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Stupid Joke of the Day

#26 User is offline   The Journalist 

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Posted 29 January 2002 - 06:35 PM

just thought this might get a bigger response in officer's Club


Yo mamma's so ugly, they put her face on a box of Ex-lax and sold it EMPTY.
Yo mamma's so…
Hold that thought

------------------
I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that very clear
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!

#27 User is offline   Overrider720 

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Posted 29 January 2002 - 06:57 PM

Could you go back and forth from these to regulars, they get irritating pretty quick

------------------
You have been overriden by Overrider. Prepare to die evil scum! -Me
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Why?

#28 User is offline   Lord Commander Anic 

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Posted 29 January 2002 - 07:46 PM

OK, here goes,

What's the difference between a duck?

------------------
Oh, so it is another bug hunt then...
Oh, so it is another bug hunt then...

#29 User is offline   The Journalist 

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Posted 29 January 2002 - 09:29 PM

Quote

Originally posted by Overrider720:
Could you go back and forth from these to regulars, they get irritating pretty quick



You mean classic, short-answer jokes and Yo Mamma?

I suppose Yo Mamma can get annoying on the Web. Some of them kinda need a voice.

I think I'm gonna put another SJD in Just Chat. Is there a way to copy them, so they are both updated when someone posts?


This one will always be updated first, if I can't automatical;ly do that

------------------
I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that very clear
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!

#30 User is offline   Shrout1 

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Posted 30 January 2002 - 02:52 PM

[Shrout1 looks around for The Journalist - doesn't see him]

Yo momma's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and....

The Journalist taps on Shrout1's shoulder

"Darnit!" Shrout1 yells, but he gives up.

------------------
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#31 User is offline   The Journalist 

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Posted 31 January 2002 - 08:23 PM

Quote

Originally posted by Shrout1:
[Shrout1 looks around for The Journalist - doesn't see him]

Yo momma's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and....

The Journalist taps on Shrout1's shoulder

"Darnit!" Shrout1 yells, but he gives up.



Nice try. You almost had me there.
I've been screaming at my computer and AOL for quite a while now, so don't give me that look.

Anyway:
Why was astrology invented?
So economics would seem like an accurate science

What is the difference between an economist and a confused old guy with Alzheimer's?
The economist is the one with the calculater


Shrout: If I havn't posted a joke by 6 Pacific(:30 on Fridays), you (or anyone else) can post one.

------------------
I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that very clear
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!

#32 User is offline   The Journalist 

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Posted 01 February 2002 - 08:42 PM

Today's joke:

A party of economists was hiking in the mountains. They get lost. One economist has a map, so he takes it out, unfolds it, and studies it. He compares it with distant landmarks, while the other economists stand there looking confused. Finally, the economist with the map turns to the other economists and says:

"See that big mountain over there? According to the map, we're standing on top if it"

I think that brackney topic is starting to distract from this one Posted Image Posted Image Why? Brackney isn't even a word. {ahem}


------------------
I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that very clear
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!

#33 User is offline   Shrout1 

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Posted 01 February 2002 - 09:10 PM

Quote

Originally posted by The Journalist:
I've been screaming at my computer and AOL for quite a while now


Me too! I scream at it all the time! It abuses me - in ways you can't possibly understand; well, then again, you have it too, so maybe you do.

Well, I'll try to jump on this bandwagon of pre-six o'clock opportunity, but I don't know if I'll be able to produce the same wonderful material that you bring to us on a daily basis - so I'll just have to be careful. I don't know why I'll have to be careful, I just will. Oh, wait, I've got one! It's a bar joke, so if you ever don't post I'll lay it down.

------------------
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#34 User is offline   The Journalist 

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Posted 01 February 2002 - 09:27 PM

Quote

Originally posted by Shrout1:
Me too! I scream at it all the time! It abuses me - in ways you can't possibly understand; well, then again, you have it too, so maybe you do.




I just upgraded to 5.0, so maybe that's why. It loads these pages a bit faster than 4.0, but it took an annoyingly long time to download, install, setup, etc.

As I've said in another topic, the best part of AOL is their tech support. Of course, I wouldn't be here without it, so maybe I shouldn't complain. I am anyway. Am i rambling?

------------------
I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that very clear
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!

#35 User is offline   Shrout1 

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Posted 02 February 2002 - 12:21 AM

Quote

Originally posted by The Journalist:
As I've said in another topic, the best part of AOL is their tech support.


Why's that? Is it because they never bother you? Unlike everything else? Or is is it beacuse they never take up your valuable time by answering your questions - I mean you'd have to read the reply then, would you not? Well, if you know some little secret about contacting AOL tech support, please tell the world. It took me 1/2 hour of searching even to find 1 e-mail that in any way communicates with them. That was 5 days ago and I'm still waiting. If you were being sarcastic then (Ha-ha) I laugh along with you.

------------------
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Come visit the [url="http://"http://nova6.pautsch.com/forum/intro.lasso"]Nova6 Webboards[/url].

#36 User is offline   The Journalist 

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Posted 03 February 2002 - 10:31 AM

Yesterday:
Why is it great to be a test tube baby?

You get a womb with a view.

Not entirely tasteful, but still qualifies.

Taday's will be coming soon

------------------
I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that very clear
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!

#37 User is offline   Shrout1 

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Posted 03 February 2002 - 11:05 AM

Hey, wait a sec! YOu didn't post one yesterday! That means that I should have used my bar joke! D-oh! Good thing I don't catch on quick - you just wait! I'll get you next time! Beleive me! Posted Image

------------------
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#38 User is offline   Shrout1 

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Posted 03 February 2002 - 05:57 PM

Bwahahaha! I look at my watch, and what do I see? It's six o'clock! Time for my Bar joke!

All right, 3 guys walk into a bar, the fourth one ducks.

There must be 2 people who don't get this or haven't heard it, so don't post answers until tomorrow!

Bwahahaha!

------------------
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#39 User is offline   Overrider720 

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Posted 04 February 2002 - 03:52 PM

The 4th one ducked so he didn't get hit by the people who ran into a bar Posted Image

------------------
Always remember this. All murderers, no matter how cruel and evil, only have blood on their hands. Not in their heart -Me
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Why?

#40 User is offline   Shrout1 

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Posted 04 February 2002 - 04:10 PM

Yeah, that's the gist of it. I think it's more him ducking the bar than anything else, but that's it. I think it works much better when spoken. If you work it just right, you can tell it as if you are really goingg to tell a bar joke, and then people get confused. It really works best if you speak it. My friend was being dumb and just blurted it out last year to our entire 10th grade honors English class. No one got it at first. There were like 2 minutes of complete silence and then everyone busted out laughing. Needless to say, we all felt really stupid but it was funny. So try it on a friend - non-chalantly slip it in to conversation and see what happens. I think you'll see that it works much beter when spoken and the results are hilarious if the other person doesn't immediately get it.

------------------
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Come visit the [url="http://"http://nova6.pautsch.com/forum/intro.lasso"]Nova6 Webboards[/url].

#41 User is offline   Lord Commander Anic 

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Posted 04 February 2002 - 05:18 PM

One of its legs is both the same, heh!

------------------
Oh, so it is another bug hunt then...
Oh, so it is another bug hunt then...

#42 User is offline   The Journalist 

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Posted 05 February 2002 - 07:01 PM

Hello, gang. Sorry for the interruption. My parents have limited my webboard time to 3 times a week. I will try to sneak down here a bit, but feel free to post your own jokes.

Did you know that archeologists have found what caused the Dark Ages?

Yes, it was the "1YK" bug Posted Image

How many Ahmish does it take to change a light bulb?

What's a lightbulb?

Yo Mamma's so dumb, she burns CD's in the oven

Yo Mamma's so dumb, she sits on the TV and wathes the couch!

Wow! my first two-page topic! {throws confetti everywhere}

------------------
I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that very clear
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!

#43 User is offline   The Journalist 

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Posted 05 February 2002 - 08:00 PM

Like my new signature? |
/


------------------
I think, therefore, iPod.

I think, therefore I am dangerous.
Meow
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!

#44 User is offline   Overrider720 

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Posted 06 February 2002 - 02:47 PM

Quote

Originally posted by The Journalist:
Yo Mamma's so dumb, she burns CD's in the oven



Lol, that's the best one i've seen so far! Posted Image

------------------
Always remember this. All murderers, no matter how cruel and evil, only have blood on their hands. Not in their heart -Me
[url="http://"http://www.gameranger.com"]GameRanger--Sß-Overrider720[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.boardgame.f2s.com/cgi-bin/ikonboard//ikonboard.cgi"]BoardGame[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.magleague.com"]MaG League- Overrider[/url]
The Underdogs Smiles:[url="http://"http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/gallery.htm"]Underdog Smiles[/url]
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Why?

#45 User is offline   The Journalist 

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Posted 07 February 2002 - 07:08 PM

Quote

Originally posted by Overrider720:
Lol, that's the best one i've seen so far! Posted Image



That came from the SJD Cult at school…not the radio.
Why was astrology invented?

so economics could seem like an accurate science

Abbreviations that never worked:

XP- Xtra Problems
SB2C- Son-of-a-bi***, 2nd Class(actually the name oof a WWII plane)

------------------
I think, therefore, iPod.

I think, therefore I am dangerous.
Meow
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!

#46 User is offline   The Journalist 

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Posted 09 February 2002 - 10:41 PM

Be nice to nerds; you'll probably end up working for one.

Yo mamma's so ugly, when she looks out the window, she gets arrested for mooning

------------------
I think, therefore, iPod.

I think, therefore I am dangerous.
Meow
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!

#47 User is offline   dude3 

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Posted 10 February 2002 - 01:13 AM

sorry this was an accident

[This message has been edited by dude3 (edited 02-10-2002).]

[This message has been edited by dude3 (edited 03-29-2003).]
"For a writing to be a writing it must continue to 'act' and to be readable even when what is called the author of the writing no longer answers for what he has written..."

Jacques Derrida, "Signature Event Context"

#48 User is offline   dude3 

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Posted 10 February 2002 - 01:20 AM

Quote

Originally posted by The Journalist:
Hello, gang. Sorry for the interruption. My parents have limited my webboard time to 3 times a week. I will try to sneak down here a bit, but feel free to post your own jokes.

Did you know that archeologists have found what caused the Dark Ages?

Yes, it was the "1YK" bug Posted Image

How many Ahmish does it take to change a light bulb?

What's a lightbulb?

Yo Mamma's so dumb, she burns CD's in the oven

Yo Mamma's so dumb, she sits on the TV and wathes the couch!

Wow! my first two-page topic! {throws confetti everywhere}


dammit the journalist this is dude3. you stole my cd burning joke. suffer the consequcences. and get me my expostialating parambulator. p.s. fujii makes better jokes than you


------------------


[This message has been edited by dude3 (edited 02-11-2002).]
"For a writing to be a writing it must continue to 'act' and to be readable even when what is called the author of the writing no longer answers for what he has written..."

Jacques Derrida, "Signature Event Context"

#49 User is offline   dude3 

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Posted 10 February 2002 - 01:37 AM

did you hear about the designer pillows?
they're making headlines

did you hear about the new pirate flick?
it's rated arrrrgh

did you hear about the autobiography of the piano assistant?
it's a real page turner

------------------
"For a writing to be a writing it must continue to 'act' and to be readable even when what is called the author of the writing no longer answers for what he has written..."

Jacques Derrida, "Signature Event Context"

#50 User is offline   The Journalist 

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Posted 10 February 2002 - 05:12 PM

Please don't use my real name, and don't use yours, dude3. Click "edit" in the message where our names are. Perambulater may be coming soon. Yes, I took your CD joke, but so what. You've got some good ones, though

------------------
I think, therefore, iPod.

I think, therefore I am dangerous.
Meow
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!

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