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The Taco Bell and llamas are incinerated in a blast of superheated plasma that the sentient road has generated.

The lizard takes a tour of Figi.

Several BoBs form an activist movement to stop the senseless destruction of BoBs everywhere, but are shoved into a lake of lava by some sort of cyborg. The cyborg grins and starts going after the Pfor on the planet.

Meanwhile, the gecko still lays under two tons of radioactive pavement. It does not respawn.

Two tumbleweeds blow across the screen, but are nuked by a couple of kangaroos with micronuke rockets and a SPNKR (which, although it doesn't stand for SPANKER phonetically sounds that way). The kangaroos are, in turn, burnt to a crisp by Caveman Og in an F-4 Phantom equiped with napalm bombs, short-range tactical nukes, and sidewinder missiles. Og grins.

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"Loyalty to a petrified opinion never broke a chain or freed a human soul."
--Samuel Clemons

Og lands his plane, and loses his head as he hits the tarmac. It bounces across the runway and into a ditch where a family of field mice, grinning at their good fortune take it home to eat.

The mice are completly ignored by everyone as they feast on Og's unimportant head.

Where'd my root-beer go?

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Ne Cede Malis Sed Contra Audientor Ito

The battleroid had it.
Of course, the cyborg has it now, and has not taken it from the battleroid...
Make the connection...

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William Darkk, head of the Darkklight Entrepenurial Federation
"Strategic warfare" is code for "killing civilians", and it's my calling. Yeah, it's barbaric. War's supposed to be.

Caveman Og respawns. He loses his head again. He respawns again. He loses his head again. Finally, he respawns and staples his head to his neck.

Caveman Og has his plane refueled and rearmed, then takes off for D.C., intending to nuke the fanatics that have taken over. Og grins.

Meanwhile, the lizard continues to bask in the sun on the warm rock. The lizard grins.

However, trouble brews far away. The Geiko gecko, looking like hell, finishes burrowing out from underneath the asphalt. With a vengeful look in its remaining eye, it starts out to find a 35 megaton ICBM it can hijack for purposes of revenge.

A tumbleweed blows across the sceen. It makes it to the other side unmolested.


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"Loyalty to a petrified opinion never broke a chain or freed a human soul."
--Samuel Clemons

Suddenly, the Salrilians give the Gecko a chronon cannon, far more dangerous than a mere nuclear missle to destroy the road with in an effort to prevent the road from upsetting the balence of the universe. The Gecko with the huge gun and the near-omnipotent road squared off...

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William Darkk, head of the Darkklight Entrepenurial Federation
"Strategic warfare" is code for "killing civilians", and it's my calling. Yeah, it's barbaric. War's supposed to be.

The lizard pulls out a pokeball, throwing it at the road. He screams;

"Pikachu! I Choose You!"

Pikachu stands, facing the road, ready to do battle...

Pika-pika...

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NEW NAME FOR THE DREADNOUGHT
The Hard-Boiled Egg
Why?
Because she cant be beaten!

The Road and Gecko join forces to toast [I can't say it's name], the Lizard, and Pharris for introducing that unspeakable evil. They then go back to their duel. They...

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William Darkk, head of the Darkklight Entrepenurial Federation
"Strategic warfare" is code for "killing civilians", and it's my calling. Yeah, it's barbaric. War's supposed to be.

squint at each other.

Suddenly, the road toasts the gecko with a plasma wave from behind it.

The road goes back to impersenating a somewhat normal road. The gecko goes back to being dead.

The lizard respawns, but strangles itself for introducing something so vile into the universe. It respawns again, and starts running across the desert for D.C. Little does he know....

Og the Caveman slides into the Jetstream, which is going his way over D.C., and hits the afterburners. "Ug og oooghu, og...OHG!" he exclaims (translation: at this rate, I should be there in no time. OHG!).

Below him, large swaths of dry grain fields sit passively. Og drops a napalm cylinder on a particularly large, dry field. Several hours later, most of the midwest is burning, and Og the Caveman is near his target. Meanwhile....

The lizard is still running alongside the famous sentient road, when he comes to a horrible sight: all of the fields before him are burning! Of course, this would normally not be so horrible, but he has to get across the midwest to get to D.C., and the midwest is on fire. The lizard looks to the right. More fields on fire, and a sign bearing the lable "Route 66.5" is starting to catch on fire.

Having little other recourse, the lizard...

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"Loyalty to a petrified opinion never broke a chain or freed a human soul."
--Samuel Clemons

...dies, in hope to respawn nearer D.C. It, however, respawns on Gaitor...

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We don't go to hell,
memories of us do.
And if you go to hell,
I'll still remember you.

The Lizard is a strong believer in the philosophy that there is no problem in the universe that cannot be solved with the use of a Robar Sniper Rifle. Luckily, he happens to have his on him when he respawns. He now needs to figure out how to use it in this particular situation...

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NEW NAME FOR THE DREADNOUGHT
The Hard-Boiled Egg
Why?
Because she cant be beaten!

He runs to the starport, and gets on a luxury liner. He runs up to the bridge, snipes the bridge crew, and begins reading the pilot's manual...

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"I think I have discovered the problem with humans. It is not entirely stupidity, as I once thought. It is their pigheaded and baseless philosophy: "If it isn't me, then it's opinions, feelings, and life do not matter, and it was meant to serve me." They also have this ability for creating excuses that are pointless, but they get others to believe it. A few examples: "It's only some savages. It's only five acres of rain forest. It's only one semi-truck. It's only fifty gallons of toxic waste..." After this realization, I marvelled at how humans, and the rest of the planet, have survived for so very long."
- Me

The pilots manual, however, is incomprehensible, so the lizard just starts pushing buttons...

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"Loyalty to a petrified opinion never broke a chain or freed a human soul."
--Samuel Clemons

He finally finds the 'Go Forward' button, but misses it and hit the 'Go Backwards Super Duper Incredibly Gigantically Massively Fastly' Button, and ends up at DC.

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Subcommander g'Var "8 Lightnings" Krai'un
Second in command of the Escort Starbeam.
"CRUISER DESTROYED. 91 remaining" -Ares, chapter 9, Hand Over Fist

The lizard`s head blows up because he wasn`t used to the maximum speed.

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I`m a bomb technician. If you see me running...try to keep up.

Then the Lizard respawns in a Lybian oil drill site...

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What would the walnuts do?

...and OctoberFost slaps Walnut for using "in" instead of "at" in the above post.

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Bah bah black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.
[url="http://"http://www.drippingchipmunk.com"]DrippingChipmunk.com[/url]
[url="http://"http://www.downwithbush.net"]DOWNWITHBUSH.NET[/url]
[url="http://"http://www.jonpearse.f2s.com/ev3/ev3_quotes.php"]#EV3 QUOTE ARCHIVE [/url]

[Darkk slaps Octoberfrost because "in" is fine in the above post.]

First the lizard kills everyone in the military base next door.
Then the lizard forces the workers to carry all the military supples from the base next to one of the wells.
Then the lizard pulls a QSG from [url="http://"http://www.planetunreal.com/u4e/"]U4e[/url] and uses its temporary invincability function, right after firing a rocket at all the explosives. The massive blast brings the lizard safely to DC, as even falling damage is absorbed by the QSG.

------------------
William Darkk, head of the Darkklight Entrepenurial Federation
"Strategic warfare" is code for "killing civilians", and it's my calling. Yeah, it's barbaric. War's supposed to be.

Og the Caveman grunts. His F-4 Phantom is nearing the target. Suddenly, a Gaitori luxury liner plummets out of the sky, backwards, and slams into the ground 30,000 feet below. Og grins.

The lizard finds himself in D.C. The lizard grins. The lizard sets himself up as Emporer-For-Life.

However, Og the Caveman drops three of his four nukes. D.C. goes up in a tremendous blast of gamma radiation, alpha radiation, three shockwaves, beta radiation, and a whole lotta smoke.

The lizard respawns inside what's left of the Gaitori luxury liner, and finds that it was a Gaitori military transport, which explains why the instructions were incomprehensible. The lizard snipes the rest of the Gaitor soldiers.

Far above Maine, Og is still bouncing in his seat, happy to have caused so much destruction. Unfortunately, he accidently ejects. His F-4 goes on to New York City, where it crashes, causing the fourth nuke, plus all the other nifty toys loaded onto the plane, to go "boom." Og the Caveman parachutes down next to an old man fishing on a dock...

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"Loyalty to a petrified opinion never broke a chain or freed a human soul."
--Samuel Clemons

[Captain Pharris slaps both of them, completing the three stooges routine. Either will work!]

The lizard crawls to the top of the capitol dome, and waits for inaugeration day with his robar...

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NEW NAME FOR THE DREADNOUGHT
The Hard-Boiled Egg
Why?
Because she cant be beaten!

...when suddenly, out of nowhere, the Voinian dreadnaught appears and starts laying waste to Chicago. Hek met respawns yet again and...

(Hey, we've already got Deus Ex, Marathon, etc. characters. Why not have a Voinian? )

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We don't go to hell,
memories of us do.
And if you go to hell,
I'll still remember you.

Jan. 20th comes. The Lizard is ready with his weapon.

As the president comes closer, the Lizard aims. But then he had a better idea.

Why not just destroy all the Republican Senators from states with Democratic Governors? Then the Democrats would have a majority in the Senate and the Lizard would be pleased.

As for the Voinians....

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Bah bah black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.
[url="http://"http://www.drippingchipmunk.com"]DrippingChipmunk.com[/url]
[url="http://"http://www.downwithbush.net"]DOWNWITHBUSH.NET[/url]
[url="http://"http://www.jonpearse.f2s.com/ev3/ev3_quotes.php"]#EV3 QUOTE ARCHIVE [/url]

The Pfhor land 3 million troops on D.C. and proceed to kill everything (Even the voinians).

The lizard entertains himself for hours, sniping and sniping and sniping...

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Ne Cede Malis Sed Contra Audientor Ito

As he bleeds to death, Illinois Senator Peter Fitzgerald mates with a small child visiting the capitol to pass on his DNA before he dies.

Nine months later...

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Bah bah black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.
[url="http://"http://www.drippingchipmunk.com"]DrippingChipmunk.com[/url]
[url="http://"http://www.downwithbush.net"]DOWNWITHBUSH.NET[/url]
[url="http://"http://www.jonpearse.f2s.com/ev3/ev3_quotes.php"]#EV3 QUOTE ARCHIVE [/url]

Meanwhile, Og the caveman suddenly is crushed as the gaitori military transport finally hit the ground and skidded and bounced until it bounced really high and crushed Og.

...nine months later, in a remote area of Africa, a child with supernatural powers is born. Its extremely intelligent, and can begin making complex speeches right away. Unfortunately, it can cause people to strangle themselves to death after a few words, since his father had the ability to bore everybody to death.

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"I'm a controversial figure. My friends either dislike me or hate me."

Og respawns on the exact spot where the child with supernatural powers stands, and because of it a supernatural Og child space-time temperal quantum flux thing is created on the very spot.

Until it is promptly shot, and both characters die.
A black hole is created on the spot, and…