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Awesome! I was really impressed with the drawing, but it's the caption that really got me. I just love jokes based on the game :D And yes, I am curious about the shirt, though it looks more purple than pink to me? Also, is he wearing shin-guards? o_O (That might be useful protection against ratlizards)
The Glass Menagerie The Cythera Anthology
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#77
- Minion #453
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- Group: Members
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- Joined: 02-October 05
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Posted 18 December 2013 - 02:45 PM
(Prologue: A Visit from St. Firecat)
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through alt-Cythera
Not a creature was stirring, not even a capybara
The heroes hung their stockings inside the volcano
Hoping for more than a rock or potato
Av & K were nestled all snug in their sleeping bags
Dreaming of Selax, torture, slavery, and rags
While mean old Rapierian needed no sleep
He stayed up and schemed how to be a bigger creep
When from outside the cave there arose such a ruckus
It sounded like someone clanging around in metal buckets
Rapierian ran outside of the cave, fast as Flynn
To find out what was making that awful din
For as far as he knew, this land was barren
And nothing lived there but K, Av, & him
As for his surprise, who could gauge?
For outside his saw his friend Yomu, now called Sage!
And if that wasn't enough, he wasn't alone
Rap would've called for backup, but there was no signal on his phone
Sage directed his minions, each individually
(Though really he got their names wrong, quite abysmally)
"Now Mittens, now Ginger, now Kitty and Tiger!
On Whiskers, on Boots, on Garfield and Biter!
Now to the volcano, on to the secret entrance!
Quickly now, before evil Wizard has his vengeance!"
The small army of cats dashed on ahead
While Rapierian, feeling hungry, ate a piece of bread
He watched as the cats entered a hidden cave
Sage followed, then Athes, carrying a sack like a slave
Rapierian was curious and made the decision
To follow these fellows and provide supervision
Around dark twists & turns Sage and minions walked
Behind them Rapierian silently stalked
Unbeknownst to Athes, his sack had a small hole
From which fell many candies, treats, and one lump of coal
Rapierian hoarded the sweets as they fell to the ground
Now his pockets were bulging and he was looking quite round
At last Sage & minions finally stopped
When they came to the place where the stockings had been propped
Sage took the sack from Athes and began filling
Av & K stockings, which Rapierian found thrilling
For quickly Sage emptied the sack and Rap saw
That his plan had contained a tragic flaw
Now Sage realized the sack was missing a lot
He sent Athes back, and Rapierian would be caught
Was it time now for Rapierian to make his appearance?
Or somehow cause there to be an interference?
A mild explosive he threw from his cloak
But it was really a candy cane he'd grabbed, what a joke
Sage was on to him in no time flat
Pounced he upon him, agile as a cat
"I can see, naughty miscreant, that you haven't reformed
My anger against you is thoroughly warmed
You have selfishly stolen what was meant for your peers
And despite all your misdeeds, you show no fears!"
Rapierian knew what Sage said was true
But felt only amusement all the way through.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Act 1: Yomu's Warning)
Rapierian stood calmly, Sage pushing him against the wall of the cave, ranting about how awful of a person Rapierian was for stealing his companions' Christmas candy.
"You seem very upset," Rapierian observed when Sage stopped for breath, "fascinating."
This comment only seemed to aggravate Sage further. "You don't understand!" he roared. (It was pretty loud, considering how close his face was to Rapierian's ears, with irked Rapierian.) Suddenly Sage seemed to convulse, he was having some kind of seizure. Rapierian pushed him away to insure his own safety. Sage fell to the ground, convulsing for several seconds. After he stopped, he moaned and sat up.
Rapierian stared at him in curiosity. He looked different than he had moments earlier - his face, his eyes, they were different, and familiar. He looked more like the boy Rapierian remembered from the Tree of Life and Terminated quests.
"Yomu?" Rapierian asked uncertainly.
"Hi," said Yomu. It was more of a moan than speech, really.
"Very interesting... I thought you were dead."
"I am dead," agreed Yomu. "At a great deal of personal effort, I have come back, to warn you!"
"I figured Firecat killed you and took over your body," continued Rapierian.
"Yeah, that is pretty-much what happened."
"And yet you've come back? This is most intriguing. As you might know, I'm very interested in the field of reversing death. Though your sentience returning is unfortunate, indeed.."
"Rapierian, listen," said Yomu seriously. "You are in great danger! If you do not change your ways very soon, you will be bound for a similar fate to mine! Confined to these chains, these heavy heavy chains, for all eternity."
"Chains?" Rapierian raised an eyebrow. Yomu wasn't wearing anything remotely like chains.
"Yes, chains!" sighed Yomu. "The chains of imprisonment, never relenting, not one sliver of freedom have I been allowed, until now, and I fear this shall be terribly brief. I too did not understand the meaning of Christmas, I too failed to show love and compassion to my companions, and as a result, I am imprisoned for eternity, slave to a master with less-than-desired motives, with no will of my own..."
"You mean Firecat?" asked Rapierian, growing quite bored of the conversation.
"Aye, that one. You, of course, will be enslaved to a different, even crueler, master. But you also will be bound in heavy chains until the end of the time, with no free will, your every action an agonizing torture."
"What a shame," commented Rapierian disinterestedly.
"You still do not grasp the gravity of the situation," lamented Yomu. "Listen, tonight, this very night, three of my cronies will visit you to convince you of what I have said."
"More dead people?" asked Rapierian with a hint of excitement.
"Aye," said Yomu sadly. "I think I have done all that I can do for you. I hope that after the three conferences with my associates, you will choose to heed my advice."
"I don't even remember what your advice is," said Rapierian honestly.
"To change your ways and show Christmas love to your companions!"
"Oh. Suuuuure..."
"I must be going, I want to see how far I can get before I'm forced back to the Land of the Dead."
"I understand. Hey, I'll walk you out," offered Rapierian.
"Thank you."
Yomu and Rapierian walked back to the volcano's secret entrance, Sage's minions following awkwardly behind. When they reached the entrance, Yomu kept going. "Fare thee well!" He called back to Rapierian.
Rapierian stayed at the entrance a moment, pondering in curiosity the things Yomu had told him. In the distance, he could hear bells jingling. Bells? What was that? It seemed to be coming from the sky. Rapierian looked off to the distance and saw a form in the sky, coming nearer.
The jingling grew louder too, and finally the UFO was close enough to distinguish. It appeared to be a flying sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. And they were descending. Once it got close enough, Rapierian realized that Selax was in the sleigh, but he did not appear to have control over his vehicle.
The reindeer crashed - right on top of Yomu.
After a lot of arranging themselves and Selax shouting at them and stomping on Yomu, the reindeer finally managed to take flight again.
Rapierian watched with interest. A flying sleigh - fascinating. Perhaps he should try that someday...
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Music break! (1 of 2))
Yomu got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our camp, Christmas eve
You can think there's no such thing as Selax
But as for me and Firecat, we believe!
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Music break! (2 of 2))
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
You are not very impressive
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
You're really rather depressive
Ever since the elements died
None of the trees have really thrived
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Your lights set fire to thee :(
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Act 2: The Ghost of Christmas Past)
Alone, Rapierian made his way back to the cave-chamber where he, K, and Avatara had made camp for the night (Sage's minions had wandered off to who-knows-where after Yomu was hit by a reindeer). He didn't really believe that he'd be visited by more dead people (after all, what are the chances?), and he was bored with his schemes at the moment, so he got into his sleeping bag and went to sleep...
"Rapierian."
Rapierian stirred slightly.
"Rapierian."
Rapierian sat up and looked around. Someone had said his name. It was fairly dim in the cave, lit only by some nearby pools of lava, but Rapierian eventually identified the visitor. It seemed to be a not-entirely-corporeal four-legged purple unicorn, who was simply floating in the air.
Rapierian stood up. "You called?" he asked the unicorn-ghost casually.
"Yes. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I am the Ghost of Christmas Past. I am here to teach you about the magic of friendship."
Rapierian rolled his eyes. "I'm going back to bed."
"Not so fast, mister!" said the Ghost of Christmas Past, and her ghostly horn began to glow, and before Rapierian knew it, he and the ghost both teleported away.
Rapierian now was in a forest somewhere. Actually, he was floating above a forest, he had become incorporeal like the unicorn who was now floating beside him.
"So, you're a ghost," said Rapierian.
"That's right," agreed Twilight.
"That means you're dead."
"Yes, I am. Would you like to hear my tragic tale?"
"I don't know... Do you have any popcorn?"
"Afraid not."
"Bummer. Oh all right, I'll listen. This better be a good tragic tale."
The Ghost of Christmas Past looked overall unimpressed with Rapierian's attitude. "Long ago," she begun, "I lived in another world called Equestria. Equestria was a world of ponies - Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns, such as myself. I was a scholar of the magical arts, and I dedicated my life to studying the magic of friendship."
"Bah, humbug!" muttered Rapierian. This wasn't a very good tragic tale.
"Before he lost the ability to void-travel, an evil overlord named Selax came into our world. My friends and I were left to defend it, and with the magic of friendship, we were able to prevent him from completely taking over for many months, before we ultimately succumbed to his terrifying power. He killed us, and we are now banished from the land of mortals, unable to return except on Christmas Eve, when the magic of friendship is exceptionally strong. Even now, I cannot fully return, and remain merely a ghost..."
Rapierian yawned. "So if the magic of friendship didn't do you any good, what's the point?"
This seemed to be a touchy subject for Twilight. "HEY BUDDY, I'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS!" she exploded. Rapierian smiled in amusement. "Now, let's get back to your world," she said. "Have you figured out why I'm called the Ghost of Christmas Past?"
"I found I didn't care," said Rapierian.
"It's because I've taken you to revisit a Christmas from your past," explained Twilight. "Do you recognize this forest?"
Rapierian did, but he did not care to remember it. Against his will, he found that he and the Ghost of Christmas Past were somehow moving, going further and further into the forest. Finally they stopped in a clearing where a group of kids were playing some sort of game. Off to the side, a little boy Rapierian watched them. The young Rapierian was barely recognizable to those who know the adult Rapierian, his appearance was much different. Most notably, the child's large nose emanated red light. The red light flickered, making a faint-but-annoying screeching sound.
As the ghosts watched above, the child Rapierian approached the playing children. "Hey guys," he said shyly. "Can I play? Please?"
"Look everyone!" said one of the little boys. "It's Lightbulb-Nose!" The kids laughed. "He wants to play with us!" More laughter. Little-Rapierian was looking at the ground. "I've got an idea," continued the bully, "why don't we play hide-and-go-seek? You hide, and we'll see how long it takes for someone to see or hear your nose!" More laughter.
"Nevermind," said little-Rapierian, and turned around and ran away.
"The little boy, ostracized by his peers because of a horrendous birth defect," lamented Twilight. "He never again tried to make friends or discover the magic of friendship. Alas! When he grew older, he turned to dark magic to correct the nose defect, but he was never the same..."
"To think, I may have never discovered the joy of dark magic if it weren't for that birth defect!" said Rapierian in horror.
"No no NO!" exclaimed Twilight. "You're supposed to be thinking about what you did miss - friendship!"
"Meh," shrugged Rapierian.
The Ghost of Christmas Past sighed. "I was afraid of this." The forest faded around them as they were teleported back into the volcanic cave. "I'll have to leave you to my friend, the Ghost of Christmas Present. Hopefully she can knock some sense into you!"
With that, the ghost-unicorn disappeared. Rapierian shrugged and sat down to wait for the next ghost.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Music break!)
Deck the halls with leaves of peppermint, fa la la la la la la la la
'Tis the season to scoff at betterment, fa la la la la la la la la
Don we now our metal breastplates, fa la la la la la la la la
To protect us on our ice skates, fa la la la la la la la la
Laugh at lame old Blazing Trails, fa la la la la la la la la
Strike the lyre and sing your tales, fa la la la la la la la la
Telling our story is quite a pleasure, fa la la la la la la la la
A longer tale than Tale of the Treasure, fa la la la la la la la la
Time stands still in this TS, fa la la la la la la la la
So thoughts of the New Year will only depress, fa la la la la la la la la
Rejoice tonight that we're highly honored, fa la la la la la la la la
Heedless that we'll soon be conquered, fa la la la la la la la la!
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Act 3: The Ghost of Christmas Present)
Rapierian must've dozed off, because he was awakened by a very quiet, timid voice.
"um, excuse me..." whispered the voice.
Rapierian found that the speaker (or whisperer) looked similar to the last ghost - incorporeal and pony-like. This one was a yellow pegasus with a pink mane and pink tail. "Are you the Ghost of Christmas Present?" asked Rapierian.
"um, yes, i am... i'm sorry to disturb you..."
"Well, let's get this over with."
"yes, um, of course... sorry..."
The cave around Rapierian and the Ghost of Christmas Present disappeared, and they found themselves floating in an enormous ballroom, full of elegantly dressed people, most of whom were dancing. At the center of the room stood a large, intricately-decorated Christmas tree.
K and Avatara (dressed up of course) were dancing together, until the ballroom doors opened and Yomu Drosselmeyer entered.
"Godfather!" exclaimed K, and ran over to him.
Yomu cringed. "Aren't I younger than you?"
"I dunno, how old are you?" asked K.
"I dunno, how old are you?" Yomu shot back.
"I dunno. Did you bring me a present?"
"As a matter of fact, I did."
K beamed.
"Rapierian!" called Yomu. For the first time, incorporeal-Rapierian noticed the Rapierian present at the party. He was dressed in a disgusting fancy suit. Party-Rapierian bounded over to Yomu cheerfully.
"What is this?" asked incorporeal-Rapierian in disgust.
"um, this is what happened a few hours ago?" The Ghost of Christmas Present whispered.
"In what reality?"
"it, um, happened here. to you. sorry."
Rapierian raised an eyebrow and looked back at the party. Yomu had given K a couple of creepy life-sized dancing dolls, and Rapierian a set of toy soldiers. Then Yomu pulled yet another gift out, a nutcracker. Incorporeal-Rapierian narrowed his eyes, that nutcracker looked an awful lot like Avatara... Who had mysteriously vanished from the party.
Yomu gave the nutcracker to K, who seemed completely enthralled with it. She danced around the room, hugging and adoring the stupid nutcracker. It sickened both Rapierians. Finally party-Rapierian snatched the nutcracker from her arms and started a game of keep-away with the other boys at the party.
Incorporeal-Rapierian chuckled. "Nice one!"
"um," whispered the Ghost of Christmas Present, sounding terrified, "i'm obliged to point out that it wasn't 'nice' at all, it was actually quite mean. sorry."
The boys continued throwing the nutcracker back & forth until party-Rapierian accidentally threw it into the wall and broke it. K cried in despair, while party-Rapierian shrugged.
"you, um, y-you recognize this, right?" whispered the Ghost of Christmas Present.
"Well, except we weren't actually at a fancy party, we were in a volcanic cave, and there wasn't actually a nutcracker, just candy, and I didn't break it, I just hoarded it for myself, and Avatara and K slept through the whole thing, but other then that... yeah, it was completely different."
"oh," she squeaked. "i guess i got some of the details wrong. i'm really sorry." She was lying down in midair, trying to hide behind her hooves.
Down at the party, Yomu Drosselmeyer was now tying a handkerchief around the broken jaw of the nutcracker. K looked somewhat relieved at the solution. She gently lay the nutcracker under the tree. Then the scene seemed to fade, fast forwarding until the ballroom was empty. Then K slipped back in, in her nightgown, and fell asleep under the tree with the nutcracker.
"Somewhat disturbing," noted Rapierian.
"it-it gets more interesting..."
Then the ghosts heard a scurrying sound, and a horde of mice suddenly sprang forth from the shadows and ran toward the Christmas tree. Dozens of toy soldiers on & around the tree came to life and took defensive stances, readying swords and cannons. The nutcracker also came to life, and was silently giving orders to the soldiers.
K, meanwhile, was shrinking.
Rapierian glanced at the Ghost of Christmas Present. "Took just a few liberties, did you?"
The Ghost of Christmas Present was still hiding behind her hooves and shaking uncontrollably. "ju-ju-just a few. i'm trying to show the hardships your companions must face because of your selfish actions."
"I don't get it," confessed Rapierian. "I caused them to become little toys and to be attacked by mice?"
"um.. yes.. something like that."
K (now approximately the size of a toy soldier) had woken up and was frantic about the danger the nutcracker was in. The nutcracker was dueling with the leader of the mouse army, a slightly larger mouse who wore a royal crown. It was pretty obvious that the nutcracker had no chance.
K took off one of her slippers and threw it at the mouse king. The slipper hit him in the head and he fell down, dead.
"Wow!" Rapierian was impressed with the effectiveness of the slipper-throw. "We should try that against Selax!"
The mice were now retreating, dragging the body of their dead king with them. The toy soldiers cheered. The nutcracker no longer looked much like a nutcracker, just a miniature Avatara. He and K boarded a sleigh that had appeared out of nowhere, and took off to... what, another alternate dimension? Rapierian and the Ghost of Christmas Present seemed to be following them.
Shortly, they arrived in Candyland. Some random fairy seemed ecstatic to see Avatara & K, and promptly ordered a bunch of candies, drinks, and miscellaneous other goodies to dance for them.
Rapierian covered his eyes and groaned at all the cheerful dancing performances. "Does anything else happen?" he asked.
"um. well. no. not really."
"I'm out of here," he announced, and turned to leave; but found to his dismay that while he could move his limbs, he couldn't actually propel himself in any direction. "Take me back!" he demanded to the Ghost of Christmas Present.
The Ghost of Christmas Past shook even more violently. "okay," she squeaked.
Immediately, Rapierian (once again corporeal) and the ghost were back in the volcanic-cave-camp.
"thank you. i'm sorry. bye," whispered the Ghost of Christmas Present, and disappeared.
Rapierian glanced Avatara and K, and saw they were still sleeping as soundly as ever.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Music break!)
(Selax's dream)
Dashing through the void,
No humans, elves, nor fay
Over realities I go
Laughing all the way
All who see me scream
I don't care if it's perverse
Oh what find to ride and scheme
How to take over the universe
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Why is voidtravel so noisy and loud?
It's much to my dismay - hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
I will kill who's making all this noise
They must learn to obey
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Act 4: The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come)
Rapierian was torn between horror over the festivities he had been forced to witness, and curiosity about what the third ghost would show him. He hadn't long to wait though, because with a pop, a pink pony ghost appeared beside him. She was very hyper and jumped around Rapierian in circles.
"Knock it off," Rapierian ordered, and the pony ghost stopping circling around him, but continued bouncing in place.
Rapierian had a bad feeling about this ghost.
"Who are you?" he asked.
The pony ghost indicated a name tag sticker on her chest. It read, HELLO, MY NAME IS
Pinkie Pie - The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come!
"So... You're going to show me a Christmas of my future?" reasoned Rapierian. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come nodded vehemently. Then she pulled a piece of paper and a pencil from out of nowhere, and began writing.
She wrote for a very long time. Rapierian nodded off and was awakened when she shoved the paper under his nose. Rapierian accepted it and read,
I am going to show you your fate if you do not change your ways. Without the magic of friendship, you will become more & more cruel & heartless, EVEN on Christmas!!!
Cool! thought Rapierian, and read on,
By the way, my world was conquered by Selax. Not only did he kill me, but he took my most treasured possession, my voice, away from me for all of the after-life! Which is HORRIBLY UNPLEASANT because I really like to talk!! If you embrace the magic of friendship, you just might have a chance against Selax!! But you need to reform now, while there's still time!!
Sincerely, Pinkie Pie
P.S. Don't ask me anymore questions, because I don't want to write anymore. Do you have any idea how hard it is to write with hooves?!?
When Rapierian finished reading, he looked up at the ghost. "I've got to say, I think it's rather lucky for me that you can't talk."
Pinkie Pie threw a balloon at him. Where did she get that balloon? Rapierian wondered. The balloon, however, only made it about halfway to Rapierian and then drifted back and forth as it slowly fell to the floor. Rapierian snickered.
Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes, and the volanic cave faded away around them.
Rapierian, yet again an incorporeal spirit, found himself on a mountain, just outside of a cave. Another Rapierian, an old and wrinkled one, stood at the mouth of the cave, glowering at something. Ghost-Rapierian followed old-Rapierian's gaze down the mountain. At the foot of the mountain was a small village of Cytherans.
The villagers, clearly visible from this vantage point, were bustling about, decorating the village with wreaths and Christmas lights.
Old-Rapierian muttered to himself. "I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?"
He continued glowering for a few moments before his eyes lit up as though he had an idea. He turned and ran back into the cave. Ghost-Rapierian & The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come followed motionlessly.
"Slaves!" called old-Rapierian. "Make me a Santa costume, stat!"
Half-a-dozen undead servants crept out of the shadows and began setting up a sewing machine and rooting through old-Rapierians chests of spare material.
Old-Rapierian left them to their work. "Now, reindeer..." he muttered to himself. "That's harder, as they don't live on Cythera. Hmm..." He wandered down the hallways of the cave.
"What is he doing?" wondered ghost-Rapierian.
Pinkie Pie threw a paper-tub of popcorn at him and motioned to her mouth, looking furious.
"What? You want me to ask you more questions?" asked ghost-Rapierian innocently.
Pinkie Pie pulled a cannon out of nowhere and shot it at ghost-Rapierian. Confetti exploded in his face. "My, temper, temper!" he scolded, brushing ghostly confetti off his shoulders.
Old-Rapierian had disappeared down the passage, but now returned, carrying a wild Wolflizard who was trying desperately to eat him. He set it down, dumped some potion on it that seemed to make it instantly docile, then set about tying a stick (that looked somewhat like an antler) to its head.
Ghost-Rapierian was intrigued, his future-self's plan made no sense whatsoever.
"There!" old-Rapierian declared, when he was satisfied that the stick was adequately secured to the wolflizard's head. "Looks just like a reindeer! Well, close enough. Who around here knows what a reindeer looks like anyway?"
The undead slaves came to him, carrying a furry red coat with white cuffs. Reluctantly, old-Rapierian removed his vial-filled cloak and donned the Santa coat. "It's for the greater good," he mumbled. "Or should I say, 'it's for the greater bad'?" He shrugged. "Ready the Bat-mobile," he instructed the undead slaves.
Old-Rapierian took the wolflizard out to the entrance of the cave, the place where ghost-Rapierian & Pinkie Pie had first seen him. The crew of undead were pulling from around the mountain, a giant red sleigh.
"It's a good thing I happened to have a giant red sleigh lying around," noted old-Rapierian. He harnessed the wolflizard to the sleigh and got in. "Giddyup!" he ordered the wolflizard, and whipped the ground for good measure. The wolflizard took off down the mountain, toward the Christmas-celebrating village...
Time fast-forwarded for the ghosts, and when it stilled, it was quite dark out and the entire village seemed to be asleep. The ghosts floated into one of the dark, slumbering houses, just as old-Rapierian could be heard climbing on the roof above.
The house was filled with Christmas decorations and Christmas presents. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come bounced around, silently pointing out all the decorations. She looked thrilled. Then old-Rapierian came in through the chimney.
Old-Rapierian had a few empty sacks, which he promptly began filling with stockings, presents, Christmas decorations, etc.
"Ahh," said ghost-Rapierian, "he's stealing their Christmas junk! A clever idea, if I do say so myself."
Pinkie Pie gaped at him.
After Old-Rapierian emptied the refrigerator of Christmas feast items, he unplugged the Christmas tree and began stuffing it up the chimney.
"Santy-claus?" Old-Rapierian had been making such a racket with the tree, that he did not notice a very small little girl had approached (perhaps she had been awakened by the racket). "Why are you taking our Christmas tree?"
"Oh," said old-Rapierian, a bit taken aback and not expecting to have to explain his actions. That's okay though, he had planned for this eventuality. "One of the lights on your iTree is broken, I'm going to deliver it to the Apple Store for repairs. It should be back to you in 30-45 business days."
"Did you try replacing the bulb?" asked the little girl. "We have lots of replacement bulbs."
Old-Rapierian scowled. "The problem needs to be diagnosed by a certified Apple technician," he explained. "It's very naughty of you to question Santa - no presents for you this year!" The little girl burst into tears. "Hey, I bet you're thirsty, drink this," said old-Rapierian, handing her a sleeping potion.
The little girl drank the potion, fell asleep on the floor, and old-Rapierian high-tailed it to the next house.
Time fast-forwarded again for the ghosts as old-Rapierian patiently stole the Christmas stuff from all the homes in the village. Finally, as the sun was beginning to rise, old-Rapierian and he sleigh full of loot began their ascent up the mountain to old-Rapierian's cave. This was very hard work for the wolf-lizard, and progress was slow.
Finally, old-Rapierian deigned to give the wolflizard a rest when they reached a flat ledge. Old-Rapierian himself was quite eager to hear the villagers' cries of despair when they realized Christmas was gone. He put his hand to his ear, listening, wondering if they were awake yet.
Yes! He heard something! Wait... that wasn't crying. That was singing.
Ghost-Rapierian heard it too, and shuddered. The villagers were singing some kind of cheerful Christmas carol, it was awful! He put his ghostly hands over his ears, which did no good at all.
"How can this be?" muttered old-Rapierian. "They sound happy. How can they be happy when they've all been robbed? This doesn't make any sense. It can't be because of Christmas, can it? No, it can't be..."
But it was clear to the ghosts that old-Rapierian wasn't so sure.
"What if Christmas wasn't just an annoyance? What if it was something beautiful, something amazing?" pondered old-Rapierian. His entire worldview seemed to be falling down around him.
"Are you crazy?!" exclaimed ghost-Rapierian.
Old-Rapierian made a decision. "Wolflizard, turn around, we're going back to the village!" The wolflizard looked thoroughly exasperated. Old-Rapierian threw another docile-ifying potion at it. "We're going to return what we stole!"
"WHAT? No!" ghost-Rapierian screamed. But Old-Rapierian was already sliding down the hill. Ghost-Rapierian was forced to watch as his future self handed out Christmas gifts to all the villagers, joined them in caroling, and finally served them their Christmas feast.
"He's lost his marbles," murmured ghost-Rapierian. "He's gone completely bonkers. No. No. NO! Noooooooooooooooooo........."
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Music break!)
It's the most wonderful time of the year
When underneath the Tavern
We explore a cavern then return to buy beer!
It's the most wonderful time of the year
It's a brief break from school for Selax
After months of equations and bad applications
He'll finally relax!
We hope you'll use this time to write, Selax!
There'll friends disappearing
As they spend times endearing
With family and friends they well know
There'll be Chronicle stories
And tales of the glories of TSes long, long ago!
It's the most wonderful time of the year
They'll be spammer-bot bans & world takeover plans
And no one's sincere!
It's the most wonderful time
It's the most wonderful time
It's the most wonderful time of the year!
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Act 5: Rapierian's decision.)
For a few moments after Rapierian returned from his third vision, he just lay in bed, trembling with terror over what he had seen. He certainly hadn't expected to see anything so traumatizing.
If he correctly understood the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, then if he did not embrace friendship now, in his old age he would go senile and embrace friendship in the most humiliating & sappy ways. This was what Yomu had meant by him being someday bound to a cruel master - insanity.
So, should he do it now, while he still had control over himself? What would that entail, anyway? He assumed at the very least, he'd have to return the candy that was meant for Avatara & K. He also assumed that poisoning the candy first would negate the effect. Well, he could always give the candy to them and watch in amusement as they assumed the candy was poisoned, when actually it wasn't. That actually might be pretty fun.
It occurred to Rapierian that his motives weren't very friendly, but... meh. What was the fun in being friendly anyway? He resolved to keep on treating people as he always had, but to watch out for Christmas carolers in the future. And if he ever saw Selax again, he'd try throwing a slipper at him.
THE END
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through alt-Cythera
Not a creature was stirring, not even a capybara
The heroes hung their stockings inside the volcano
Hoping for more than a rock or potato
Av & K were nestled all snug in their sleeping bags
Dreaming of Selax, torture, slavery, and rags
While mean old Rapierian needed no sleep
He stayed up and schemed how to be a bigger creep
When from outside the cave there arose such a ruckus
It sounded like someone clanging around in metal buckets
Rapierian ran outside of the cave, fast as Flynn
To find out what was making that awful din
For as far as he knew, this land was barren
And nothing lived there but K, Av, & him
As for his surprise, who could gauge?
For outside his saw his friend Yomu, now called Sage!
And if that wasn't enough, he wasn't alone
Rap would've called for backup, but there was no signal on his phone
Sage directed his minions, each individually
(Though really he got their names wrong, quite abysmally)
"Now Mittens, now Ginger, now Kitty and Tiger!
On Whiskers, on Boots, on Garfield and Biter!
Now to the volcano, on to the secret entrance!
Quickly now, before evil Wizard has his vengeance!"
The small army of cats dashed on ahead
While Rapierian, feeling hungry, ate a piece of bread
He watched as the cats entered a hidden cave
Sage followed, then Athes, carrying a sack like a slave
Rapierian was curious and made the decision
To follow these fellows and provide supervision
Around dark twists & turns Sage and minions walked
Behind them Rapierian silently stalked
Unbeknownst to Athes, his sack had a small hole
From which fell many candies, treats, and one lump of coal
Rapierian hoarded the sweets as they fell to the ground
Now his pockets were bulging and he was looking quite round
At last Sage & minions finally stopped
When they came to the place where the stockings had been propped
Sage took the sack from Athes and began filling
Av & K stockings, which Rapierian found thrilling
For quickly Sage emptied the sack and Rap saw
That his plan had contained a tragic flaw
Now Sage realized the sack was missing a lot
He sent Athes back, and Rapierian would be caught
Was it time now for Rapierian to make his appearance?
Or somehow cause there to be an interference?
A mild explosive he threw from his cloak
But it was really a candy cane he'd grabbed, what a joke
Sage was on to him in no time flat
Pounced he upon him, agile as a cat
"I can see, naughty miscreant, that you haven't reformed
My anger against you is thoroughly warmed
You have selfishly stolen what was meant for your peers
And despite all your misdeeds, you show no fears!"
Rapierian knew what Sage said was true
But felt only amusement all the way through.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Act 1: Yomu's Warning)
Rapierian stood calmly, Sage pushing him against the wall of the cave, ranting about how awful of a person Rapierian was for stealing his companions' Christmas candy.
"You seem very upset," Rapierian observed when Sage stopped for breath, "fascinating."
This comment only seemed to aggravate Sage further. "You don't understand!" he roared. (It was pretty loud, considering how close his face was to Rapierian's ears, with irked Rapierian.) Suddenly Sage seemed to convulse, he was having some kind of seizure. Rapierian pushed him away to insure his own safety. Sage fell to the ground, convulsing for several seconds. After he stopped, he moaned and sat up.
Rapierian stared at him in curiosity. He looked different than he had moments earlier - his face, his eyes, they were different, and familiar. He looked more like the boy Rapierian remembered from the Tree of Life and Terminated quests.
"Yomu?" Rapierian asked uncertainly.
"Hi," said Yomu. It was more of a moan than speech, really.
"Very interesting... I thought you were dead."
"I am dead," agreed Yomu. "At a great deal of personal effort, I have come back, to warn you!"
"I figured Firecat killed you and took over your body," continued Rapierian.
"Yeah, that is pretty-much what happened."
"And yet you've come back? This is most intriguing. As you might know, I'm very interested in the field of reversing death. Though your sentience returning is unfortunate, indeed.."
"Rapierian, listen," said Yomu seriously. "You are in great danger! If you do not change your ways very soon, you will be bound for a similar fate to mine! Confined to these chains, these heavy heavy chains, for all eternity."
"Chains?" Rapierian raised an eyebrow. Yomu wasn't wearing anything remotely like chains.
"Yes, chains!" sighed Yomu. "The chains of imprisonment, never relenting, not one sliver of freedom have I been allowed, until now, and I fear this shall be terribly brief. I too did not understand the meaning of Christmas, I too failed to show love and compassion to my companions, and as a result, I am imprisoned for eternity, slave to a master with less-than-desired motives, with no will of my own..."
"You mean Firecat?" asked Rapierian, growing quite bored of the conversation.
"Aye, that one. You, of course, will be enslaved to a different, even crueler, master. But you also will be bound in heavy chains until the end of the time, with no free will, your every action an agonizing torture."
"What a shame," commented Rapierian disinterestedly.
"You still do not grasp the gravity of the situation," lamented Yomu. "Listen, tonight, this very night, three of my cronies will visit you to convince you of what I have said."
"More dead people?" asked Rapierian with a hint of excitement.
"Aye," said Yomu sadly. "I think I have done all that I can do for you. I hope that after the three conferences with my associates, you will choose to heed my advice."
"I don't even remember what your advice is," said Rapierian honestly.
"To change your ways and show Christmas love to your companions!"
"Oh. Suuuuure..."
"I must be going, I want to see how far I can get before I'm forced back to the Land of the Dead."
"I understand. Hey, I'll walk you out," offered Rapierian.
"Thank you."
Yomu and Rapierian walked back to the volcano's secret entrance, Sage's minions following awkwardly behind. When they reached the entrance, Yomu kept going. "Fare thee well!" He called back to Rapierian.
Rapierian stayed at the entrance a moment, pondering in curiosity the things Yomu had told him. In the distance, he could hear bells jingling. Bells? What was that? It seemed to be coming from the sky. Rapierian looked off to the distance and saw a form in the sky, coming nearer.
The jingling grew louder too, and finally the UFO was close enough to distinguish. It appeared to be a flying sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. And they were descending. Once it got close enough, Rapierian realized that Selax was in the sleigh, but he did not appear to have control over his vehicle.
The reindeer crashed - right on top of Yomu.
After a lot of arranging themselves and Selax shouting at them and stomping on Yomu, the reindeer finally managed to take flight again.
Rapierian watched with interest. A flying sleigh - fascinating. Perhaps he should try that someday...
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Music break! (1 of 2))
Yomu got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our camp, Christmas eve
You can think there's no such thing as Selax
But as for me and Firecat, we believe!
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Music break! (2 of 2))
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
You are not very impressive
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
You're really rather depressive
Ever since the elements died
None of the trees have really thrived
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Your lights set fire to thee :(
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Act 2: The Ghost of Christmas Past)
Alone, Rapierian made his way back to the cave-chamber where he, K, and Avatara had made camp for the night (Sage's minions had wandered off to who-knows-where after Yomu was hit by a reindeer). He didn't really believe that he'd be visited by more dead people (after all, what are the chances?), and he was bored with his schemes at the moment, so he got into his sleeping bag and went to sleep...
"Rapierian."
Rapierian stirred slightly.
"Rapierian."
Rapierian sat up and looked around. Someone had said his name. It was fairly dim in the cave, lit only by some nearby pools of lava, but Rapierian eventually identified the visitor. It seemed to be a not-entirely-corporeal four-legged purple unicorn, who was simply floating in the air.
Rapierian stood up. "You called?" he asked the unicorn-ghost casually.
"Yes. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I am the Ghost of Christmas Past. I am here to teach you about the magic of friendship."
Rapierian rolled his eyes. "I'm going back to bed."
"Not so fast, mister!" said the Ghost of Christmas Past, and her ghostly horn began to glow, and before Rapierian knew it, he and the ghost both teleported away.
Rapierian now was in a forest somewhere. Actually, he was floating above a forest, he had become incorporeal like the unicorn who was now floating beside him.
"So, you're a ghost," said Rapierian.
"That's right," agreed Twilight.
"That means you're dead."
"Yes, I am. Would you like to hear my tragic tale?"
"I don't know... Do you have any popcorn?"
"Afraid not."
"Bummer. Oh all right, I'll listen. This better be a good tragic tale."
The Ghost of Christmas Past looked overall unimpressed with Rapierian's attitude. "Long ago," she begun, "I lived in another world called Equestria. Equestria was a world of ponies - Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns, such as myself. I was a scholar of the magical arts, and I dedicated my life to studying the magic of friendship."
"Bah, humbug!" muttered Rapierian. This wasn't a very good tragic tale.
"Before he lost the ability to void-travel, an evil overlord named Selax came into our world. My friends and I were left to defend it, and with the magic of friendship, we were able to prevent him from completely taking over for many months, before we ultimately succumbed to his terrifying power. He killed us, and we are now banished from the land of mortals, unable to return except on Christmas Eve, when the magic of friendship is exceptionally strong. Even now, I cannot fully return, and remain merely a ghost..."
Rapierian yawned. "So if the magic of friendship didn't do you any good, what's the point?"
This seemed to be a touchy subject for Twilight. "HEY BUDDY, I'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS!" she exploded. Rapierian smiled in amusement. "Now, let's get back to your world," she said. "Have you figured out why I'm called the Ghost of Christmas Past?"
"I found I didn't care," said Rapierian.
"It's because I've taken you to revisit a Christmas from your past," explained Twilight. "Do you recognize this forest?"
Rapierian did, but he did not care to remember it. Against his will, he found that he and the Ghost of Christmas Past were somehow moving, going further and further into the forest. Finally they stopped in a clearing where a group of kids were playing some sort of game. Off to the side, a little boy Rapierian watched them. The young Rapierian was barely recognizable to those who know the adult Rapierian, his appearance was much different. Most notably, the child's large nose emanated red light. The red light flickered, making a faint-but-annoying screeching sound.
As the ghosts watched above, the child Rapierian approached the playing children. "Hey guys," he said shyly. "Can I play? Please?"
"Look everyone!" said one of the little boys. "It's Lightbulb-Nose!" The kids laughed. "He wants to play with us!" More laughter. Little-Rapierian was looking at the ground. "I've got an idea," continued the bully, "why don't we play hide-and-go-seek? You hide, and we'll see how long it takes for someone to see or hear your nose!" More laughter.
"Nevermind," said little-Rapierian, and turned around and ran away.
"The little boy, ostracized by his peers because of a horrendous birth defect," lamented Twilight. "He never again tried to make friends or discover the magic of friendship. Alas! When he grew older, he turned to dark magic to correct the nose defect, but he was never the same..."
"To think, I may have never discovered the joy of dark magic if it weren't for that birth defect!" said Rapierian in horror.
"No no NO!" exclaimed Twilight. "You're supposed to be thinking about what you did miss - friendship!"
"Meh," shrugged Rapierian.
The Ghost of Christmas Past sighed. "I was afraid of this." The forest faded around them as they were teleported back into the volcanic cave. "I'll have to leave you to my friend, the Ghost of Christmas Present. Hopefully she can knock some sense into you!"
With that, the ghost-unicorn disappeared. Rapierian shrugged and sat down to wait for the next ghost.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Music break!)
Deck the halls with leaves of peppermint, fa la la la la la la la la
'Tis the season to scoff at betterment, fa la la la la la la la la
Don we now our metal breastplates, fa la la la la la la la la
To protect us on our ice skates, fa la la la la la la la la
Laugh at lame old Blazing Trails, fa la la la la la la la la
Strike the lyre and sing your tales, fa la la la la la la la la
Telling our story is quite a pleasure, fa la la la la la la la la
A longer tale than Tale of the Treasure, fa la la la la la la la la
Time stands still in this TS, fa la la la la la la la la
So thoughts of the New Year will only depress, fa la la la la la la la la
Rejoice tonight that we're highly honored, fa la la la la la la la la
Heedless that we'll soon be conquered, fa la la la la la la la la!
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Act 3: The Ghost of Christmas Present)
Rapierian must've dozed off, because he was awakened by a very quiet, timid voice.
"um, excuse me..." whispered the voice.
Rapierian found that the speaker (or whisperer) looked similar to the last ghost - incorporeal and pony-like. This one was a yellow pegasus with a pink mane and pink tail. "Are you the Ghost of Christmas Present?" asked Rapierian.
"um, yes, i am... i'm sorry to disturb you..."
"Well, let's get this over with."
"yes, um, of course... sorry..."
The cave around Rapierian and the Ghost of Christmas Present disappeared, and they found themselves floating in an enormous ballroom, full of elegantly dressed people, most of whom were dancing. At the center of the room stood a large, intricately-decorated Christmas tree.
K and Avatara (dressed up of course) were dancing together, until the ballroom doors opened and Yomu Drosselmeyer entered.
"Godfather!" exclaimed K, and ran over to him.
Yomu cringed. "Aren't I younger than you?"
"I dunno, how old are you?" asked K.
"I dunno, how old are you?" Yomu shot back.
"I dunno. Did you bring me a present?"
"As a matter of fact, I did."
K beamed.
"Rapierian!" called Yomu. For the first time, incorporeal-Rapierian noticed the Rapierian present at the party. He was dressed in a disgusting fancy suit. Party-Rapierian bounded over to Yomu cheerfully.
"What is this?" asked incorporeal-Rapierian in disgust.
"um, this is what happened a few hours ago?" The Ghost of Christmas Present whispered.
"In what reality?"
"it, um, happened here. to you. sorry."
Rapierian raised an eyebrow and looked back at the party. Yomu had given K a couple of creepy life-sized dancing dolls, and Rapierian a set of toy soldiers. Then Yomu pulled yet another gift out, a nutcracker. Incorporeal-Rapierian narrowed his eyes, that nutcracker looked an awful lot like Avatara... Who had mysteriously vanished from the party.
Yomu gave the nutcracker to K, who seemed completely enthralled with it. She danced around the room, hugging and adoring the stupid nutcracker. It sickened both Rapierians. Finally party-Rapierian snatched the nutcracker from her arms and started a game of keep-away with the other boys at the party.
Incorporeal-Rapierian chuckled. "Nice one!"
"um," whispered the Ghost of Christmas Present, sounding terrified, "i'm obliged to point out that it wasn't 'nice' at all, it was actually quite mean. sorry."
The boys continued throwing the nutcracker back & forth until party-Rapierian accidentally threw it into the wall and broke it. K cried in despair, while party-Rapierian shrugged.
"you, um, y-you recognize this, right?" whispered the Ghost of Christmas Present.
"Well, except we weren't actually at a fancy party, we were in a volcanic cave, and there wasn't actually a nutcracker, just candy, and I didn't break it, I just hoarded it for myself, and Avatara and K slept through the whole thing, but other then that... yeah, it was completely different."
"oh," she squeaked. "i guess i got some of the details wrong. i'm really sorry." She was lying down in midair, trying to hide behind her hooves.
Down at the party, Yomu Drosselmeyer was now tying a handkerchief around the broken jaw of the nutcracker. K looked somewhat relieved at the solution. She gently lay the nutcracker under the tree. Then the scene seemed to fade, fast forwarding until the ballroom was empty. Then K slipped back in, in her nightgown, and fell asleep under the tree with the nutcracker.
"Somewhat disturbing," noted Rapierian.
"it-it gets more interesting..."
Then the ghosts heard a scurrying sound, and a horde of mice suddenly sprang forth from the shadows and ran toward the Christmas tree. Dozens of toy soldiers on & around the tree came to life and took defensive stances, readying swords and cannons. The nutcracker also came to life, and was silently giving orders to the soldiers.
K, meanwhile, was shrinking.
Rapierian glanced at the Ghost of Christmas Present. "Took just a few liberties, did you?"
The Ghost of Christmas Present was still hiding behind her hooves and shaking uncontrollably. "ju-ju-just a few. i'm trying to show the hardships your companions must face because of your selfish actions."
"I don't get it," confessed Rapierian. "I caused them to become little toys and to be attacked by mice?"
"um.. yes.. something like that."
K (now approximately the size of a toy soldier) had woken up and was frantic about the danger the nutcracker was in. The nutcracker was dueling with the leader of the mouse army, a slightly larger mouse who wore a royal crown. It was pretty obvious that the nutcracker had no chance.
K took off one of her slippers and threw it at the mouse king. The slipper hit him in the head and he fell down, dead.
"Wow!" Rapierian was impressed with the effectiveness of the slipper-throw. "We should try that against Selax!"
The mice were now retreating, dragging the body of their dead king with them. The toy soldiers cheered. The nutcracker no longer looked much like a nutcracker, just a miniature Avatara. He and K boarded a sleigh that had appeared out of nowhere, and took off to... what, another alternate dimension? Rapierian and the Ghost of Christmas Present seemed to be following them.
Shortly, they arrived in Candyland. Some random fairy seemed ecstatic to see Avatara & K, and promptly ordered a bunch of candies, drinks, and miscellaneous other goodies to dance for them.
Rapierian covered his eyes and groaned at all the cheerful dancing performances. "Does anything else happen?" he asked.
"um. well. no. not really."
"I'm out of here," he announced, and turned to leave; but found to his dismay that while he could move his limbs, he couldn't actually propel himself in any direction. "Take me back!" he demanded to the Ghost of Christmas Present.
The Ghost of Christmas Past shook even more violently. "okay," she squeaked.
Immediately, Rapierian (once again corporeal) and the ghost were back in the volcanic-cave-camp.
"thank you. i'm sorry. bye," whispered the Ghost of Christmas Present, and disappeared.
Rapierian glanced Avatara and K, and saw they were still sleeping as soundly as ever.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Music break!)
(Selax's dream)
Dashing through the void,
No humans, elves, nor fay
Over realities I go
Laughing all the way
All who see me scream
I don't care if it's perverse
Oh what find to ride and scheme
How to take over the universe
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Why is voidtravel so noisy and loud?
It's much to my dismay - hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
I will kill who's making all this noise
They must learn to obey
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Act 4: The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come)
Rapierian was torn between horror over the festivities he had been forced to witness, and curiosity about what the third ghost would show him. He hadn't long to wait though, because with a pop, a pink pony ghost appeared beside him. She was very hyper and jumped around Rapierian in circles.
"Knock it off," Rapierian ordered, and the pony ghost stopping circling around him, but continued bouncing in place.
Rapierian had a bad feeling about this ghost.
"Who are you?" he asked.
The pony ghost indicated a name tag sticker on her chest. It read, HELLO, MY NAME IS
Pinkie Pie - The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come!
"So... You're going to show me a Christmas of my future?" reasoned Rapierian. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come nodded vehemently. Then she pulled a piece of paper and a pencil from out of nowhere, and began writing.
She wrote for a very long time. Rapierian nodded off and was awakened when she shoved the paper under his nose. Rapierian accepted it and read,
I am going to show you your fate if you do not change your ways. Without the magic of friendship, you will become more & more cruel & heartless, EVEN on Christmas!!!
Cool! thought Rapierian, and read on,
By the way, my world was conquered by Selax. Not only did he kill me, but he took my most treasured possession, my voice, away from me for all of the after-life! Which is HORRIBLY UNPLEASANT because I really like to talk!! If you embrace the magic of friendship, you just might have a chance against Selax!! But you need to reform now, while there's still time!!
Sincerely, Pinkie Pie
P.S. Don't ask me anymore questions, because I don't want to write anymore. Do you have any idea how hard it is to write with hooves?!?
When Rapierian finished reading, he looked up at the ghost. "I've got to say, I think it's rather lucky for me that you can't talk."
Pinkie Pie threw a balloon at him. Where did she get that balloon? Rapierian wondered. The balloon, however, only made it about halfway to Rapierian and then drifted back and forth as it slowly fell to the floor. Rapierian snickered.
Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes, and the volanic cave faded away around them.
Rapierian, yet again an incorporeal spirit, found himself on a mountain, just outside of a cave. Another Rapierian, an old and wrinkled one, stood at the mouth of the cave, glowering at something. Ghost-Rapierian followed old-Rapierian's gaze down the mountain. At the foot of the mountain was a small village of Cytherans.
The villagers, clearly visible from this vantage point, were bustling about, decorating the village with wreaths and Christmas lights.
Old-Rapierian muttered to himself. "I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?"
He continued glowering for a few moments before his eyes lit up as though he had an idea. He turned and ran back into the cave. Ghost-Rapierian & The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come followed motionlessly.
"Slaves!" called old-Rapierian. "Make me a Santa costume, stat!"
Half-a-dozen undead servants crept out of the shadows and began setting up a sewing machine and rooting through old-Rapierians chests of spare material.
Old-Rapierian left them to their work. "Now, reindeer..." he muttered to himself. "That's harder, as they don't live on Cythera. Hmm..." He wandered down the hallways of the cave.
"What is he doing?" wondered ghost-Rapierian.
Pinkie Pie threw a paper-tub of popcorn at him and motioned to her mouth, looking furious.
"What? You want me to ask you more questions?" asked ghost-Rapierian innocently.
Pinkie Pie pulled a cannon out of nowhere and shot it at ghost-Rapierian. Confetti exploded in his face. "My, temper, temper!" he scolded, brushing ghostly confetti off his shoulders.
Old-Rapierian had disappeared down the passage, but now returned, carrying a wild Wolflizard who was trying desperately to eat him. He set it down, dumped some potion on it that seemed to make it instantly docile, then set about tying a stick (that looked somewhat like an antler) to its head.
Ghost-Rapierian was intrigued, his future-self's plan made no sense whatsoever.
"There!" old-Rapierian declared, when he was satisfied that the stick was adequately secured to the wolflizard's head. "Looks just like a reindeer! Well, close enough. Who around here knows what a reindeer looks like anyway?"
The undead slaves came to him, carrying a furry red coat with white cuffs. Reluctantly, old-Rapierian removed his vial-filled cloak and donned the Santa coat. "It's for the greater good," he mumbled. "Or should I say, 'it's for the greater bad'?" He shrugged. "Ready the Bat-mobile," he instructed the undead slaves.
Old-Rapierian took the wolflizard out to the entrance of the cave, the place where ghost-Rapierian & Pinkie Pie had first seen him. The crew of undead were pulling from around the mountain, a giant red sleigh.
"It's a good thing I happened to have a giant red sleigh lying around," noted old-Rapierian. He harnessed the wolflizard to the sleigh and got in. "Giddyup!" he ordered the wolflizard, and whipped the ground for good measure. The wolflizard took off down the mountain, toward the Christmas-celebrating village...
Time fast-forwarded for the ghosts, and when it stilled, it was quite dark out and the entire village seemed to be asleep. The ghosts floated into one of the dark, slumbering houses, just as old-Rapierian could be heard climbing on the roof above.
The house was filled with Christmas decorations and Christmas presents. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come bounced around, silently pointing out all the decorations. She looked thrilled. Then old-Rapierian came in through the chimney.
Old-Rapierian had a few empty sacks, which he promptly began filling with stockings, presents, Christmas decorations, etc.
"Ahh," said ghost-Rapierian, "he's stealing their Christmas junk! A clever idea, if I do say so myself."
Pinkie Pie gaped at him.
After Old-Rapierian emptied the refrigerator of Christmas feast items, he unplugged the Christmas tree and began stuffing it up the chimney.
"Santy-claus?" Old-Rapierian had been making such a racket with the tree, that he did not notice a very small little girl had approached (perhaps she had been awakened by the racket). "Why are you taking our Christmas tree?"
"Oh," said old-Rapierian, a bit taken aback and not expecting to have to explain his actions. That's okay though, he had planned for this eventuality. "One of the lights on your iTree is broken, I'm going to deliver it to the Apple Store for repairs. It should be back to you in 30-45 business days."
"Did you try replacing the bulb?" asked the little girl. "We have lots of replacement bulbs."
Old-Rapierian scowled. "The problem needs to be diagnosed by a certified Apple technician," he explained. "It's very naughty of you to question Santa - no presents for you this year!" The little girl burst into tears. "Hey, I bet you're thirsty, drink this," said old-Rapierian, handing her a sleeping potion.
The little girl drank the potion, fell asleep on the floor, and old-Rapierian high-tailed it to the next house.
Time fast-forwarded again for the ghosts as old-Rapierian patiently stole the Christmas stuff from all the homes in the village. Finally, as the sun was beginning to rise, old-Rapierian and he sleigh full of loot began their ascent up the mountain to old-Rapierian's cave. This was very hard work for the wolf-lizard, and progress was slow.
Finally, old-Rapierian deigned to give the wolflizard a rest when they reached a flat ledge. Old-Rapierian himself was quite eager to hear the villagers' cries of despair when they realized Christmas was gone. He put his hand to his ear, listening, wondering if they were awake yet.
Yes! He heard something! Wait... that wasn't crying. That was singing.
Ghost-Rapierian heard it too, and shuddered. The villagers were singing some kind of cheerful Christmas carol, it was awful! He put his ghostly hands over his ears, which did no good at all.
"How can this be?" muttered old-Rapierian. "They sound happy. How can they be happy when they've all been robbed? This doesn't make any sense. It can't be because of Christmas, can it? No, it can't be..."
But it was clear to the ghosts that old-Rapierian wasn't so sure.
"What if Christmas wasn't just an annoyance? What if it was something beautiful, something amazing?" pondered old-Rapierian. His entire worldview seemed to be falling down around him.
"Are you crazy?!" exclaimed ghost-Rapierian.
Old-Rapierian made a decision. "Wolflizard, turn around, we're going back to the village!" The wolflizard looked thoroughly exasperated. Old-Rapierian threw another docile-ifying potion at it. "We're going to return what we stole!"
"WHAT? No!" ghost-Rapierian screamed. But Old-Rapierian was already sliding down the hill. Ghost-Rapierian was forced to watch as his future self handed out Christmas gifts to all the villagers, joined them in caroling, and finally served them their Christmas feast.
"He's lost his marbles," murmured ghost-Rapierian. "He's gone completely bonkers. No. No. NO! Noooooooooooooooooo........."
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Music break!)
It's the most wonderful time of the year
When underneath the Tavern
We explore a cavern then return to buy beer!
It's the most wonderful time of the year
It's a brief break from school for Selax
After months of equations and bad applications
He'll finally relax!
We hope you'll use this time to write, Selax!
There'll friends disappearing
As they spend times endearing
With family and friends they well know
There'll be Chronicle stories
And tales of the glories of TSes long, long ago!
It's the most wonderful time of the year
They'll be spammer-bot bans & world takeover plans
And no one's sincere!
It's the most wonderful time
It's the most wonderful time
It's the most wonderful time of the year!
- - - - - - - - - - - -
(Act 5: Rapierian's decision.)
For a few moments after Rapierian returned from his third vision, he just lay in bed, trembling with terror over what he had seen. He certainly hadn't expected to see anything so traumatizing.
If he correctly understood the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, then if he did not embrace friendship now, in his old age he would go senile and embrace friendship in the most humiliating & sappy ways. This was what Yomu had meant by him being someday bound to a cruel master - insanity.
So, should he do it now, while he still had control over himself? What would that entail, anyway? He assumed at the very least, he'd have to return the candy that was meant for Avatara & K. He also assumed that poisoning the candy first would negate the effect. Well, he could always give the candy to them and watch in amusement as they assumed the candy was poisoned, when actually it wasn't. That actually might be pretty fun.
It occurred to Rapierian that his motives weren't very friendly, but... meh. What was the fun in being friendly anyway? He resolved to keep on treating people as he always had, but to watch out for Christmas carolers in the future. And if he ever saw Selax again, he'd try throwing a slipper at him.
THE END
I'll become even more undignified than this
#78
- Lord Rapierian of the Sith
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Posted 26 December 2013 - 08:11 PM
Actually, Rapierian would probably come up with some of plan to blow up his older counterpart...along with everyone else 
.
Also, now I need to do a saved game where Bellerophon takes all the kids in Cythera to see Alaric...
.Also, now I need to do a saved game where Bellerophon takes all the kids in Cythera to see Alaric...
#79
- lazy harp seal
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- Location:down under
Posted 29 January 2014 - 05:11 PM
I re-discovered a few poems loosely based off certain DM posts. I wrote them for my poetry class in Dec 2011, but I don't think I posted them at the time because they fall more on the side of being poetic than a literal (easily understandable) adaptation. Nevertheless, here they are.
"The Life of K" (Reunion)
Second chances, breaking thru the meniscus of poems, water dripping
wet, my hair, blue
Sunlight burn turning silver blind you on the shoreline but I
am not, her a memory in graphite smudges or scorchmarks
Handfuls of mist hurled at yr wrist, yr collarbone you never
took me seriously wash away smudge marks
Poetry swimming at some point you have to put your head under learn
to breathe thru water &, reemerge, kelp nymph
Fragile paper cranes the days we spent together but never
nights (were you happy when
Seaweed or
"Outlands" (Outside Cademia)
If I speak give you a thousand tales you would
Hovering in shallow forest canopy taller than eyes my feet
rooted beyond the city silent crumble
Our history together a paper crane flutters
Waiting thru breezes thru forest currents brush your skin and my
Waiting seaweed I drift
From the city we are lines, one dimensional, kelp stems among trees, cranes caught
windtossed
Shoal of unspoken, heaps
"Cranes" (Abandoned Building)
In this dusty collapsing house, one corner caved in from years & rain
The damp turns dust to black grime like burn marks I try futilely to wipe away &
this corner stands testament
Wood splinters & remnants of tenants disintegrating, settling, all returns
to dust
Repress air
Shadows flicker from the window kelp ghosts unmoored & agitated
their lost anchors
Peer through the missing roof see silhouettes of cranes that never stray far
from my silence
"The Life of K" (Reunion)
Second chances, breaking thru the meniscus of poems, water dripping
wet, my hair, blue
Sunlight burn turning silver blind you on the shoreline but I
am not, her a memory in graphite smudges or scorchmarks
Handfuls of mist hurled at yr wrist, yr collarbone you never
took me seriously wash away smudge marks
Poetry swimming at some point you have to put your head under learn
to breathe thru water &, reemerge, kelp nymph
Fragile paper cranes the days we spent together but never
nights (were you happy when
Seaweed or
"Outlands" (Outside Cademia)
If I speak give you a thousand tales you would
Hovering in shallow forest canopy taller than eyes my feet
rooted beyond the city silent crumble
Our history together a paper crane flutters
Waiting thru breezes thru forest currents brush your skin and my
Waiting seaweed I drift
From the city we are lines, one dimensional, kelp stems among trees, cranes caught
windtossed
Shoal of unspoken, heaps
"Cranes" (Abandoned Building)
In this dusty collapsing house, one corner caved in from years & rain
The damp turns dust to black grime like burn marks I try futilely to wipe away &
this corner stands testament
Wood splinters & remnants of tenants disintegrating, settling, all returns
to dust
Repress air
Shadows flicker from the window kelp ghosts unmoored & agitated
their lost anchors
Peer through the missing roof see silhouettes of cranes that never stray far
from my silence
#80
- internet poet
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Posted 30 January 2014 - 04:02 AM
METAPHORICAL MIRROR, the big red-painted letters above the door read. The restaurant with the odd name opened up onto a river-side. Katerei hoped it had a nice atmosphere inside. This day was a rather important day, and she needed everything to be perfect for it to go as planned.
Avatara walked at an awkward distance along-side her. They had such a rich history together but he didn't know whether he should hold her hand or anything. This was a rather important day, and he didn't want anything going wrong and throwing off his plans.
The two walked up to the double glass doors, but they did so at the same time. Katerei went to open her door, but Avatara remembered he should be a gentleman, and so tried to open her door before she could. Instead he bumped into her hand with a non-bone crunching sound. "Oh.." She said surprised, stepping back to give him enough room to move aside so she could now go around him. Avatara tried to play off the botched gesture with a smile, but alas, she made no eye contact. Hella awkward yo.
Katerei gazed around the restaurant. At the podium was a slender, tall man with fiery hair and cats eye contacts. Besides for him, the restaurant was mostly empty, say for one woman in the corner with a pack of children about her. When their eyes met, the woman shrunk back behind her menu, giggling.
Avatara strode up to the podium to get a table. "May I help you?" The man whispered playfully.
"I need a table." demanded Avatara in an uncharacteristic fashion.
"Need? That's a quite a strong word. Are you sure you don't just want a table?"
"Um, sure. Can I just have a table for two?"
"I don't see why not, but could you though?"
Kater took Av's hand, "We'll sit over here."
"Very well then!" The man said with a salute.
Katerei found a booth by the window and sat across from her date. The man who 'seated' them was also the waiter, for convenience, and brought them water, plates and menus. Kater browsed the menu but food was the last thing on her mind. So many years had birthed so many memories, good and bad. Light and dark. Mirrors and reflections. She wondered what it all meant, where it was going, what he felt, if she knew what she felt, if that was real, what would happen, what could she do, what was for desert. It confounded her.
Avatara moved his bitchin' hair to the side. Kat blushed blue and turned away. Av knew he had sweet moves but he didn't want to make this date too physical. That aspect had 'gotten in the way' before with their relationship, and while it was nice to get some blue, it seemed to only complicate and obscure the truth of things. For now, he kept his mad swag in the bag.
He began to speak his mind (finally) but then Katerei was about to speak, so he stopped, but then she stopped because she thought he was going to speak. It was awkward again. Before the ice could be broken the chef appeared at their table. On his coat the name 'Sealax' was embroidered fancifully.
"Greetings travelers. I hope you're hungry, for I have MANY a thing to cook for you. Not all on the menu, can't have anything be spoiled. Oh! Food pun haha." The chef said gingerly. Get it? Gingerly! He's a chef, anyways...
"I think we still need a minute." Av said to the man.
Silverfish circled high above the restaurant, just chillin'.
"Perfect!" The chef went on, "I have this whole dinner planned out. Just you wait you'll see! It's gonna be great! Appatizers, 60 of 'em! Main courses! Twice as many! I WILL BURY YOU IN DESERT. You don't realize, but I've been working on these recipes and their presentation for years," Sealax leaned in uncomfortably close to the soft valley that is Avatara's ear and whispered, "yeeeeaaaarrrsssssssssssss" once more, with extra s's.
Before Avatara's spine could stop sending tremulous chills through his body, the chef ran back into the kitchen laughing maniacally. The two on the date went back to looking around the restaurant, not knowing how to proceed when it comes to conversation. The waiter had begun to help another customer, the two immediately recognized him as that poor lout Yomu. Luckily he left before he noticed them, cause that would have been awkward, and they had enough of that spice for daaaays.
Afterward the waiter went and talked to the woman with the heard of children. Their conversation seemed very intense, and throughout all of it the woman and waiter kept pointing at Kat's booth, then disappearing behind her menu with more giggles.
The waiter strolled by once more. "How is everything?"
"Fine." Avatara said.
"Really?" The waiter said with a sick look on his face.
"Um, yes?"
"Can one ever truly know if all is fine or not? Even I dare not to boast myself that much."
"Can I just get more water?"
"No, I have to do it." The waiter said walking off.
Avatara groaned. This was going terribly. He just needed to tell Kat, then it would work out. If he just got it out there, everything would be fine. He built up his courage and found his words. It was time to put himself on the line. He opened his mouth ready to proclaim his love, only to have an explosion mute his words.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Yomu screamed through the smoke. He was fighting a giant beast, and losing, per usual. The beast took him by the arm and flung him away. Broken and bloody the seemingly masochistic man limped over to the two's table.
"Wuz happnin mah nugs?" he panted. "Y'all ona date or sum shiz? Richeous."
Av blushed. Kat blushed. It was the 3D-Glasses of blushing. Av manged to get out a strained, "Uhhhhhh-" before Yomu cut him
off.
"Aite now yal nugs litsen up cuz did shiz abut ta get hevy, sun. Dear a book rite? Is fluggin biiiiig, dawg. Friggin hanus. If we don put a cap in da donkey of dis heuh necromandarin or watevs it gon b mega-bam-bam to the J-stop, ya f;eel me?"
Katerei sighed: a sigh for all spelling and patience. All she wanted to do was talk to Av. You know, maybe get some kind of resolution. Is that too much to ask? Some peace? Who knows what could happened if they just ran off on to another TS. They were already technically in one anyways. The answer for Katerei was no, the answer for the beast was yes; in the form of knocking Yomu through another wall.
With all the other distractions gone Katerei took Av by the hand, determined to finally get rid of all this damn repressed tension. Only to have it ruined by the Chef. He throttled the table, gasping for breath. His hat was on fire and their were questionable stains all over his coat. Barely making sense he grabbed them by the shoulder, and told them that he had done it, finally done it, and that now he could surpass iron-chef status, and even master-chef status, and thus become... GOD-CHEF. Suck it, Ramsey.
He disappeared back into the kitchen. Leaving a few broken bread sticks behind. Katerei looked around for the other woman, and managed to catch a glimpse of her as she was crowd surfed out of the restaurant by her plentiful supply of half-lings.
The two sat in silence. The waiter seemed to be missing as well. They were alone. They nibbled at the stale bread sticks and occasionally exchanged a glance.
A long moment of silence passed before Avatara sighed. "I don't know why this always happens when we hang out."
Katerei laughed, "I know. Things sure are crazy where we're concerned."
Av looked away at that remark, and Katerei realized she had gotten the ball rolling. "Look," She continued, "I think we both know why we're here."
"Yeah." He stopped looking out the window, turned and looked into her deep blue eyes he had always found so beautiful. "We know." He leaned across the table (bad idea) and kissed her. It was brief and awkward, but she still let him do it. He broke his lips from hers and stepped out of the table, pulling her hand. She bumped into his chest and looked up to him. His eyes were fire, and she could see what he wanted in them: her. They embraced and got fresh for a while. It wasn't like they were gonna get freaky at a restaurant though.
Outside the door, they stood wondering which way to go. For all intents and purposes they had accomplished what they came her for, only... There was no unbridled joy, or longing sense of regret. Now as they walked holding hands, it was simply that, holding hands. They looked head, each in their own head, wondering if they'd work it out in the next TS.
THE END
?
Meanwhile back at METAPHORICAL MIRROR...
"I'VE DONE IT!!!" Sealax burst from the kitchen door, glowing vibrantly with every color of the rainbow+1! "I HAVE ACHIEVED A NEW LEVEL OF BEING, I AM... GOD-CHEF!!" His arms held high, Sealax waited for the shock and aw of his peers, only to hear nothing... "Guys?" He said looking around in his radiance. "... guys? :(/>"
Many years later...
The windows boarded up, and a big "CONDEMNED" sticker slapped on the door. META ORIAL ROR stood as a shell of its former greatness. Apparently it went out of business because the owner (a strange waiter) never actually sold any food, instead talking to his guests to madness through riddles.
Now, no one goes to the restaurant, only something was forgotten...
A cloud of dust rose violently from the door that fell off its rusted hinges when opened. The latter part of a flush sound could be heard as an old man walked out, adjusting his robes. "Phew!" said Wizard, "Y'all might not want to go in there for a fortnight!" Wizard looked around at the empty hovel he found himself in. "Gosh darn it, not again.” he sighed, “I forgot to wash my hands!" He grumbled, walking back into the bathroom.
------------------------
Thanks for reading! I hope you were able to enjoy it! Haha
Avatara walked at an awkward distance along-side her. They had such a rich history together but he didn't know whether he should hold her hand or anything. This was a rather important day, and he didn't want anything going wrong and throwing off his plans.
The two walked up to the double glass doors, but they did so at the same time. Katerei went to open her door, but Avatara remembered he should be a gentleman, and so tried to open her door before she could. Instead he bumped into her hand with a non-bone crunching sound. "Oh.." She said surprised, stepping back to give him enough room to move aside so she could now go around him. Avatara tried to play off the botched gesture with a smile, but alas, she made no eye contact. Hella awkward yo.
Katerei gazed around the restaurant. At the podium was a slender, tall man with fiery hair and cats eye contacts. Besides for him, the restaurant was mostly empty, say for one woman in the corner with a pack of children about her. When their eyes met, the woman shrunk back behind her menu, giggling.
Avatara strode up to the podium to get a table. "May I help you?" The man whispered playfully.
"I need a table." demanded Avatara in an uncharacteristic fashion.
"Need? That's a quite a strong word. Are you sure you don't just want a table?"
"Um, sure. Can I just have a table for two?"
"I don't see why not, but could you though?"
Kater took Av's hand, "We'll sit over here."
"Very well then!" The man said with a salute.
Katerei found a booth by the window and sat across from her date. The man who 'seated' them was also the waiter, for convenience, and brought them water, plates and menus. Kater browsed the menu but food was the last thing on her mind. So many years had birthed so many memories, good and bad. Light and dark. Mirrors and reflections. She wondered what it all meant, where it was going, what he felt, if she knew what she felt, if that was real, what would happen, what could she do, what was for desert. It confounded her.
Avatara moved his bitchin' hair to the side. Kat blushed blue and turned away. Av knew he had sweet moves but he didn't want to make this date too physical. That aspect had 'gotten in the way' before with their relationship, and while it was nice to get some blue, it seemed to only complicate and obscure the truth of things. For now, he kept his mad swag in the bag.
He began to speak his mind (finally) but then Katerei was about to speak, so he stopped, but then she stopped because she thought he was going to speak. It was awkward again. Before the ice could be broken the chef appeared at their table. On his coat the name 'Sealax' was embroidered fancifully.
"Greetings travelers. I hope you're hungry, for I have MANY a thing to cook for you. Not all on the menu, can't have anything be spoiled. Oh! Food pun haha." The chef said gingerly. Get it? Gingerly! He's a chef, anyways...
"I think we still need a minute." Av said to the man.
Silverfish circled high above the restaurant, just chillin'.
"Perfect!" The chef went on, "I have this whole dinner planned out. Just you wait you'll see! It's gonna be great! Appatizers, 60 of 'em! Main courses! Twice as many! I WILL BURY YOU IN DESERT. You don't realize, but I've been working on these recipes and their presentation for years," Sealax leaned in uncomfortably close to the soft valley that is Avatara's ear and whispered, "yeeeeaaaarrrsssssssssssss" once more, with extra s's.
Before Avatara's spine could stop sending tremulous chills through his body, the chef ran back into the kitchen laughing maniacally. The two on the date went back to looking around the restaurant, not knowing how to proceed when it comes to conversation. The waiter had begun to help another customer, the two immediately recognized him as that poor lout Yomu. Luckily he left before he noticed them, cause that would have been awkward, and they had enough of that spice for daaaays.
Afterward the waiter went and talked to the woman with the heard of children. Their conversation seemed very intense, and throughout all of it the woman and waiter kept pointing at Kat's booth, then disappearing behind her menu with more giggles.
The waiter strolled by once more. "How is everything?"
"Fine." Avatara said.
"Really?" The waiter said with a sick look on his face.
"Um, yes?"
"Can one ever truly know if all is fine or not? Even I dare not to boast myself that much."
"Can I just get more water?"
"No, I have to do it." The waiter said walking off.
Avatara groaned. This was going terribly. He just needed to tell Kat, then it would work out. If he just got it out there, everything would be fine. He built up his courage and found his words. It was time to put himself on the line. He opened his mouth ready to proclaim his love, only to have an explosion mute his words.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Yomu screamed through the smoke. He was fighting a giant beast, and losing, per usual. The beast took him by the arm and flung him away. Broken and bloody the seemingly masochistic man limped over to the two's table.
"Wuz happnin mah nugs?" he panted. "Y'all ona date or sum shiz? Richeous."
Av blushed. Kat blushed. It was the 3D-Glasses of blushing. Av manged to get out a strained, "Uhhhhhh-" before Yomu cut him
off.
"Aite now yal nugs litsen up cuz did shiz abut ta get hevy, sun. Dear a book rite? Is fluggin biiiiig, dawg. Friggin hanus. If we don put a cap in da donkey of dis heuh necromandarin or watevs it gon b mega-bam-bam to the J-stop, ya f;eel me?"
Katerei sighed: a sigh for all spelling and patience. All she wanted to do was talk to Av. You know, maybe get some kind of resolution. Is that too much to ask? Some peace? Who knows what could happened if they just ran off on to another TS. They were already technically in one anyways. The answer for Katerei was no, the answer for the beast was yes; in the form of knocking Yomu through another wall.
With all the other distractions gone Katerei took Av by the hand, determined to finally get rid of all this damn repressed tension. Only to have it ruined by the Chef. He throttled the table, gasping for breath. His hat was on fire and their were questionable stains all over his coat. Barely making sense he grabbed them by the shoulder, and told them that he had done it, finally done it, and that now he could surpass iron-chef status, and even master-chef status, and thus become... GOD-CHEF. Suck it, Ramsey.
He disappeared back into the kitchen. Leaving a few broken bread sticks behind. Katerei looked around for the other woman, and managed to catch a glimpse of her as she was crowd surfed out of the restaurant by her plentiful supply of half-lings.
The two sat in silence. The waiter seemed to be missing as well. They were alone. They nibbled at the stale bread sticks and occasionally exchanged a glance.
A long moment of silence passed before Avatara sighed. "I don't know why this always happens when we hang out."
Katerei laughed, "I know. Things sure are crazy where we're concerned."
Av looked away at that remark, and Katerei realized she had gotten the ball rolling. "Look," She continued, "I think we both know why we're here."
"Yeah." He stopped looking out the window, turned and looked into her deep blue eyes he had always found so beautiful. "We know." He leaned across the table (bad idea) and kissed her. It was brief and awkward, but she still let him do it. He broke his lips from hers and stepped out of the table, pulling her hand. She bumped into his chest and looked up to him. His eyes were fire, and she could see what he wanted in them: her. They embraced and got fresh for a while. It wasn't like they were gonna get freaky at a restaurant though.
Outside the door, they stood wondering which way to go. For all intents and purposes they had accomplished what they came her for, only... There was no unbridled joy, or longing sense of regret. Now as they walked holding hands, it was simply that, holding hands. They looked head, each in their own head, wondering if they'd work it out in the next TS.
THE END
?
Meanwhile back at METAPHORICAL MIRROR...
"I'VE DONE IT!!!" Sealax burst from the kitchen door, glowing vibrantly with every color of the rainbow+1! "I HAVE ACHIEVED A NEW LEVEL OF BEING, I AM... GOD-CHEF!!" His arms held high, Sealax waited for the shock and aw of his peers, only to hear nothing... "Guys?" He said looking around in his radiance. "... guys? :(/>"
Many years later...
The windows boarded up, and a big "CONDEMNED" sticker slapped on the door. META ORIAL ROR stood as a shell of its former greatness. Apparently it went out of business because the owner (a strange waiter) never actually sold any food, instead talking to his guests to madness through riddles.
Now, no one goes to the restaurant, only something was forgotten...
A cloud of dust rose violently from the door that fell off its rusted hinges when opened. The latter part of a flush sound could be heard as an old man walked out, adjusting his robes. "Phew!" said Wizard, "Y'all might not want to go in there for a fortnight!" Wizard looked around at the empty hovel he found himself in. "Gosh darn it, not again.” he sighed, “I forgot to wash my hands!" He grumbled, walking back into the bathroom.
------------------------
Thanks for reading! I hope you were able to enjoy it! Haha
#81
- Minion #453
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Posted 30 January 2014 - 07:46 PM
Nezmy, you are a genius! That was quite fun to read :D & "I WILL BURY YOU IN DESERT." lol. Couldn't be funnier if "dessert" was spelled correctly! :D
Edit: Forgot to say, thank you for writing it!
Edit: Forgot to say, thank you for writing it!
This post has been edited by BreadWorldMercy453: 30 January 2014 - 07:54 PM
I'll become even more undignified than this
#83
- lazy harp seal
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- Gender:Female
- Location:down under
Posted 05 February 2014 - 04:13 PM
Since I've been posting old files, I thought this would be fun. I hid most of the hair layers on my illustration of Katerei so that you can see her entire face unobscured.
Ignore how weird her hair looks now. You'd look weird too if most of your hair went missing.
Ignore how weird her hair looks now. You'd look weird too if most of your hair went missing.
#85
- Minion #453
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- Group: Members
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- Joined: 02-October 05
- Gender:Not Telling
Posted 14 February 2014 - 11:38 AM
This "fanfic" isn't based on the current TSes, but on The Trial & Hym. It's also not a story, just a bit of a scene, taking place some time after those chronicles. I wanted to write a story, but I'm lazy, so I didn't; & I thought I ought to post something on Valentine's Day anyway. I want to note that I don't have Tyry's permission to use Adriana, and neither he nor Kat have approved this fanfic, and I do not consider this to be canon.
--------------------
I was bandaging a student who was attacked by a fellow student's beer elemental, when I heard about Protesilaus & Niobe's probable betrothal. Protesilaus was across the infirmary, tending to another injured student (those beer elementals are dangerous, yo). & Niobe came in with drinks.
As always, I tried to ignore their goofy smiles at each other, holding each other's hands, how they keep looking at each other. I minded my own business. I tended my patient. Protesilaus and Niobe faced each other, holding both hands, as if it was some great moment. But it wasn't. They always do this. It's disgusting. He loves someone who loves him, and she loves someone who loves her. They'll probably live happily ever after. Probably they'll never be separated by distance. Probably no one will ever murder either of them. Probably they'll get married. Probably no one will be assassinated at their wedding. Probably no heartless murderers will use the chaos to break out of prison.
"I don't know if I'll get to see you tonight," said Protesilaus to Niobe. "I need to talk to your father."
Niobe said something along the lines of, "squee!"
"So, if I don't see you until tomorrow, I'll miss you."
"Miss ya too..."
I tried to keep professional. I refrained from rolling my eyes. Finally Niobe left and Protesilaus resumed caring for his patient. I wanted to tell him off for being interrupted, but it wouldn't be appropriate to bring it up in front of the patients. Maybe later.
--------------------
I'm glad the next day was my day off, as this meant I wasn't around when Protesilaus & Niobe made their engagement announcement. As usual, I used my day off to visit Menelaus' flower garden.
While tending the garden, my thoughts wandered to the announcement I was missing. Protesilaus' & Niobe's relationship is awkward for me. I consider Protesilaus my friend. We've worked together in the Magisterium infirmary for years (though Protesilaus has technically finished his VS term & could choose to pursue freemage studies, he doesn't seem interested), and we get along together well. Niobe, on the other hand, doesn't like me. She's kind of annoying too. It's like she's happy all the time. But not in a good way. "She's not like you," I said out loud.
Menelaus didn't lack composure like Niobe. It wasn't that he was constantly happy, but that his presence made things better. He brought happiness to others when they didn't expect it. I try to be like him, but I rely on music & plants to lift people's spirits, I'm not so good with words.
What happened to Menelaus is a tragedy that I don't think I can ever forgive. Not only was he killed in cold blood, but his life's work was burned to the ground. I believe that, though Menelaus dropped out of the Magesterium & never did VS, he would have been made a Master if he had had a chance to finish his studies & submit his thesis. I think his work would have been a great asset to the field of alchemy, and now it was all for naught.
And Menelaus is gone.
I finished taking care of the flowers for today and put away my gardening supplies. It was time to head back to Pnyx, and to rejoice with Protesilaus & Niobe.
"You were a good friend," I told Menelaus' memory. "I miss you."
--------------------
I was bandaging a student who was attacked by a fellow student's beer elemental, when I heard about Protesilaus & Niobe's probable betrothal. Protesilaus was across the infirmary, tending to another injured student (those beer elementals are dangerous, yo). & Niobe came in with drinks.
As always, I tried to ignore their goofy smiles at each other, holding each other's hands, how they keep looking at each other. I minded my own business. I tended my patient. Protesilaus and Niobe faced each other, holding both hands, as if it was some great moment. But it wasn't. They always do this. It's disgusting. He loves someone who loves him, and she loves someone who loves her. They'll probably live happily ever after. Probably they'll never be separated by distance. Probably no one will ever murder either of them. Probably they'll get married. Probably no one will be assassinated at their wedding. Probably no heartless murderers will use the chaos to break out of prison.
"I don't know if I'll get to see you tonight," said Protesilaus to Niobe. "I need to talk to your father."
Niobe said something along the lines of, "squee!"
"So, if I don't see you until tomorrow, I'll miss you."
"Miss ya too..."
I tried to keep professional. I refrained from rolling my eyes. Finally Niobe left and Protesilaus resumed caring for his patient. I wanted to tell him off for being interrupted, but it wouldn't be appropriate to bring it up in front of the patients. Maybe later.
--------------------
I'm glad the next day was my day off, as this meant I wasn't around when Protesilaus & Niobe made their engagement announcement. As usual, I used my day off to visit Menelaus' flower garden.
While tending the garden, my thoughts wandered to the announcement I was missing. Protesilaus' & Niobe's relationship is awkward for me. I consider Protesilaus my friend. We've worked together in the Magisterium infirmary for years (though Protesilaus has technically finished his VS term & could choose to pursue freemage studies, he doesn't seem interested), and we get along together well. Niobe, on the other hand, doesn't like me. She's kind of annoying too. It's like she's happy all the time. But not in a good way. "She's not like you," I said out loud.
Menelaus didn't lack composure like Niobe. It wasn't that he was constantly happy, but that his presence made things better. He brought happiness to others when they didn't expect it. I try to be like him, but I rely on music & plants to lift people's spirits, I'm not so good with words.
What happened to Menelaus is a tragedy that I don't think I can ever forgive. Not only was he killed in cold blood, but his life's work was burned to the ground. I believe that, though Menelaus dropped out of the Magesterium & never did VS, he would have been made a Master if he had had a chance to finish his studies & submit his thesis. I think his work would have been a great asset to the field of alchemy, and now it was all for naught.
And Menelaus is gone.
I finished taking care of the flowers for today and put away my gardening supplies. It was time to head back to Pnyx, and to rejoice with Protesilaus & Niobe.
"You were a good friend," I told Menelaus' memory. "I miss you."
I'll become even more undignified than this
#86
- Lord Rapierian of the Sith
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Posted 15 March 2014 - 06:08 PM
Hmm, quite a few things on here since I last commented. Quite a variety of material as well.
Excellent work, all, as usual…although I think I might have to consider banning TwoJacks.../>
Since Avatara provided a soundtrack for DM, someone should try to come up with a soundtrack for OoR (so far as it has gotten anyway). For that matter, I'm somewhat curious what sort of soundtracks other members think suited DM.
Excellent work, all, as usual…although I think I might have to consider banning TwoJacks...
/>Since Avatara provided a soundtrack for DM, someone should try to come up with a soundtrack for OoR (so far as it has gotten anyway). For that matter, I'm somewhat curious what sort of soundtracks other members think suited DM.
#87
- lazy harp seal
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Posted 03 June 2014 - 01:48 PM
Avatara complained that I keep reworking old art instead of making anything new. So, here's a picture of Iannah. Happy early birthday Tyry 
It's concept art for my novel, so basically the same premise with a different look. Iannah's on guard duty at the parliament building (aka the Cademia castle) a year-ish before she quits the military to be a mercenary with K.
It's concept art for my novel, so basically the same premise with a different look. Iannah's on guard duty at the parliament building (aka the Cademia castle) a year-ish before she quits the military to be a mercenary with K.
This post has been edited by iKaterei: 09 July 2014 - 03:43 PM
#88
- lazy harp seal
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Posted 09 July 2014 - 03:47 PM
Uhhh… so here's my excuse for not writing a chron. I painted K's best friend Nili. She only appears in my novel, but let's assume she's canonical as part of K's childhood. And it's the first time I've painted a viirelei that wasn't Kat or K, so there's that.
No I didn't paint the background. I mashed it together from some photos I took.
No I didn't paint the background. I mashed it together from some photos I took.
This post has been edited by iKaterei: 22 November 2015 - 11:08 PM
#89
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Posted 10 July 2014 - 07:59 AM
She's pretty! (the background is pretty stunning too!) Does she have tattoos on her arm? I wonder why she's dressed like it's summertime, except with long fur boots? Do only viirelei's feet get cold?
I'll become even more undignified than this
#90
- lazy harp seal
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Posted 10 July 2014 - 03:17 PM
I like your reasoning for her boots ^.^ but it's actually because they're waterproofed and protect her legs from underbrush while tromping around a hot, humid rainforest in their homeland. And it's the only footwear she owns.
The tattoo on her upper arm is her family crest, which is the tribe crest with larkspur in the centre. Larkspur means 'spirited' in Victorian flower language, so I threw that in for fun. The feather tattoos (there's matching ones on each arm) indicate she's one of the tribe dancers, who wear wing-like shawls during ceremonial dances.
I'll probably give K and Kat some tattoos too, but I haven't decided what they are yet. I suppose it's not implausible they've always had them and they've just never been mentioned.
The tattoo on her upper arm is her family crest, which is the tribe crest with larkspur in the centre. Larkspur means 'spirited' in Victorian flower language, so I threw that in for fun. The feather tattoos (there's matching ones on each arm) indicate she's one of the tribe dancers, who wear wing-like shawls during ceremonial dances.
I'll probably give K and Kat some tattoos too, but I haven't decided what they are yet. I suppose it's not implausible they've always had them and they've just never been mentioned.
#91
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Posted 10 July 2014 - 03:48 PM
Both pieces are quite well done. I'm also curious to see more of your novel. It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it 
.
.
#93
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Posted 10 July 2014 - 09:20 PM
Very nice piece, Kat.
You guys let me slack off on updating the index. It's fixed now. (If you want different piece names, just say so.)
You guys let me slack off on updating the index. It's fixed now. (If you want different piece names, just say so.)
"Sometimes I get confused whether I'm posting on ATT or in the War Room. But then I remind myself: If it's moderators acting scatter-brained and foolish, then it's the War Room*.
*Unless it's Avatara, of course."
-- From the memoirs of Sundered Angel
*Unless it's Avatara, of course."
-- From the memoirs of Sundered Angel
#94
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Posted 11 July 2014 - 12:25 AM
I guess that means I need to do some writing. :V I've been meaning to repost the edited versions of the first two chapters, but I'm still not happy with them. D:
Can I request a name change so they contain the titles of the specific artworks with the character name in parentheses? Seems like the most efficient way of sorting. They would be:
Guard Duty (Iannah)
Chase This Light (Nili)
Avatara, on 10 July 2014 - 09:20 PM, said:
You guys let me slack off on updating the index. It's fixed now. (If you want different piece names, just say so.)
Can I request a name change so they contain the titles of the specific artworks with the character name in parentheses? Seems like the most efficient way of sorting. They would be:
Guard Duty (Iannah)
Chase This Light (Nili)
#95
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Posted 17 July 2014 - 08:53 PM
I had actually forgotten there was an index, but I'm going to say that I remembered and that I was preparing to write a blistering complaint about the lack of updates to it .
.
#96
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Posted 19 July 2014 - 12:07 AM
Well, it is more useful for referencing older works than it is recent submissions.
"Sometimes I get confused whether I'm posting on ATT or in the War Room. But then I remind myself: If it's moderators acting scatter-brained and foolish, then it's the War Room*.
*Unless it's Avatara, of course."
-- From the memoirs of Sundered Angel
*Unless it's Avatara, of course."
-- From the memoirs of Sundered Angel
#97
- lazy harp seal
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Posted 06 August 2014 - 07:06 PM
I repainted some of my old character illustration of Katerei. It's linked in the character info thread, but no one ever looks at that, so I may as well post it here. Wonder if I can get five consecutive entries in the GM index.
The Danger of Things Unsaid (Katerei)
The Danger of Things Unsaid (Katerei)
#98
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Posted 08 August 2014 - 09:11 AM
iKaterei, on 06 August 2014 - 07:06 PM, said:
Wonder if I can get five consecutive entries in the GM index.
HUR HUR NARP
Out, Damned Spot!
Attached File(s)
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Damned-Spot.png (31.54K)
Number of downloads: 14
#99
- lazy harp seal
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#100
- lazy harp seal
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Posted 12 August 2014 - 02:19 AM
Avatara said he wanted concept art of Aryit. It's pretty rough, but I wanted to get it done in a timely fashion.
Obelisk Room
Obelisk Room
