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How to Get a Girlfriend? I've never had one....

#51 User is offline   Rickton 

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Posted 19 October 2008 - 10:39 PM

View Postlemonyscapegoat, on Oct 19 2008, 10:06 PM, said:

Perhaps getting a girl will be easier, and may not appear such an urgent yet insurmountable task if you deal with your other evident problems first.

They do say "You have to love yourself before you can love someone else," and while it may not be entirely true, it definitely makes it easier.
Currently making Possession 2, a game where you play as a ghost and possess your enemies.

#52 User is offline   Jeremiah 

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 04:17 AM

View PostRickton, on Oct 20 2008, 03:39 AM, said:

They do say "You have to love yourself before you can love someone else," and while it may not be entirely true, it definitely makes it easier.


Yes indeedy, [speculation on the development of sexual prowess].

This post has been edited by Sundered Angel: 20 October 2008 - 05:40 PM
Reason for edit: Keeping it clean.

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 10:11 AM

[Removed]

This post has been edited by Sundered Angel: 20 October 2008 - 05:37 PM
Reason for edit: Do not make rape jokes.

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 12:33 PM

Quote

Yes indeedy, [speculation on the development of sexual prowess].


You know, somehow I'm not quite sure that is what he meant...

#55 User is offline   Rickton 

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 01:08 PM

No, of course it was. [Speculation on the origin of reproductive stamina].

This post has been edited by Sundered Angel: 20 October 2008 - 05:41 PM
Reason for edit: Keeping it clean.

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#56 User is offline   Sundered Angel 

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 05:38 PM

Keep it clean, Rickton.
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#57 User is offline   kingofvwcosmos 

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 06:03 PM

View PostSundered Angel, on Oct 19 2008, 05:36 PM, said:

While perhaps inadequately expressed, I believe that kingofvwcosmos's point was that while life often seems to suck in high school, things aren't as bad as they seem, and usually get better afterwards. But you've probably heard that before.

Yes, I'm afraid any eloquence that I have in writing is quickly shot down by extreme emotions.

View Postephrin, on Oct 19 2008, 09:12 PM, said:

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with your second point. As long as you both understand that it's just sex, it can be quite fun. Sex doesn't always equal love. Or, at least, it doesn't have to. However, it's best to have some balance in your life. Understand the difference between "having sex" and "making love."

If you're a Christian, ignore this and listen to SA. IMO, just listen to SA anyway.
Sorry, can't have people unknowingly sinning.
Quite frankly, even if you aren't a Christian, I think it would be strange just to have sex with some girl and go to school the next day and see her in class. If she thought of it as "just sex" then she probably won't be looking back at you with any longing expression. Who knows if she'd even talk to you that day? She just had sex and that's it. I can't grasp how she could just move on. (Maybe 'cause I can't grasp how I could move on after such an event.)

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 06:17 PM

View Postgray_shirt_ninja, on Oct 20 2008, 08:11 AM, said:

[Removed]

That wasn't a rape joke. That was a kidnapping joke. There is, in fact, a difference. I love you anyway, SA.
Why am I here? Why do I exist, and what is
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#59 User is offline   lemonyscapegoat 

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 07:06 PM

Here's a protip for you, get to know this(any) girl really well before you really comit to a relationship, make sure you really get on well. There's few things more painful than thinking you've finally filled the romantic void in your life and can rest easily at last, knowing you're needed by someone as their special someone and that you feel the same way about them . . . and then having them realize that they don't actually feel that way about you after all.

Me, bitter?

Never.

Edit: And even if you have known someone for some time and all signs point to 'you two need to friggin go make babies already' sometimes it just doesn't work either! Love is ######ing grand isn't it?

This post has been edited by lemonyscapegoat: 20 October 2008 - 07:14 PM

I guess so.

#60 User is offline   Captain Zaphod Beeblebrox 

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 07:17 PM

Well, I'm pretty sure I know here really well, but you can never be too sure, right?

Oh, and by the way, I know the exact German translation for your Sig, Lemony.
Mein Hut, der hat drei Ecken
Drei Ecken hat mein Hut
Und hat er nicht drei Ecken
Dann ist es nicht mein Hut

#61 User is offline   Rickton 

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 07:30 PM

You can't translate it exactly into German. The first line's grammar isn't right. And I don't think the third would work either.
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#62 User is offline   Captain Zaphod Beeblebrox 

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 07:34 PM

Mein Hut der hat drei Ecke
Drei Ecken hat Mein Hut
Und ist es nicht drei Ecke
Das ist es nicht Mein Hut

Okay, you're right. But that's what the translation is.
Mein Hut, der hat drei Ecken
Drei Ecken hat mein Hut
Und hat er nicht drei Ecken
Dann ist es nicht mein Hut

#63 User is offline   lemonyscapegoat 

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 07:40 PM

The hat part or the zombies part?


About the problem at hand though, assuming that you do really know this girl well, I'd try doing a little playful flirting with her. Nothing big, nothing too definately identifiable as coming on to her, but maybe compliment how she looks in a somewhat over the top or ambiguous way, crack the occasional suggestive joke regarding her if appropriate even, and be just sliiiiiiightly a bit of an ass in a playful fashion (don't like seriously tease her or make light of serious s###, just . . . it's hard to explain, but you'll understand when the right situation presents itself.) Do not start doing all of this all of a sudden though, start small, and if she responds well, increase accordingly. There will be a point when you'll have something of an idea of how she feels, when you're pretty sure she likes you, lessen the ######ry and jokes a bit, and seriously flirt a touch, also try to connect with her on a serious emotional level a bit. Once you're confident about it, ask her to a school dance or a movie or something, saving a vague 'as friends' or 'so we don't have to worry about finding someone to go with' excuse in case it's a little awkward. If you make it that far, don't make a huge move all of a sudden, but definately do something along the lines of slow dancing together or whatever is appropriate. Of course, all this is to be changed according to how she responds at each step along the way, if she seems really interested, don't ###### around, if she's uneasy, well, be careful.
I guess so.

#64 User is offline   Captain Zaphod Beeblebrox 

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 07:46 PM

The Hat part.

Umm, do you think you can explain that better? I don't actually know how to flirt with a girl, so, anything (further explanation, website, etc.) would help.

Thanks a lot, you seem to really know how to pick up on girls.
Mein Hut, der hat drei Ecken
Drei Ecken hat mein Hut
Und hat er nicht drei Ecken
Dann ist es nicht mein Hut

#65 User is offline   Vell-os 

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Posted 21 October 2008 - 01:11 AM

...ok...erm...I really confused now.

What do you do if just by having a normal conversation, the girl you are with begins crying because of what she's thinking?

And she hasn't cried in 4 years.

HALP :P
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Posted 21 October 2008 - 02:28 AM

Wow, SA is actually moderating and not just locking. I find this greatly amusing.
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#67 User is offline   Jeremiah 

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Posted 21 October 2008 - 04:14 AM

Since when did the fine art of w##### become so dirty here?

Just because some dudes are uptight about themselves?
Evility is Reality.

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#68 User is offline   undead_shadow 

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Posted 21 October 2008 - 09:46 AM

View PostSundered Angel, on Oct 19 2008, 12:41 AM, said:

By making a deliberate and conscious effort to produce all the outward signs associated with love, but nevertheless being unable to feel the emotion itself that should produce said signs spontaneously.

Bingo. This basically sums my love life up.


The way I look at it is that everyone is basically the same, we all want the same certain things - to be loved, receive attention/respect etc - but what makes us different is how we go about this... It's easy for me to see the world in only two lights. My initial reaction to the title of this post was "stop typing and get a life". Seriously when people say communication is the key... it is. Talk to who ever you want to go out with and if you think you like her then take it further.

Another thing to remember are you're not supposed to be experieced. The way you get experience is by trying new things (also the girl would have been nervous/scared the first time she did things).

Also opposites attract... Claire (my gf) is quiet but well spoken. whereas I am outspoken but don't always think... (ying and yang?)

I doubt this has helped because it's cynical and you obviously don't have the experience to understand it all yet...

This post has been edited by undead_shadow: 21 October 2008 - 09:47 AM

You are what you are but you don't wanna be

#69 User is offline   Rickton 

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Posted 21 October 2008 - 12:04 PM

View PostCaptain Zaphod Beeblebrox, on Oct 20 2008, 08:34 PM, said:

Mein Hut der hat drei Ecke
Drei Ecken hat Mein Hut
Und ist es nicht drei Ecke
Das ist es nicht Mein Hut

Okay, you're right. But that's what the translation is.

Oh, wow...
Did you translate that yourself or get it from somewhere?

This post has been edited by Rickton: 21 October 2008 - 12:06 PM

Currently making Possession 2, a game where you play as a ghost and possess your enemies.

#70 User is offline   Lektor 

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Posted 21 October 2008 - 02:06 PM

Probably did it himself. It's not like he's got a girlfriend to occupy his time, is it? :P

On the whole subject of sex and marriage. I believe that if you are having sex with someone you really care about, and it isn't a throw away thing, then absolutely go for it. Sex was invented as a fun thing for two people with deep feelings for each other to enjoy and use to get closer to, so why the hell not?
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Posted 21 October 2008 - 02:24 PM

Sex was invented? Did humanity reproduce by splitting in half up to that point?
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#72 User is offline   Lektor 

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Posted 21 October 2008 - 02:38 PM

We did indeed, and which would you prefer?
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#73 User is offline   JacaByte 

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Posted 21 October 2008 - 06:31 PM

Hey Zaphod, use some of your German; being able to speak two languages is a plus, show it off! And you never know; she might speak German too.

This post has been edited by JacaByte: 21 October 2008 - 06:31 PM


#74 User is offline   Sundered Angel 

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Posted 21 October 2008 - 06:41 PM

View PostVell-os, on Oct 21 2008, 06:11 AM, said:

...ok...erm...I really confused now.

What do you do if just by having a normal conversation, the girl you are with begins crying because of what she's thinking?

And she hasn't cried in 4 years.

HALP :P

Without knowing the girl in question, it's very hard to say. However, it's almost certain that she's going through a very, very rough patch. If you have a deep and trusting relationship, you should probably attempt to find out what's wrong - but first you should arm yourself with information on some of the more difficult waters you may have to navigate. She may have suffered from incest or sexual violence, in which case you'll need to know the number of a good local counselling service. Any number of overwhelming problems in school or home life could cause this behaviour, some more worrying than others. The Number #1 important thing is to be supportive, and not judgemental, no matter what the answer happens to be.


View Postephrin, on Oct 20 2008, 02:12 AM, said:

While I agree totally with your first point, I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with your second point. As long as you both understand that it's just sex, it can be quite fun. Sex doesn't always equal love. Or, at least, it doesn't have to. However, it's best to have some balance in your life. Understand the difference between "having sex" and "making love."

While a very nice theory, have you been witness to the successful application of this philosophy? Because I know a lot of people who've endeavoured to live it, and not one who's actually succeeded in doing so.

View Postundead_shadow, on Oct 21 2008, 02:46 PM, said:

The way I look at it is that everyone is basically the same, we all want the same certain things - to be loved, receive attention/respect etc - but what makes us different is how we go about this... It's easy for me to see the world in only two lights. My initial reaction to the title of this post was "stop typing and get a life". Seriously when people say communication is the key... it is. Talk to who ever you want to go out with and if you think you like her then take it further.

Another thing to remember are you're not supposed to be experieced. The way you get experience is by trying new things (also the girl would have been nervous/scared the first time she did things).

Undead shadow makes a good point - you can discuss the issue all you want here, but at the end of the day the only way you'll learn about girls and relationships is by involving yourself with them. It'll be rough for a while, but if you're willing to listen, and truly attempt to understand every girl you find yourself attracted to, you'll benefit from it greatly in the long run.

Oh, and don't be worried if you get any "you're not strong/handsome/popular!" enough responses from girls you're interested in during High School. Girls - and boys - can be particularly shallow in that phase of life.

View PostJeremiah, on Oct 21 2008, 09:14 AM, said:

Since when did the fine art of w##### become so dirty here?

Just because some dudes are uptight about themselves?

I'd rather not have a meaningful conversation about important issues derailed by libidinous trivia, if you don't mind.
Sundered Angel,
The One and Only

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#75 User is offline   lemonyscapegoat 

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Posted 21 October 2008 - 06:59 PM

View PostSundered Angel, on Oct 21 2008, 07:41 PM, said:

Oh, and don't be worried if you get any "you're not strong/handsome/popular!" enough responses from girls you're interested in during High School. Girls - and boys - can be particularly shallow in that phase of life.


QFT

Anyone really concerned about this sort of thing almost certainly isn't worth your time.
I guess so.

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