Help
[the parts of Andrew M slowly reenter the Earth's atmosphere and reassemble themselves, just in a wrong way. He kicks a rattlesnake with his hand and punches a cactus with his ear]
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Newton's law of gravity: Your warranty will be subject to void if the MessagePad in your possession travels exactly 9.8^2 meters per second.
AIM: evandrewm
[This message has been edited by Andrew M (edited 08-14-2000).]
Hehe
MultiQuote
#52
- deposed despot
-
- Group: Imported Banned Users
- Posts: 7,534
- Joined: 11-January 00
Posted 15 August 2000 - 09:57 AM
The lizard, from his perch atop the hospital, has fin sniping ambulances and the occasinal guy walking to his car in the parking lot.
Suddenly, another helicoptor lands. Its transporting a patient to Seattle.
Being a natural traveler, the lizard boards the helicoptor.
The helicoptor crosses the desert. There the lizard sees Andrew M kicking innocent rattlers. He takes aim and fires. He dosn't stop until he's out of ammo and andrew m is a pile of slush.
At the same time, a big radioactive basketball falls from the sky into the desert...
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It's funny how people running for president spend $60 Million for a $175,000 a year job.
AIM-OctoberFost
Yahoo Messenger-OctoberFost
[url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost"]http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost[/url]
Suddenly, another helicoptor lands. Its transporting a patient to Seattle.
Being a natural traveler, the lizard boards the helicoptor.
The helicoptor crosses the desert. There the lizard sees Andrew M kicking innocent rattlers. He takes aim and fires. He dosn't stop until he's out of ammo and andrew m is a pile of slush.
At the same time, a big radioactive basketball falls from the sky into the desert...
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It's funny how people running for president spend $60 Million for a $175,000 a year job.
AIM-OctoberFost
Yahoo Messenger-OctoberFost
[url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost"]http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost[/url]
htjyang ol-warone, bal-jajea ki'kaemel
#53
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 403
- Joined: 04-July 00
Posted 15 August 2000 - 10:44 PM
An ugly man in a Speedo stumbles aimlessly in the desert. He is thirsty, hungry, and hot. Carrion birds follow him wherever he goes...
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"That's cool how you just walked through
that door, but I still won't let you leave."
— Durandal
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"That's cool how you just walked through
that door, but I still won't let you leave."
— Durandal
#54
- deposed despot
-
- Group: Imported Banned Users
- Posts: 7,534
- Joined: 11-January 00
Posted 16 August 2000 - 09:57 AM
the ugly man finds the now radioactive Andrew M parts. he falls face down in them. They start to take over his body! His is now part ungly man is spedo, part ANDREW M!
Meanwhile the Lizard's helicopter lands in Seattle. He has fun shooting things there. Then he heads for the Canadian border...
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"Never...have we faced two contenders who are so boring and insipid." -Fidel Castro, on George W. Bush and Al Gore.
AIM-OctoberFost
Yahoo Messenger-OctoberFost
[url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost"]http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost[/url]
Meanwhile the Lizard's helicopter lands in Seattle. He has fun shooting things there. Then he heads for the Canadian border...
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"Never...have we faced two contenders who are so boring and insipid." -Fidel Castro, on George W. Bush and Al Gore.
AIM-OctoberFost
Yahoo Messenger-OctoberFost
[url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost"]http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost[/url]
htjyang ol-warone, bal-jajea ki'kaemel
#55
- Haruspex
-
- Group: Moderators
- Posts: 1,443
- Joined: 21-April 00
- Gender:Male
- Location:Minneapolis MN
Posted 16 August 2000 - 11:09 PM
The lizard reaches the border only to find that the ultra right-wing movement to build a 180ft high wall at the US/Canadian in order to keep in draft dodgers was a success. He'll have to find another way…
#56
- fogey
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 1,768
- Joined: 23-January 00
- Gender:Male
- Location:Portland, OR
Posted 17 August 2000 - 01:22 PM
*He finds a guy driving a car, and hops on top of it. Soon, he is at the airport. He scurries out onto the field. There is a 747 with a cargo ramp down. He scurries up into the plane, and looks around. There is a door, and he goes inside. It leads to the passenger area. He goes to the front of the plane, and sees the captain. He snipes the captain, pushes him off the chair, and begins to read the pilot's manual...*
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"I can ail what cures you."
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"I can ail what cures you."
#57
- deposed despot
-
- Group: Imported Banned Users
- Posts: 7,534
- Joined: 11-January 00
Posted 17 August 2000 - 01:32 PM
***The lizard takes off. He quickly uses his sniper rifle to "quiet" the angry pilots. Being a self-trained pilot, he can't steer the plane towards Canada, so he has no choice but to continue going west. By his calculations, the 747 should run out of fuel over Russia, and crash in the busiest section of Moscow, likey killing thousands.***
***hours pass. The 747 is now over Siberia. A drunken air traffic controller in a small Siberian Airport is awakened by his radar, then drinks some more vodka and falls asleep again***
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"Never...have we faced two contenders who are so boring and insipid." -Fidel Castro, on George W. Bush and Al Gore.
AIM-OctoberFost
Yahoo Messenger-OctoberFost
[url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost"]http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost[/url]
[This message has been edited by OctoberFost (edited 08-17-2000).]
***hours pass. The 747 is now over Siberia. A drunken air traffic controller in a small Siberian Airport is awakened by his radar, then drinks some more vodka and falls asleep again***
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"Never...have we faced two contenders who are so boring and insipid." -Fidel Castro, on George W. Bush and Al Gore.
AIM-OctoberFost
Yahoo Messenger-OctoberFost
[url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost"]http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost[/url]
[This message has been edited by OctoberFost (edited 08-17-2000).]
htjyang ol-warone, bal-jajea ki'kaemel
#58
- Lame space monkey
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 2,636
- Joined: 27-February 00
- Gender:Not Telling
- Location:Omisha
Posted 17 August 2000 - 04:04 PM
Some passengers near the front hear the "low fuel warning sound. They grab parachutes and jump out of the plane.
Moving targets...
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-Pallas Athene, {M}ilitia pilot and representative to the Obish Consensus
Moving targets...
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-Pallas Athene, {M}ilitia pilot and representative to the Obish Consensus
#59
- deposed despot
-
- Group: Imported Banned Users
- Posts: 7,534
- Joined: 11-January 00
Posted 17 August 2000 - 10:21 PM
Meanwhile, in the White House, Air Force General Steve Parking is breifing the the president on the situation.
"What do you have on the hijacker?", the president asks.
"His name is Cosmo. He's a South Bend Gecko Lizard. We've linked him to at least 6 other terrorist acts, including the assasination of the Secretary of Transporation a few weeks back."
"Why would he want to attack the Russians?", the president interupted.
"We have no idea. And its too late to shoot the plane down, that would bring it down over Moscow's suburbs. The Russians are the only ones that can get their fighters there on time."
After a few minutes of swearing and fruitless brainstorming, no course of action was decided.
Meanwhile, a Russian pilot in a MiG-29 was flying towards the hijacked 747. He fired a missile. It went terribly off course, and hit a falling passenger. The passengers that jumped off were acting as missile decoys!
Seeing the plane was now over Moscow and almost out of fuel, he started his descent and bailed out at 15,000 feet...
------------------
"Never...have we faced two contenders who are so boring and insipid." -Fidel Castro, on George W. Bush and Al Gore.
AIM-OctoberFost
Yahoo Messenger-OctoberFost
[url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost"]http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost[/url]
"What do you have on the hijacker?", the president asks.
"His name is Cosmo. He's a South Bend Gecko Lizard. We've linked him to at least 6 other terrorist acts, including the assasination of the Secretary of Transporation a few weeks back."
"Why would he want to attack the Russians?", the president interupted.
"We have no idea. And its too late to shoot the plane down, that would bring it down over Moscow's suburbs. The Russians are the only ones that can get their fighters there on time."
After a few minutes of swearing and fruitless brainstorming, no course of action was decided.
Meanwhile, a Russian pilot in a MiG-29 was flying towards the hijacked 747. He fired a missile. It went terribly off course, and hit a falling passenger. The passengers that jumped off were acting as missile decoys!
Seeing the plane was now over Moscow and almost out of fuel, he started his descent and bailed out at 15,000 feet...
------------------
"Never...have we faced two contenders who are so boring and insipid." -Fidel Castro, on George W. Bush and Al Gore.
AIM-OctoberFost
Yahoo Messenger-OctoberFost
[url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost"]http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost[/url]
htjyang ol-warone, bal-jajea ki'kaemel
#60
- fogey
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 1,768
- Joined: 23-January 00
- Gender:Male
- Location:Portland, OR
Posted 18 August 2000 - 12:00 PM
The lizard frantically searches the luggage on board for anything that might get him off the plane safely before it crashes. Nothing in the first calss seats. He gets to the secong class seats, and the first thing he sees is a child's bag, with barney on it. "That can't be it. It has the face of evil on it," he thinks. Although, he has a feeling. But he doesn't check it until the last one. The his life is dependant on what's in this single bag.
He opens it, and finds toy paratrooper G.I. Joes inside! He quickly yanks off one of the parachutes, puts it on, grabs his sniper rifle, and hops out of the plane. Now it's time to see to those passengers...
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"I can ail what cures you."
He opens it, and finds toy paratrooper G.I. Joes inside! He quickly yanks off one of the parachutes, puts it on, grabs his sniper rifle, and hops out of the plane. Now it's time to see to those passengers...
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"I can ail what cures you."
#61
- Ravenous
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 3,746
- Joined: 03-March 00
- Location:The Cabbage Patch
Posted 18 August 2000 - 08:45 PM
One of the Passengers turns out to be a T-1000 terminator. The bullets pass right through it. It's arms turn into long, clumsy blades as it attempts to slice lizard out of the sky.
However it misses and turns the Kremlin into Chop Suey, The 747 explodes and destroys all of Moscow. Flaming chunks of Kremlin Chop Suey are blown into orbit and are drawn through the magnetosphere towards the poles and melt the icecaps. The Highway ponders this recent developement, as it's underwater.
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I do not suffer from insanity
I enjoy every minute of it
-Cantharan Admiral za'Grom
After the capture of Earth
However it misses and turns the Kremlin into Chop Suey, The 747 explodes and destroys all of Moscow. Flaming chunks of Kremlin Chop Suey are blown into orbit and are drawn through the magnetosphere towards the poles and melt the icecaps. The Highway ponders this recent developement, as it's underwater.
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I do not suffer from insanity
I enjoy every minute of it
-Cantharan Admiral za'Grom
After the capture of Earth
[image removed]
#62
- Member
- Group: Members
- Posts: 55
- Joined: 15-June 00
Posted 19 August 2000 - 07:03 AM
Wow! When I left for camp one month ago I thought this strand would be dead. D-E-A-D. Who knew?
Any ways.
The lisard is blown to the only place on earth thats not under water. Mt. Everest, witch has become a nice little tropical island.
It is depressed that there's no one to kill, but just then its prayers are answered and Bill Gates falls from the sky having been blown to the island the same way as the lizard. He complains about how uncomfortable the flight was and wanders around trying to find some one to sew. Just then he sees the lizard.
[hehehe]
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The space ships hung in the air much in the same way bricks don't.
HHGTTG
Why is it that the more civilized the civilization, the more people they kill?
Any ways.
The lisard is blown to the only place on earth thats not under water. Mt. Everest, witch has become a nice little tropical island.
It is depressed that there's no one to kill, but just then its prayers are answered and Bill Gates falls from the sky having been blown to the island the same way as the lizard. He complains about how uncomfortable the flight was and wanders around trying to find some one to sew. Just then he sees the lizard.
[hehehe] ------------------
The space ships hung in the air much in the same way bricks don't.
HHGTTG
Why is it that the more civilized the civilization, the more people they kill?
"Life is pain your Highness, any one who says differently is trying to sell you some thing"-Dread Pirate Roberts, The Princess Bride
"Somtimes I think the surest sign that there's intellegent life out there is that it hasn't tried to contact us"-Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
"Somtimes I think the surest sign that there's intellegent life out there is that it hasn't tried to contact us"-Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
#63
- deposed despot
-
- Group: Imported Banned Users
- Posts: 7,534
- Joined: 11-January 00
Posted 19 August 2000 - 11:26 AM
Gates never knew what hit him, only that it hurt and made him die.
The Lizard sits on the island. Hours pass. An Russian Typhoon class SSBN (nuclear ballistic missile sub) floats by. The lizard hops on, crawls down the hatch, and kills the capitan. Using a small mind control machine he found in Gates's luggage, he takes over the sub, which is armed with 18 50-megaton nuclear missiles...
------------------
"Never...have we faced two contenders who are so boring and insipid." -Fidel Castro, on George W. Bush and Al Gore.
AIM-OctoberFost
Yahoo Messenger-OctoberFost
[url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost"]http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost[/url]
The Lizard sits on the island. Hours pass. An Russian Typhoon class SSBN (nuclear ballistic missile sub) floats by. The lizard hops on, crawls down the hatch, and kills the capitan. Using a small mind control machine he found in Gates's luggage, he takes over the sub, which is armed with 18 50-megaton nuclear missiles...
------------------
"Never...have we faced two contenders who are so boring and insipid." -Fidel Castro, on George W. Bush and Al Gore.
AIM-OctoberFost
Yahoo Messenger-OctoberFost
[url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost"]http://www.geocities.com/octoberfost[/url]
htjyang ol-warone, bal-jajea ki'kaemel
#64
- fogey
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 1,768
- Joined: 23-January 00
- Gender:Male
- Location:Portland, OR
Posted 19 August 2000 - 11:38 AM
Meanwhile, the freeway is getting more and more angry. Eventually, it loses control again. First, the water over it starts boiling violently, leaving the lizard's kill count far, far behind. Then, the sand around it starts becoming liquid, and because heat rises, floats to the surface of the water, making a large patch of orange glowing stuff. When the freeway calms down, the sand cools, making an island out of glass at the surface...
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"I can ail what cures you."
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"I can ail what cures you."
#65
- Haruspex
-
- Group: Moderators
- Posts: 1,443
- Joined: 21-April 00
- Gender:Male
- Location:Minneapolis MN
Posted 19 August 2000 - 01:21 PM
Without warning and for no reason, the Earth gains 20% more mass, and the continants rise again, regaing their original position above land. Everyone is left soaked and confused as to why they are alive, and why the now weigh about thirty more pounds. The US stock market, having had the bottom pulled out from under it by a temporary global flood, rebounds amazingly well as several companies cash in on the latest "lose weight now!" craze.
The tropical island that was Mt. Everest is once again a highly acclimated mountain. The Lizard convulses as its body desperately tries to adjust to the dramatic shift in pressuer and tempreture.
The tropical island that was Mt. Everest is once again a highly acclimated mountain. The Lizard convulses as its body desperately tries to adjust to the dramatic shift in pressuer and tempreture.
#66
- Ravenous
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 3,746
- Joined: 03-March 00
- Location:The Cabbage Patch
Posted 20 August 2000 - 12:09 AM
Then some wierd looking aliens, who had been watching all this happen, land on Mt. Everest. A hatch opens and something (don't know what) crawls out and whacks lizard.
Lizard never knew what hit him.
The russian ballistic submarine implodes under the sudden change in pressure, and when the water flooded into a dehydrated food factory, all hell broke loose.
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I do not suffer from insanity
I enjoy every minute of it
-Cantharan Admiral za'Grom
After the capture of Earth
Lizard never knew what hit him.
The russian ballistic submarine implodes under the sudden change in pressure, and when the water flooded into a dehydrated food factory, all hell broke loose.
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I do not suffer from insanity
I enjoy every minute of it
-Cantharan Admiral za'Grom
After the capture of Earth
[image removed]
#67
- fogey
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 1,768
- Joined: 23-January 00
- Gender:Male
- Location:Portland, OR
Posted 22 August 2000 - 01:42 PM
Folks, the story must go on...
*The lizard gets reincarnated again, and scurries into the flying saucer's hatch. He snipes the aliens down, one by one, and goes to the cockpit. He finds a pilot's manual, but it's in an alien language. He decides to forget it and randomly hits buttons. The first one fires a laser beam at the dehydrated food factory, causing hydrated dehydrated food to rain down on the surface for years. The lizard just randomly hits buttons, and makes sure to remember which one fires the laser. Eventually, he get the landing gear up and figures out how to control his speed. He speed toward space at full throttle...*
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"I can ail what cures you."
*The lizard gets reincarnated again, and scurries into the flying saucer's hatch. He snipes the aliens down, one by one, and goes to the cockpit. He finds a pilot's manual, but it's in an alien language. He decides to forget it and randomly hits buttons. The first one fires a laser beam at the dehydrated food factory, causing hydrated dehydrated food to rain down on the surface for years. The lizard just randomly hits buttons, and makes sure to remember which one fires the laser. Eventually, he get the landing gear up and figures out how to control his speed. He speed toward space at full throttle...*
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"I can ail what cures you."
#69
- Member
-
- Group: Imported Banned Users
- Posts: 2,816
- Joined: 11-January 00
Posted 22 August 2000 - 08:48 PM
**Cotton Mouse walks out into the middle of the desert, and pulls out a glock. He puts it to his head, screams "FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOM!!!" And pulls the trigger, killing himself and spraying his brains all over the hot desert sand. All is quiet once the echo dissapears.
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"Those taught from a book may be read like a book"
Era for EV: [url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/rhysmctharin/erahome.html"]www.geocities.com/rhysmctharin/erahome.html[/url]
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"Those taught from a book may be read like a book"
Era for EV: [url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/rhysmctharin/erahome.html"]www.geocities.com/rhysmctharin/erahome.html[/url]
#70
- Ravenous
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 3,746
- Joined: 03-March 00
- Location:The Cabbage Patch
Posted 22 August 2000 - 09:03 PM
What is up with you, Mousey? You're behavig wierdly. Does this have to do with me being a moderator?
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I do not suffer from insanity
I enjoy every minute of it
-Cantharan Commodore za'Grom
After the capture of Earth
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I do not suffer from insanity
I enjoy every minute of it
-Cantharan Commodore za'Grom
After the capture of Earth
[image removed]
#71
- Haruspex
-
- Group: Moderators
- Posts: 1,443
- Joined: 21-April 00
- Gender:Male
- Location:Minneapolis MN
Posted 22 August 2000 - 11:33 PM
It's a ritual of his, I guess. He behaved exactly the same way when I became a moderator, as well as Sundered Angel. Just give ol' Cotton time, he'll get over it.
#72
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 403
- Joined: 04-July 00
Posted 23 August 2000 - 02:03 AM
18th century silverware fall from the sky. The falling eating utensils make a harmonic sound that reverberates ominously throughout the land as they slice through the air. The once quiet desert is now being pelted with forks, spoons and knives of varying shapes and sizes. The sun reflects off of these shiny surfaces and so from a distance, the desert seems to sparkle magestically. At the surface, the sand is being torn up and thrown into the air as the silverware hits it, causing a low dust cloud to form thickly over the desert.
As if it were rain, the falling objects gradually stop falling. But literally, they stop. Thousands upon thousands of forks, spoons and knives hung in the air as if gravity forgot they were there.
The silverware that still hangs in the air is nothing compared to the oddity on the surface. The dust cloud had been blown away, revealing a sea of shiny sharp things.
The sand underneath the carpet of silverware cools quickly, because most of the Sun's light rays are being reflected back into space. In fact, Luna seems to have an unusually bright patch on the side...
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Spacebar: the big key below all the little keys.
As if it were rain, the falling objects gradually stop falling. But literally, they stop. Thousands upon thousands of forks, spoons and knives hung in the air as if gravity forgot they were there.
The silverware that still hangs in the air is nothing compared to the oddity on the surface. The dust cloud had been blown away, revealing a sea of shiny sharp things.
The sand underneath the carpet of silverware cools quickly, because most of the Sun's light rays are being reflected back into space. In fact, Luna seems to have an unusually bright patch on the side...
------------------
Spacebar: the big key below all the little keys.
#73
- fogey
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 1,768
- Joined: 23-January 00
- Gender:Male
- Location:Portland, OR
Posted 23 August 2000 - 12:16 PM
*The desert becomes an extremely popular tourist attraction, with tons of silverware and a "mountain" of glass with a tunnel with a road through it. Many people also come to climb the glass mountain, which almost goes as high as everest. It's a good way to lose weight, and it gives them a break from the heat when they get near the top...
Meanwhile, the lizard is flying the flying saucer. He reaches space, and a message comes on his screen in the alien language. He figures it's just a message about him leaving the atmosphere, and ignores it.But then, a colossal ship moves and bars his path. Alerts and sirens start to go off in his flying saucer...*
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"I can ail what cures you."
Meanwhile, the lizard is flying the flying saucer. He reaches space, and a message comes on his screen in the alien language. He figures it's just a message about him leaving the atmosphere, and ignores it.But then, a colossal ship moves and bars his path. Alerts and sirens start to go off in his flying saucer...*
------------------
"I can ail what cures you."
#74
- Ravenous
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 3,746
- Joined: 03-March 00
- Location:The Cabbage Patch
Posted 23 August 2000 - 09:53 PM
Lizard desperately fumbles with the controls, and accidentally vaporizes the tourists and melting the silverware into a giant lake of molten slag.
The cloud of vaporized tourists thickenes and condenses into a rain of thick grease, which coats the highway.
(So now we have
-A desert
-A greasy highway that is alive
-A glass mountain
-A lake of always-molten metal)
------------------
I do not suffer from insanity
I enjoy every minute of it
-Cantharan Commodore za'Grom
After the capture of Earth
The cloud of vaporized tourists thickenes and condenses into a rain of thick grease, which coats the highway.
(So now we have
-A desert
-A greasy highway that is alive
-A glass mountain
-A lake of always-molten metal)
------------------
I do not suffer from insanity
I enjoy every minute of it
-Cantharan Commodore za'Grom
After the capture of Earth
[image removed]
#75
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 403
- Joined: 04-July 00
Posted 23 August 2000 - 11:04 PM
The odor is nasty enough to kill birds that fly a little too close to the gooey substance...
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I'm back in the hangar again, but now they are all screaming at me. Their arms and legs are no longer attacting my
attention. It wouldn't be so bad if they were talking, but they aren't. They could talk, too. They aren't screaming
in pain, but in protest. They don't miss their arms or their legs. They all agree on one thing, they won't give me
the satisfaction of hearing them talk, and I'll never forget their screaming, pointless and wordless, without
justification. (I did this and could have stopped it.)
------------------
I'm back in the hangar again, but now they are all screaming at me. Their arms and legs are no longer attacting my
attention. It wouldn't be so bad if they were talking, but they aren't. They could talk, too. They aren't screaming
in pain, but in protest. They don't miss their arms or their legs. They all agree on one thing, they won't give me
the satisfaction of hearing them talk, and I'll never forget their screaming, pointless and wordless, without
justification. (I did this and could have stopped it.)
