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#801 Idiot_box

conspirator

Group: Members
Posts: 1,107
Joined: 28-June 00

Posted 02 March 2001 - 04:30 PM

Idiot_box takes some Advil, and burrows back into the sand. Ahhh, the life of a Coral Shark on land....

Meanwhile, the lizards continue their duels. By now, a large television crew has arrived, and is filming the battle. A commentator incorrectly calls it an 'epic' battle, and promptly loses his head from two bullets, one fired frome each of both lizards barrels.

[aside]Heh...excellent, Carnotaur. And may the wrath of the karmaless devour your soul should you lower my karma! Joking, of course. Posted Image

[/aside]

------------------
"What is luck? It is probability taken personally...it is bad math."
--Penn and Teller

"Speak softly and carry a big stick." --Theodore Roosevelt
+++++++++++++++++
"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
-Socrates

#802 Captain Carnotaur

Veteran Member

Group: Members
Posts: 6,944
Joined: 25-May 00
Gender:Male

Posted 02 March 2001 - 05:05 PM

Hey! We're at page 21! Now all we have to do is get to 24 and we will have beaten the Ares Officers club!

--------------

Then Idiot_Box is awakened when an oil team starts drilling for oil, and Idiot_Box get's hit by the drill!

Meanwhile, Holywood arrives at the Lizard vs. Lizard fight scene, and along with them comes a bunch of major movie actors, who are promptly shot by the lizards who dislike publicity.

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To Escape Velocity: Nova and Beyond!
--------------
Millennium. Its coming, prepare for it.
Coming to the [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiaSW.com/games/ev/chronicles.html"]EV Chronicles[/url].

#803 Asc

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 418
Joined: 26-May 01

Posted 02 March 2001 - 06:59 PM

The producers respawn. Idiot_Box respawns and telefrags them. Og nukes Idiot_Box, who respawns and telefrags Og. Unfortunatly, Idiot_Box dosen't know how to fly whichever plane Og was piloting, and......

[comment]The AOC bar is 25 pages now[/comment]

Yes, I know it's spam. Ssh. I'm probably sleep deprived.

#804 Idiot_box

conspirator

Group: Members
Posts: 1,107
Joined: 28-June 00

Posted 03 March 2001 - 08:01 PM

Idiot_box burrows back under the sand, waiting and letting the warmth of the sand seep into him.

Somewhere in Canada, an ice shelf cleaves in two. No one cares.

Somewhere in Antarctica, a giant iceberg detatches from the flow. No one really cares about that, either.

Og nukes other things, including six oil refineries. Og realizes that Idiot_box is his creator, and so leaves him alone.

------------------
"What is luck? It is probability taken personally...it is bad math."
--Penn and Teller

"Speak softly and carry a big stick." --Theodore Roosevelt
+++++++++++++++++
"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
-Socrates

#805 Asc

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 418
Joined: 26-May 01

Posted 04 March 2001 - 01:13 PM

*An observer observes that there is a tumbleweed on the iceberg, but dosen't care.*

Yes, I know it's spam. Ssh. I'm probably sleep deprived.

#806 El Spamo

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 675
Joined: 12-January 00

Posted 05 March 2001 - 02:47 AM

Mad posting ensues as the post approaches critical 24 post mass.

The excessive nuking of Og is starting to turn the weather chilly, whilst the radiation has caused ice-shelfs to split. Bad Og.

And now, Mad Posting™

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Ne Cede Malis Sed Contra Audientor Ito

#807 El Spamo

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 675
Joined: 12-January 00

Posted 05 March 2001 - 02:49 AM

Mad Postage!

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Ne Cede Malis Sed Contra Audientor Ito

#808 El Spamo

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 675
Joined: 12-January 00

Posted 05 March 2001 - 02:52 AM

Mad Postage!

..

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Ne Cede Malis Sed Contra Audientor Ito

#809 El Spamo

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 675
Joined: 12-January 00

Posted 05 March 2001 - 02:53 AM

Mad Postage!

Posted Image

They don't call me "El Spamo" for nuthin'! Posted Image

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Ne Cede Malis Sed Contra Audientor Ito

#810 Captain Carnotaur

Veteran Member

Group: Members
Posts: 6,944
Joined: 25-May 00
Gender:Male

Posted 05 March 2001 - 04:08 PM

Usually, I would lower your karma for doing that. But, since this is a crazy topic, who cares?

---------------

Carnotaur, is response to the cold, detonates a heat bomb in the upper atmosphere, making the temperature of Earth return to normal. Following this, Carnotaur drops 50 tons of TNT on Og for his bad nuking.

------------------
To Escape Velocity: Nova and Beyond!
--------------
Millennium. Its coming, prepare for it.
Coming to the [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiaSW.com/games/ev/chronicles.html"]EV Chronicles[/url].

#811 Captain Carnotaur

Veteran Member

Group: Members
Posts: 6,944
Joined: 25-May 00
Gender:Male

Posted 05 March 2001 - 04:11 PM

Can't resist....

MAD POST!

MAD POST!

Sorry, I couldn't restrain myself. Usually, I would never post such spam.

------------------
To Escape Velocity: Nova and Beyond!
--------------
Millennium. Its coming, prepare for it.
Coming to the [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiaSW.com/games/ev/chronicles.html"]EV Chronicles[/url].

#812 Idiot_box

conspirator

Group: Members
Posts: 1,107
Joined: 28-June 00

Posted 06 March 2001 - 02:42 AM

Sixty-two cans of frozen Spam fall from the sky, laying waste to el spamo and Carnotaur in poetic justice.

Idiot_box notes the event, then notes that both respawn just fine.

Og decides to get a Spam cannon.

------------------
"What is luck? It is probability taken personally...it is bad math."
--Penn and Teller

"Speak softly and carry a big stick." --Theodore Roosevelt
+++++++++++++++++
"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
-Socrates

#813 Captain Carnotaur

Veteran Member

Group: Members
Posts: 6,944
Joined: 25-May 00
Gender:Male

Posted 06 March 2001 - 07:33 AM

Og can't get a Spam cannon because he must first register it with a mod, like Carnotaur.

------------------
To Escape Velocity: Nova and Beyond!
--------------
Millennium. Its coming, prepare for it.
Coming to the [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiaSW.com/games/ev/chronicles.html"]EV Chronicles[/url].

#814 Guest_Skippy_*

Group: Guests

Posted 06 March 2001 - 04:49 PM

However, El Spamo's email address is suddenly corrupted by an FBI agent, and so El Spamo cannot register the Spam cannon.

El Spamo downloads the demo, and Cap'n Hector harrasses him by constantly taking away ammunition.

#815 Captain Carnotaur

Veteran Member

Group: Members
Posts: 6,944
Joined: 25-May 00
Gender:Male

Posted 06 March 2001 - 07:41 PM

Then, Carnotaur spits a little AI Glob at the FBI agent, who is eaten by the purple AI Glob, which then returns to the main glob; Carnotaur.

------------------
To Escape Velocity: Nova and Beyond!
--------------
Millennium. Its coming, prepare for it.
Coming to the [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiaSW.com/games/ev/chronicles.html"]EV Chronicles[/url].

#816 Captain Carnotaur

Veteran Member

Group: Members
Posts: 6,944
Joined: 25-May 00
Gender:Male

Posted 07 March 2001 - 12:21 PM

Then the FBI agent pops out of the purple glob's mouth, and runs off to Area 51 to tell the scientists, secret agents, etc. there of his new discovery. But then, Carnotaur learns of what the FBI agent did, and sends his army off to attack area 51. In the ensuing chaos, half the base is destroyed, Carnotaur suffers no losses and gets some new tech, and the FBI dude is killed.

Getting back to base, Carnotaur analyzes the new "Anti-Lizard Gun" which can kill any lizard in one shot. Carno then sets off in search of the lizards to test the new lizard gun on...

------------------
To Escape Velocity: Nova and Beyond!
--------------
Millennium. Its coming, prepare for it.
Coming to the [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiaSW.com/games/ev/chronicles.html"]EV Chronicles[/url].

#817 Idiot_box

conspirator

Group: Members
Posts: 1,107
Joined: 28-June 00

Posted 07 March 2001 - 01:39 PM

*Pop!* *Ptwiiiiiing!* *Pop!* *Pop!* *Ptweiiiiiing!* *SzcTHUD!*

After two missed shots, the third sniper bullet shaves Carnotaur's head clean off. It rolls a little ways in the sand. Carnotaur respawns, and it's about this time that he realized the label on the gun didn't say "lizard killer," but "gizzard filler." Carnotaur had found a device that shot gizzards. Realizing this, Carnotaur runs away from the device, and back to Area 51.

Og finds a SPAM Cannon in the rubble, and attatches it to his plane before taking off again....

------------------
"What is luck? It is probability taken personally...it is bad math."
--Penn and Teller

"Speak softly and carry a big stick." --Theodore Roosevelt
+++++++++++++++++
"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
-Socrates

#818 Captain Carnotaur

Veteran Member

Group: Members
Posts: 6,944
Joined: 25-May 00
Gender:Male

Posted 07 March 2001 - 03:27 PM

But then Og get's shot down by Captain Hector flying around in an invincible F-16 Hornet. Og tries to fly in his plane over 1,000 times, but Hector shoots him down every time. Og is forced to register the Spam Cannon with Carnotaur, who by that time has gotten back the Gizzard Cannon and is now using it to grab a Lizard Cannon from Area 51.

------------------
To Escape Velocity: Nova and Beyond!
--------------
Millennium. Its coming, prepare for it.
Coming to the [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiaSW.com/games/ev/chronicles.html"]EV Chronicles[/url].

#819 Mag Steelglass

fogey

Group: Members
Posts: 1,768
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Gender:Male
Location:Portland, OR

Posted 07 March 2001 - 06:29 PM

Captain Hector's plane runs out of fuel, and he crashes in the Marianas(sp?) Trench, and is stuck down there forever. Og then loads up his plane with a spam cannon, and heads off to do battle with Carnotaur's army. The United Nations passes an act requiring that Carnotaur's army be able to take losses in fights, and Og manages to kill of half of Carnotaur's army with his singly load of spam. He heads off to a secret base to reload. The Carnotaur gets the lizard killer gun, and goes off to hunt down the lizards. Because of their superior sniping abilities, however, Carnotaur gets killed, and the lizard gun self-destructs. The Carnotaur respawns, and gets an ACME Power Shield™, capable of protecting its user from all manner of weapons and harmful stuff. He then gets a backpack, loads it up with rocks, and heads off to get the lizards.

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"I am the supreme dictator of the universe, it's just that nobody knows about it yet."
"Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow."

#820 Asc

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 418
Joined: 26-May 01

Posted 07 March 2001 - 07:08 PM

Captain Hector, who is still in the trench(but this dosen't really matter, as he's omnipotent), changes the properties of the shield so it sees itself as a dangerous object. This is not healthy for anyone in/near the shield.

*the explosion singes a tumbleweed*

*the tumbleweed, limping slightly, blows across the screen*

Yes, I know it's spam. Ssh. I'm probably sleep deprived.

#821 Captain Carnotaur

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Group: Members
Posts: 6,944
Joined: 25-May 00
Gender:Male

Posted 07 March 2001 - 10:38 PM

But Og's Spam Cannon self destructs when Hector suddenly reappears because he is everywhere, is invincible, and cannot be killed or run out of fuel.

Then, Carnotaur throws 72 boulders at the lizards and crushes him both. As an award, Carno's army get's quadrupled.

------------------
To Escape Velocity: Nova and Beyond!
--------------
Millennium. Its coming, prepare for it.
Coming to the [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiaSW.com/games/ev/chronicles.html"]EV Chronicles[/url].

#822 Idiot_box

conspirator

Group: Members
Posts: 1,107
Joined: 28-June 00

Posted 07 March 2001 - 10:57 PM

The lizards respawn, set Carnotaur's respawn point between the two of them, turn on invincibility shields which are, of course, invincible, and then snipe Carnotaur until the sun dies out and the earth is eradicated.

Carnotaur keeps respawning but is sniped almost immediately each time, and is unable to get out of the respawn cycle no matter what he or anyone else does. His armies are useless against the invincibility shields, and eventually take to destroying themselves for fun.

Hector finally realizes he's not only on the wrong webboard, but in the wrong universe as well. Hector dissapears into the sunset, never to be seen or heard from on this board again.

Idiot_box burrows a little deeper into the sand.

Og spontaneously respawns.

------------------
"What is luck? It is probability taken personally...it is bad math."
--Penn and Teller

[This message has been edited by Idiot_box (edited 03-07-2001).]

"Speak softly and carry a big stick." --Theodore Roosevelt
+++++++++++++++++
"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
-Socrates

#823 Captain Carnotaur

Veteran Member

Group: Members
Posts: 6,944
Joined: 25-May 00
Gender:Male

Posted 08 March 2001 - 07:48 AM

But then Carno's army stops trashing Las Vegas and lays 1,000 mines around the two lizards. As they explode, the lizards are caught off balance, and Carnotaur is able to get away and get his own invinci-shields. The lizards try to shoot him again, but they fail, and then crushed once again by 720 boulders.

------------------
To Escape Velocity: Nova and Beyond!
--------------
Millennium. Its coming, prepare for it.
Coming to the [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiaSW.com/games/ev/chronicles.html"]EV Chronicles[/url].

#824 Asc

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 418
Joined: 26-May 01

Posted 08 March 2001 - 11:56 AM

Hector is gone, possibly forever, but a H.E.C.T.O.R. appears on the horison....

Yes, I know it's spam. Ssh. I'm probably sleep deprived.

#825 OctoberFost

deposed despot

Group: Imported Banned Users
Posts: 7,534
Joined: 11-January 00

Posted 08 March 2001 - 12:52 PM

Suddenly, Zorro appears and slays te evil H.E.C.T.O.R., and then he revives the lizard...

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You're just jealous that the voices talk to me.
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