Help
This topic is locked
[quote]Originally posted by brandmkl4:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by dude3:
[B]Your jokes suck Brand. And learn how to spell.
i pressed the wrong button you fool.
p.s. my jokes are better than yours.
[/quote]
My jokes are great. And you need to learn how to use UBB.
------------------
dude3--the ketchup bottle in your wine rack.
Quote of the Week- "Hunger was then my faithful guard; he was the only friend who never left me, who shared everything with me honestly."
-Adolf Hitler
Stupid Joke of the Day
#126
- Ehhhhh...no?
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 3,501
- Joined: 10-February 02
- Location:Anytown, Anystate, USA
Posted 17 July 2002 - 12:41 AM
"For a writing to be a writing it must continue to 'act' and to be readable even when what is called the author of the writing no longer answers for what he has written..."
Jacques Derrida, "Signature Event Context"
Jacques Derrida, "Signature Event Context"
MultiQuote
#127
- Guardian
-
- Group: Moderators
- Posts: 12,036
- Joined: 05-July 00
- Gender:Male
Posted 17 July 2002 - 12:57 AM
Now that was a stupid joke. 
------------------
"Next time you want a revelation, could you chose a method that is perhaps less uncomfortable?"
------------------
"Next time you want a revelation, could you chose a method that is perhaps less uncomfortable?"
"Sometimes I get confused whether I'm posting on ATT or in the War Room. But then I remind myself: If it's moderators acting scatter-brained and foolish, then it's the War Room*.
*Unless it's Avatara, of course."
-- From the memoirs of Sundered Angel
*Unless it's Avatara, of course."
-- From the memoirs of Sundered Angel
#128
- Ehhhhh...no?
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 3,501
- Joined: 10-February 02
- Location:Anytown, Anystate, USA
Posted 17 July 2002 - 01:20 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Avatara:
Now that was a stupid joke.
Now that was a stupid joke.
What was so stupid about it? UBB is good to know.
------------------
dude3--the ketchup bottle in your wine rack.
Quote of the Week- "Hunger was then my faithful guard; he was the only friend who never left me, who shared everything with me honestly."
-Adolf Hitler
"For a writing to be a writing it must continue to 'act' and to be readable even when what is called the author of the writing no longer answers for what he has written..."
Jacques Derrida, "Signature Event Context"
Jacques Derrida, "Signature Event Context"
#129
- Guardian
-
- Group: Moderators
- Posts: 12,036
- Joined: 05-July 00
- Gender:Male
Posted 17 July 2002 - 01:44 AM
Though it may seem like it, I wasn't referring to you.
------------------
"Next time you want a revelation, could you chose a method that is perhaps less uncomfortable?"
------------------
"Next time you want a revelation, could you chose a method that is perhaps less uncomfortable?"
"Sometimes I get confused whether I'm posting on ATT or in the War Room. But then I remind myself: If it's moderators acting scatter-brained and foolish, then it's the War Room*.
*Unless it's Avatara, of course."
-- From the memoirs of Sundered Angel
*Unless it's Avatara, of course."
-- From the memoirs of Sundered Angel
#130
- The Shrout One.
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 4,659
- Joined: 30-November 01
- Location:MD, USA
Posted 17 July 2002 - 02:28 PM
nevermind. I sat here, thinking of something to say, just so others would be aware of my presence (just in case they cared), but I couldn't think of anything, so, nevermind. 
------------------
"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]
------------------
"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]
| Your Cursor is getting heavy.... You feel it coming to this link.... | Photobucket - The free image host | My Website
Shameless Self Promotion! - Let me convert your pictures/videos!
Shameless Self Promotion! - Let me convert your pictures/videos!
#131
- The Shrout One.
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 4,659
- Joined: 30-November 01
- Location:MD, USA
Posted 17 July 2002 - 02:30 PM
Actually, wow! I got dumped onto the first page after posting, and this thing has been around since January! A whole lot has happened in that time... heh.
------------------
"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]
------------------
"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]
| Your Cursor is getting heavy.... You feel it coming to this link.... | Photobucket - The free image host | My Website
Shameless Self Promotion! - Let me convert your pictures/videos!
Shameless Self Promotion! - Let me convert your pictures/videos!
#132
- earstwhile
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 7,728
- Joined: 13-December 01
- Gender:Male
- Location:That one place in Nevada.
Posted 26 July 2002 - 04:48 PM
maybe i said this already:
Two antennas get married. The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great.
I'm running out of material
------------------
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you
Two antennas get married. The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great.
I'm running out of material
------------------
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!
#133
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 278
- Joined: 27-April 02
Posted 26 July 2002 - 05:28 PM
Do not offend people. And do not brag. And that remark about my jokes being stupid is most impolite.
Don't laugh.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.
Q: What do you call a parrot that has been killed?
A: Poly-gone.
------------------
A life without danger is no life at all. -Blood Eagle
[This message has been edited by Blood Eagle (edited 07-26-2002).]
Don't laugh.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.
Q: What do you call a parrot that has been killed?
A: Poly-gone.
------------------
A life without danger is no life at all. -Blood Eagle
[This message has been edited by Blood Eagle (edited 07-26-2002).]
#134
- earstwhile
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 7,728
- Joined: 13-December 01
- Gender:Male
- Location:That one place in Nevada.
Posted 27 July 2002 - 11:17 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Blood Eagle:
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.
That was pretty good
------------------
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!
#135
- earstwhile
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 7,728
- Joined: 13-December 01
- Gender:Male
- Location:That one place in Nevada.
Posted 29 July 2002 - 10:50 AM
Why did the Ahmish couple get divorced?
He was driving her buggy.
------------------
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you
He was driving her buggy.
------------------
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!
#136
- earstwhile
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 7,728
- Joined: 13-December 01
- Gender:Male
- Location:That one place in Nevada.
Posted 30 July 2002 - 06:42 PM
what do you call a man w/ no arms and no legs on the wall?
Art
------------------
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you
Art
------------------
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!
#137
- earstwhile
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 7,728
- Joined: 13-December 01
- Gender:Male
- Location:That one place in Nevada.
Posted 31 July 2002 - 01:33 PM
Yo maama's so fat, she buys clothes in 3 sizes-Extra-Large, Jumbo, and"OH-My-God-It's-coming-towards-us"
------------------
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you
------------------
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!
#138
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 278
- Joined: 27-April 02
Posted 31 July 2002 - 04:04 PM
Back with the jokes. I don't care, if you laugh, good for you, if you don't, then it doesn't matter.
Yo momma's so poor that she can't afford to be homeless.
Man: What did you eat for dinner last night?
Skeleton: Me.
------------------
A question can never be too hard. -Blood Eagle
Current Plug-ins:
Black Inferno
SOS (Shadows of Salril)
Yo momma's so poor that she can't afford to be homeless.
Man: What did you eat for dinner last night?
Skeleton: Me.
------------------
A question can never be too hard. -Blood Eagle
Current Plug-ins:
Black Inferno
SOS (Shadows of Salril)
#139
- earstwhile
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 7,728
- Joined: 13-December 01
- Gender:Male
- Location:That one place in Nevada.
Posted 02 August 2002 - 11:56 AM
This joke has a rather, um, "wrong" punchline.
In this joke, "man" is the person who walks into the bar, "guy" is the one next to him.
A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The guy next to him has this tiny piano on the bar, much too small for a regular person to play. The man says to the guy,"I'll buy you if you can play [insert fairly difficult piece of music] on that piano." The guy says"OK" and he pulls out a foot-tall man, just the right size to play the piano. The little man plays the piece, andthe man gets the guy a beer. The man says,"How did you get the little man?" The guy says,"That little brass lamp over there" The man rubs the lamp, a genie come out, and hives the man 3 wishes. The man says,"I'd like a million bucks". The genie says "No problem!"And in the bar are a million......ducks. the man says,"I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!" The guy says,"Do you think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"
Read that last line again if you don't get it....
------------------
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you
In this joke, "man" is the person who walks into the bar, "guy" is the one next to him.
A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The guy next to him has this tiny piano on the bar, much too small for a regular person to play. The man says to the guy,"I'll buy you if you can play [insert fairly difficult piece of music] on that piano." The guy says"OK" and he pulls out a foot-tall man, just the right size to play the piano. The little man plays the piece, andthe man gets the guy a beer. The man says,"How did you get the little man?" The guy says,"That little brass lamp over there" The man rubs the lamp, a genie come out, and hives the man 3 wishes. The man says,"I'd like a million bucks". The genie says "No problem!"And in the bar are a million......ducks. the man says,"I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!" The guy says,"Do you think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"
Read that last line again if you don't get it....
------------------
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!
#140
- a Patriot with Red Sox
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 3,507
- Joined: 30-March 01
Posted 02 August 2002 - 08:42 PM
Quote
Originally posted by The Journalist:
This joke has a rather, um, "wrong" punchline.
In this joke, "man" is the person who walks into the bar, "guy" is the one next to him.
A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The guy next to him has this tiny piano on the bar, much too small for a regular person to play. The man says to the guy,"I'll buy you if you can play [insert fairly difficult piece of music] on that piano." The guy says"OK" and he pulls out a foot-tall man, just the right size to play the piano. The little man plays the piece, andthe man gets the guy a beer. The man says,"How did you get the little man?" The guy says,"That little brass lamp over there" The man rubs the lamp, a genie come out, and hives the man 3 wishes. The man says,"I'd like a million bucks". The genie says "No problem!"And in the bar are a million......ducks. the man says,"I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!" The guy says,"Do you think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"
Read that last line again if you don't get it....
This joke has a rather, um, "wrong" punchline.
In this joke, "man" is the person who walks into the bar, "guy" is the one next to him.
A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The guy next to him has this tiny piano on the bar, much too small for a regular person to play. The man says to the guy,"I'll buy you if you can play [insert fairly difficult piece of music] on that piano." The guy says"OK" and he pulls out a foot-tall man, just the right size to play the piano. The little man plays the piece, andthe man gets the guy a beer. The man says,"How did you get the little man?" The guy says,"That little brass lamp over there" The man rubs the lamp, a genie come out, and hives the man 3 wishes. The man says,"I'd like a million bucks". The genie says "No problem!"And in the bar are a million......ducks. the man says,"I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!" The guy says,"Do you think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"
Read that last line again if you don't get it....
Har har, I get it. Har har, hilarious. Ugh. Where'd you find that joke?
------------------
All hell that ends well -Me
Are you accusing me of planting the bomb in that building that I put a bomb in??? -Me
[url="http://"http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/pie.html"]Weebl and Bob[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.liquid2k.com/ethan_sucks/quiz6/pumpkin.jpg"] Pumpkin Puke[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.magleague.com"]MaG League- Overrider[/url]
The Underdogs Smiles:[url="http://"http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/gallery.htm"]Underdog Smiles[/url]
Why?
#141
- earstwhile
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 7,728
- Joined: 13-December 01
- Gender:Male
- Location:That one place in Nevada.
Posted 03 August 2002 - 09:46 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Overrider720:
Har har I get it. Har har hilarious. Ugh. Where'd you find that joke?
Har har I get it. Har har hilarious. Ugh. Where'd you find that joke?
Another person at a camp that I was at...
"A good time is essentially tasteless"
I edited the commas out of that quote
------------------
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!
#142
- earstwhile
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 7,728
- Joined: 13-December 01
- Gender:Male
- Location:That one place in Nevada.
Posted 03 August 2002 - 09:53 AM
*****sig test******
*****another sig test******
------------------
Join The Parenthese Club!
[url="http://"http://www2.communityzero.com/parenthese"]here[/url]
[This message has been edited by The Journalist (edited 08-03-2002).]
*****another sig test******
------------------
Join The Parenthese Club!
[url="http://"http://www2.communityzero.com/parenthese"]here[/url]
[This message has been edited by The Journalist (edited 08-03-2002).]
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!
#143
- Ehhhhh...no?
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 3,501
- Joined: 10-February 02
- Location:Anytown, Anystate, USA
Posted 03 August 2002 - 05:22 PM
Time for some tasteless jokes.
Why did Helen Keller's son commit suicide?
You'd kill yourself too if your name was Urrraaaaaeeghhhhh.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she'a a woman.
How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
None, it should be opened when his wife brings it to him.
In case you actually take these seriously, let me remind you that I know these are extremely tasteless.
------------------
dude3--the ketchup bottle in your wine rack.
Quote of the Week- "Eleven and she was gone. Eleven is when we waved good-bye. Eleven is standing still, waiting for me to free him by coming home. -Tool
Why did Helen Keller's son commit suicide?
You'd kill yourself too if your name was Urrraaaaaeeghhhhh.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she'a a woman.
How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
None, it should be opened when his wife brings it to him.
In case you actually take these seriously, let me remind you that I know these are extremely tasteless.
------------------
dude3--the ketchup bottle in your wine rack.
Quote of the Week- "Eleven and she was gone. Eleven is when we waved good-bye. Eleven is standing still, waiting for me to free him by coming home. -Tool
"For a writing to be a writing it must continue to 'act' and to be readable even when what is called the author of the writing no longer answers for what he has written..."
Jacques Derrida, "Signature Event Context"
Jacques Derrida, "Signature Event Context"
#144
- earstwhile
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 7,728
- Joined: 13-December 01
- Gender:Male
- Location:That one place in Nevada.
Posted 04 August 2002 - 02:39 PM
Those are almost too tasteless…and furthermore they hardly make sense.
ellipsis…the…comma…of…the…future!!!
------------------
Join The Parenthese Club!
[url="http://"http://www2.communityzero.com/parenthese"]here[/url]
ellipsis…the…comma…of…the…future!!!
------------------
Join The Parenthese Club!
[url="http://"http://www2.communityzero.com/parenthese"]here[/url]
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!
#145
- The Shrout One.
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 4,659
- Joined: 30-November 01
- Location:MD, USA
Posted 05 August 2002 - 12:43 PM
12 inch pianist... Hmm... he had how many wishes? I mean, what kind of learning curve are we talking about here ?
------------------
"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.evula.com"]Your Cursor is getting heavy.... You feel it coming to this link....[/url]
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]
?------------------
"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.evula.com"]Your Cursor is getting heavy.... You feel it coming to this link....[/url]
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]
| Your Cursor is getting heavy.... You feel it coming to this link.... | Photobucket - The free image host | My Website
Shameless Self Promotion! - Let me convert your pictures/videos!
Shameless Self Promotion! - Let me convert your pictures/videos!
#146
- The Shrout One.
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 4,659
- Joined: 30-November 01
- Location:MD, USA
Posted 05 August 2002 - 12:47 PM
Here's an old one:
Fortune cookie says:
"That wasn't chicken"
------------------
"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.evula.com"]Your Cursor is getting heavy.... You feel it coming to this link....[/url]
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]
Fortune cookie says:
"That wasn't chicken"
------------------
"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.evula.com"]Your Cursor is getting heavy.... You feel it coming to this link....[/url]
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]
| Your Cursor is getting heavy.... You feel it coming to this link.... | Photobucket - The free image host | My Website
Shameless Self Promotion! - Let me convert your pictures/videos!
Shameless Self Promotion! - Let me convert your pictures/videos!
#147
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 183
- Joined: 01-July 02
Posted 05 August 2002 - 03:06 PM
Thats a good one!
Here's my small collection of tasteless jokes:
A hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey! We don't serve food here"
Q. Whats brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. What do you call a Mexican immigrant without a lawnmower?
A. Unemployed.
(sorry bout that one)
Q. Whats brown and sounds like a bell?
A. Dung!
Have you heard about the amazing new invention that allows astranots to see through the walls of their space ships?? -Its called windows!
he he he. I crack myself up
------------------
"If there were no God, it would be necessary to invent one."
--Voltaire
Here's my small collection of tasteless jokes:
A hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey! We don't serve food here"
Q. Whats brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. What do you call a Mexican immigrant without a lawnmower?
A. Unemployed.
(sorry bout that one)
Q. Whats brown and sounds like a bell?
A. Dung!
Have you heard about the amazing new invention that allows astranots to see through the walls of their space ships?? -Its called windows!
he he he. I crack myself up
------------------
"If there were no God, it would be necessary to invent one."
--Voltaire
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
#148
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 213
- Joined: 12-January 02
Posted 05 August 2002 - 04:32 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Dan-D-Man:
he he he. I crack myself up
he he he. I crack myself up
I am an egg. I crack me up.
------------------
You've got a pet halibut?
Yes. I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too flat.
#149
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 278
- Joined: 27-April 02
Posted 05 August 2002 - 08:03 PM
Here are some tasteless jokes.
Man: Who ate my hamburger?
Wife: I don't know. I couldn't see it, because it was in your mouth.
Q: What do you call a mental squirrel?
A: Gone nuts!
Q: Who is Snow White's brother?
A: Egg White - Get the yolk?
------------------
A question can never be too hard. -Blood Eagle
Current Plug-ins:
Black Inferno
SOS (Shadows of Salril)
Man: Who ate my hamburger?
Wife: I don't know. I couldn't see it, because it was in your mouth.
Q: What do you call a mental squirrel?
A: Gone nuts!
Q: Who is Snow White's brother?
A: Egg White - Get the yolk?
------------------
A question can never be too hard. -Blood Eagle
Current Plug-ins:
Black Inferno
SOS (Shadows of Salril)
#150
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 183
- Joined: 01-July 02
Posted 06 August 2002 - 10:39 AM
A computer without Windows is like a chocolate cake without mustard.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating
<i> AND... </i>
Doctor: I'm terribly sorry, but we amputated the wrong leg
Patient: OH MY GOD!!!
Doctor: Well, the good news is that the guy in the next bed wants to buy your shoes!
------------------
"If there were no God, it would be necessary to invent one."
--Voltaire
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating
<i> AND... </i>
Doctor: I'm terribly sorry, but we amputated the wrong leg
Patient: OH MY GOD!!!
Doctor: Well, the good news is that the guy in the next bed wants to buy your shoes!
------------------
"If there were no God, it would be necessary to invent one."
--Voltaire
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
