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Pufer, on Oct 17 2008, 09:41 PM, said:
Be confident. Even if you're not, as the saying says, fake it 'til you make it. If you fake it enough at your age, by the time it counts, you'll be fine and getting plenty of action.
-Pufer
-Pufer
Be confident, think of future interests. This is a legit post.
Pufer, on Oct 17 2008, 11:27 PM, said:
I might also suggest asking random girls if they'd like to have sex with you. "Hi there! You don't know me, but would you perhaps like to go back to my place and have sex?" If you ever find a girl just shuffling down the street who says yes to that in an American accent (and she doesn't immediately start talking prices), you've found an intriguing prospect. According to studies, exactly 0% of American women actually say yes to such a query. In contrast, around 6% of european women will answer in the affirmative.
Roughly three quarters of American males will automatically answer in the affirmative; a group that I'm too ######ing stupid to be a member of. I was asked exactly once by a random girl in high school if I wanted to go out to the back my truck (I had a camper shell and a nice comfy carpet kit, which she apparently knew about) and ######, in exactly those words. I understood her but my response was still, "What?" She responded, "Never mind." and walked away. It's possible that she was just ######ing with me, but I'll never know.
Therefore, I might also suggest that if anyone ever asks you if you want to ######, automatically say yes. You can always get out of it later if you decide that she's horrifying or it was just some guy propositioning you (and you don't want to give that the old college try), but I think that it's best to not limit your options by saying something stupid like, "What?"
-Pufer
Roughly three quarters of American males will automatically answer in the affirmative; a group that I'm too ######ing stupid to be a member of. I was asked exactly once by a random girl in high school if I wanted to go out to the back my truck (I had a camper shell and a nice comfy carpet kit, which she apparently knew about) and ######, in exactly those words. I understood her but my response was still, "What?" She responded, "Never mind." and walked away. It's possible that she was just ######ing with me, but I'll never know.
Therefore, I might also suggest that if anyone ever asks you if you want to ######, automatically say yes. You can always get out of it later if you decide that she's horrifying or it was just some guy propositioning you (and you don't want to give that the old college try), but I think that it's best to not limit your options by saying something stupid like, "What?"
-Pufer
Randomly ask people to ###### you segueing into a random spiel about studies regarding asking random people to ###### you. This is probably not serious, although it could be. Depends on you and the context that you're in. Frankly, I just thought it quite amusing as I wrote it, so that's why I posted it.
If someone asks you to ###### them, say yes as a rule, reserving the right to get out of it later if you decide otherwise. I present it as the moral of an actual story, so this is actual advice.
Pufer, on Oct 18 2008, 04:07 PM, said:
You are your own age. If you feel like you want a girlfriend, go for it. Maybe it'll work out, maybe you'll hate it. Who knows. Personally, I'm not real sure what type of relationship would exist between two 14-year-olds (my guess: not much of one - almost certainly not enough of one to warrant the misgivings of everyone else regarding complexity), but don't let that stop you. Live your own life, seize the day, do various other things!
-Pufer
-Pufer
Post directed specifically at you and other advice contained in this topic. Probably serious because it's pretty well serious.
Pufer, on Oct 19 2008, 01:10 AM, said:
Erectile dysfunction
-Pufer
-Pufer
This is obviously not serious.
Pufer, on Oct 22 2008, 08:49 PM, said:
She's who you should be trying to hook up with. With any kind of luck, you can blackmail her with statutory rape charges in order to force her to hook you up with her sister.
As they say, illegal coercion of close family members is a fine way to start any long-lasting relationship
-Pufer
As they say, illegal coercion of close family members is a fine way to start any long-lasting relationship
-Pufer
Do you really think that I'm serious in telling you to screw an 18 year old and then illegally blackmail her into doing something implausible at best? Even if you did think so, the maxim I separated off from the rest of the post should've tipped you off that I wasn't serious.
Pufer, on Oct 22 2008, 09:48 PM, said:
How's the road?
Are you getting lots of action out there?
I hope so
I'm at home
Distracting myself with the guitar
And microphones
And when you get home you can
Tie me to the murphy bed
Let's do all the things you said
-Pufer
Are you getting lots of action out there?
I hope so
I'm at home
Distracting myself with the guitar
And microphones
And when you get home you can
Tie me to the murphy bed
Let's do all the things you said
-Pufer
That would be selected song lyrics to Mirah's Murphy Bed. They have nothing to do with your post, so I'm not sure what you could read into my posting them beyond their being a random segue into something completely different, likely to either be ignored by everyone or send the topic off onto a tangent.
At no point in this topic have I been trying to be an ass, except for comedic effect.
-Pufer
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