy

Posted 16 March 2007 - 09:14 AM

Jehezekel sprang to his feet, and instantly fell back down in a heap. He pulled himself slowly to his feet, and grinned, "Nothing quite so fun as blood-loss! Well, we'd better go rescue those Spammers!"

Off Jehezekel ran, and soon caught up with CC in those twisty corridors. Selax' traps were still active, a teletubby was standing in the corridor. Jehezekel dived over its left shoulder, as if it was nothing more than a lost recliner, and it vanished in an oily miasma. Jehezekel went slower after that, sucking in air like a vacuum, but he managed to keep up with CC and the others.

They burst through the doors of the Graveyard, and lurched to a sudden halt. The Spammers were white with terror, and some had even swooned. Nummy walked among them like a goddess of madness, decorating them with ribbons, and exclaiming about how cute they were.

This post has been edited by Jehezekel: 16 March 2007 - 09:18 AM

My Cythera Boards characters:
Silverfish: 1.52ft/46.3cm Tall
Mitsos/Pirro: Canonically statted
Don't forget to write Cythera Chronicles!

#104 Selax

Lord Rapierian of the Sith

Group: Moderators
Posts: 3,026
Joined: 21-July 04
Gender:Male

Posted 16 March 2007 - 04:07 PM

"CHARGE!" a voice yelled from their right. "Remember! Helping Spammers is an offense punishable by death!"

Cache, Katerei, Selax, and a few other members charged out of hiding. They rushed into the mass of Spammers and began slaughtering them. Within less than a minute, they were all destroyed. The Cytherans charged on to the gate, where they prepared their defenses and attacked the Spammers already trying to enter.

When they were done with these, they waited. If the enemy came in force, there could be a real battle...

This post has been edited by Selax: 16 March 2007 - 04:10 PM

Long Live Cythera! Long Live the Cythera Web Board!

I now run a TS Character Killing Service.

Selax

#105 BreadWorldMercy453

Minion #453

Group: Members
Posts: 1,634
Joined: 02-October 05
Gender:Not Telling

Posted 16 March 2007 - 08:31 PM

453 cried bitterly over the fate of the spammers.

I'll become even more undignified than this

#106 cache22

Lord of the Chrons

Group: Members
Posts: 1,255
Joined: 05-September 01
Gender:Male
Location:The Land of the Long White Cloud

Posted 16 March 2007 - 09:01 PM

cache started tinkering with a control box near the gate.

Notwithstanding Nummy's apparent symapthy over the fate of his compatriots, one of the remaining spammers (with the word 'Lagos' emblazoned across his shirt) dashed through the gate in an attempt to inveigle her into sending her bank accounts to Nigeria. A ghostly black figure faded into view behind him, stabbed him ruthlessly in the back, then faded away again.

"SpamAssassin," cache exlained to the bemused group.

"The e-mail of the specious is deadlier than their mail" - Tom Holt, 'Snow White and the Seven Samurai'

#107 CrazyChick

Rawr: Ethanol

Group: Members
Posts: 1,901
Joined: 07-October 06
Gender:Female
Location:A little country you've probably never heard of...

Posted 17 March 2007 - 04:53 AM

Crazy made it her business to check the deadly array of conker cannons just over the main gate. As the conkers weren't quite ripe yet, the missiles would be twice as deadly. Many were still in their spiky cases, and these she handled with extreme care. One bump too many, and everyone within ten metres would be as good as dead. No-one recovered from a direct hit with conker shrapnel.

#108 Selax

Lord Rapierian of the Sith

Group: Moderators
Posts: 3,026
Joined: 21-July 04
Gender:Male

Posted 21 March 2007 - 08:27 PM

The spammers and troll soon arrived in force. It looked as if there would be a massive battle...

This post has been edited by Selax: 21 March 2007 - 08:27 PM

Long Live Cythera! Long Live the Cythera Web Board!

I now run a TS Character Killing Service.

Selax

#109 TMBassassin

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 599
Joined: 02-May 02
Gender:Male
Location:wherever my bed is.

Posted 23 March 2007 - 12:49 PM

Kamille lazily picked himself up off the floor, flicked his cigarette away and light another.
trolls were boring, to be sure, no fun to fight,
but the spammers, oohh the spammers, by god they were annoying.
his eyes shone as his robes fluttered and he took his battou-stance, drawing both swords with lightning speed and cutting the arms off a nearby spammer. tying his sheaths to his back with the extra-long sageos, giving him a little back support, he dove into the fray.

Kamille Bio
man:"well, you must be stupider than you look!"
Homer: "....stupider like a FOX!"

#110 Ragnar0k

Empat

Group: Members
Posts: 1,378
Joined: 02-June 06
Gender:Male
Location:Necren

Posted 23 March 2007 - 03:36 PM

{OOC: Click the word BONK! To enjoy the fight music as you read ^^ (if the music doesn't start within 5 seconds refresh the page you were linked to)}

BONK!

Another Spammer fell as an obsidian wiffle bat thwacked upside his head. With a smooth flowing motion Ragnar0k spun around to bring up his guard just before a Troll attacked him with a Pointy-Stick-Of-Ignorance +5. The darkly clothed figure danced backwards, weaving a blinding defense with one hand and a warm blanket with the other.

The Troll stumbled upon a fallen Spammer, and in a blur of onyx wrath Ragnar0k beat him mercilessly with his dual weapons. His crimson blanket finished he tied it around his shoulders and made a flowing cape, then planted a steel toed boot on the back of the unconscious Troll and roared his battle cry to the heavens, “SPOON!!!”

This fight had only just begun!

This post has been edited by Ragnar0k: 23 March 2007 - 03:43 PM

"The Jim maneuver!"
- Jason Peck, R.I.P
"You know what? That milk was good. I don't care if that horse was on steroids."
- Melo, after drinking a glass of Nesquick.
A message for Gray Shirt Ninja: RAAAAAAARRRGGH!

#111 Selax

Lord Rapierian of the Sith

Group: Moderators
Posts: 3,026
Joined: 21-July 04
Gender:Male

Posted 24 March 2007 - 02:21 AM

Selax pulled out his flaming (much in the manner of Tyrael's sword in D2) rapier, mounted his High Horse of Smiting (credit to Katerei and her irc diagram), and rode into the battle, slashing and smiting trolls and spammers. (Actually, smiting worked much like his character Rapierian's "shadow" spell.)

He cackled evilly as he and the others pressed their attack...

Long Live Cythera! Long Live the Cythera Web Board!

I now run a TS Character Killing Service.

Selax

#112 Jehezekel

Butterfly Dragon

Group: Members
Posts: 998
Joined: 02-April 05
Gender:Not Telling
Location:Færy

Posted 24 March 2007 - 06:11 AM

Jehezekel watched in horror as Selax started a flame-war with the invaders. He raised his shield of invisibility, and hid behind it.

My Cythera Boards characters:
Silverfish: 1.52ft/46.3cm Tall
Mitsos/Pirro: Canonically statted
Don't forget to write Cythera Chronicles!

#113 Selax

Lord Rapierian of the Sith

Group: Moderators
Posts: 3,026
Joined: 21-July 04
Gender:Male

Posted 24 March 2007 - 10:48 AM

*OoC*
Actually, Jehezekel, this battle is not supposed to represent a flame war. It's just supposed to be something for fun.
*BiC*

Selax slashed through another spammer and rode over another troll. He came up alongside Ragnar0k and the two made rapid progress through their foes...

Long Live Cythera! Long Live the Cythera Web Board!

I now run a TS Character Killing Service.

Selax

#114 Jehezekel

Butterfly Dragon

Group: Members
Posts: 998
Joined: 02-April 05
Gender:Not Telling
Location:Færy

Posted 24 March 2007 - 11:20 AM

OoC: Quote: "Selax pulled out his flaming ... rapier" /Quote: Emphasis added BiC:

After a few minutes Jehezekel came out of hiding, and started dumping buckets of ice water on the attackers.

My Cythera Boards characters:
Silverfish: 1.52ft/46.3cm Tall
Mitsos/Pirro: Canonically statted
Don't forget to write Cythera Chronicles!

#115 Selax

Lord Rapierian of the Sith

Group: Moderators
Posts: 3,026
Joined: 21-July 04
Gender:Male

Posted 24 March 2007 - 12:04 PM

*OoC*
That is not intended to refer to a flame war. All that means is the blade is burning.
*BiC*

The enemies were falling in droves now. The Cytherans, encouraged by their success, pushed even harder.

Long Live Cythera! Long Live the Cythera Web Board!

I now run a TS Character Killing Service.

Selax

#116 Avatara

Guardian

Group: Moderators
Posts: 12,036
Joined: 05-July 00
Gender:Male

Posted 24 March 2007 - 01:19 PM

Just when it seemed the valiant defenders would win, Avatara showed up to take Selax into custody for violating the forum guidelines by trying to start a flame war.

"Sometimes I get confused whether I'm posting on ATT or in the War Room. But then I remind myself: If it's moderators acting scatter-brained and foolish, then it's the War Room*.

*Unless it's Avatara, of course."
-- From the memoirs of Sundered Angel

#117 Selax

Lord Rapierian of the Sith

Group: Moderators
Posts: 3,026
Joined: 21-July 04
Gender:Male

Posted 24 March 2007 - 02:28 PM

Selax pointed out to Avatara that it actually Jehezekel who attempted to start a flame war by spreading slanderous rumors about Selax. (To himself, he also wondered why Avatara didn't destroy the trolls and spammers, since that too was part of his job as moderator.

)

Long Live Cythera! Long Live the Cythera Web Board!

I now run a TS Character Killing Service.

Selax

#118 TMBassassin

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 599
Joined: 02-May 02
Gender:Male
Location:wherever my bed is.

Posted 24 March 2007 - 11:24 PM

[OoC:] after the fight's declared over, can we have a food-fight-esque thing except we throw the body parts at eachother? that would be baller. [BiC]

Kamille sheathed his short sword with one hand and kept fighting with the long sword in the other. with the empty hand be reached for his jug, and guzzled a few fl. oz. of choco-milk, before closing the jug yet again. he switched his sword to his left hand and with the right reached into his robe for a cigarette, which he light off of the remaining traces of selax's work.
drawing his short sword again, this time holding it in his right hand, he beset his enemy, with a cry of "37!"

Kamille Bio
man:"well, you must be stupider than you look!"
Homer: "....stupider like a FOX!"

#119 CrazyChick

Rawr: Ethanol

Group: Members
Posts: 1,901
Joined: 07-October 06
Gender:Female
Location:A little country you've probably never heard of...

Posted 25 March 2007 - 05:02 AM

Crazy saw the fight going on down below, and fired the cannons. Unfortunately, her aim was bad, and the missiles shot over the spammers to land too far behind to inflict serious damage.
Yelling her famous warcry, she leapt off the tower and gently floated down.
"Igloo igloo peanut butter, peanut butter igloo! Alalalalalalal!"
At the mere mention of the dreaded words, many of the spammers flinched/screamed/fainted.
Landing near a troll, she delicately threw it, silently thanking her sensei for the extra training in the weekends.

#120 Jehezekel

Butterfly Dragon

Group: Members
Posts: 998
Joined: 02-April 05
Gender:Not Telling
Location:Færy

Posted 25 March 2007 - 05:40 AM

Jehezekel soon ran out of ice water, and had to retreat for a moment, to think of another attack. And evil grin spread across his face as he pulled two metallic objects from his belt. His spoons glinted menacingly in the battle twilight, as he posed for effect. With a fey laughter, and a cry of "SPLEEN!", he hurtled into the fray.

My Cythera Boards characters:
Silverfish: 1.52ft/46.3cm Tall
Mitsos/Pirro: Canonically statted
Don't forget to write Cythera Chronicles!

#121 cache22

Lord of the Chrons

Group: Members
Posts: 1,255
Joined: 05-September 01
Gender:Male
Location:The Land of the Long White Cloud

Posted 25 March 2007 - 05:54 AM

cache, standing by the control box, observed the state of the battle closely. The Cytherans, aided by the SpamAssassins, were doing a creditable job, but were still coming up a little short. He chewed his lip in indecision. There was another weapon in his asenal, but it had certain... drawbacks. However, the Cytherans needed all the help they could get. With a shrug and a sigh, he flipped a switch.

A squad of men in trim, blue uniforms and strange hats materialised. They began running after the spammers, grabbing them by their collars, and tossing them into a steel-barred cage.

One of the men suddenly veered about and went after Selax. He pulled him off his horse and arm-wrestled him to the ground. "You're nicked!" the man declared.

"Sorry," cache called out. "The SpamCops aren't 100% foolproof - they sometimes focus on the wrong target!"

"The e-mail of the specious is deadlier than their mail" - Tom Holt, 'Snow White and the Seven Samurai'

#122 TMBassassin

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 599
Joined: 02-May 02
Gender:Male
Location:wherever my bed is.

Posted 25 March 2007 - 11:50 AM

Kamille was getting lazy on the battlefield, swingung his swords in a bored manner.
he screamed out, to no one in particular, "get those SCV's building more factories! we need 10 siege tanks assigned to ctrl+1 now! make sure they're covered by at least 5 goliaths!"
satesfied that he had at least temporarily confused somebody, he returned to systematically splitting the spammers' heads into eighths.

Kamille Bio
man:"well, you must be stupider than you look!"
Homer: "....stupider like a FOX!"

#123 Selax

Lord Rapierian of the Sith

Group: Moderators
Posts: 3,026
Joined: 21-July 04
Gender:Male

Posted 29 March 2007 - 10:11 PM

Annoyed, Selax threw the SpamCop into the middle of a mass of Spammers. He remounted and rode back into the battle...

Long Live Cythera! Long Live the Cythera Web Board!

I now run a TS Character Killing Service.

Selax

#124 Jehezekel

Butterfly Dragon

Group: Members
Posts: 998
Joined: 02-April 05
Gender:Not Telling
Location:Færy

Posted 31 March 2007 - 04:13 PM

The SpamCop landed heavily on Jehezekel, quite squashing him, but otherwise shielding him from a particularly vicious attack by the Spammers.

My Cythera Boards characters:
Silverfish: 1.52ft/46.3cm Tall
Mitsos/Pirro: Canonically statted
Don't forget to write Cythera Chronicles!

#125 CrazyChick

Rawr: Ethanol

Group: Members
Posts: 1,901
Joined: 07-October 06
Gender:Female
Location:A little country you've probably never heard of...

Posted 03 April 2007 - 02:17 AM

Crazy glared at Kamille after his confusing outbreak.
"Hey! Confusing people is my job!" She turned to the massed army of spammers and shouted, "Kesa, ves i lofea o uay! I aheim cotuce vo o, o van lofea! Dou deru o envo?"

*OoC* Yes, it means something. What, I won't tell you. *BiC*