Ambrosia Software Web Board: By Edict - Ambrosia Software Web Board

By edict of the ATT junta, upon pain of pain: All bacon is to be cooked in a frying pan. Questions regarding this edict shall be submitted to the Commission for the Inquisitorial Infliction of Suffering.

Thankfully there's still some sense around here.

Yay a public sticky thread!

Other pork products may still be prepared at one's own discretion, correct?

There are no other pork products.

I like my bacon crunchy.

Can we still cook it in a frying pan that is in a microwave?

I win!

This post has been edited by undead_shadow: 16 March 2009 - 05:16 PM

Thank you for your inquiry regarding the "All bacon must be cooked in a frying pan" edict. It has been forwarded for the consideration of Commission for the Inquisitorial Infliction of Suffering. The Commission will meet to consider all factors - under their purview - before issuing a response.


Thank you for your inquiry regarding the "All bacon must be cooked in a frying pan" edict. It has been forwarded for the consideration of Commission for the Inquisitorial Infliction of Suffering. The Commission is currently considering the most inventive solution to the question of a certain recent inquiry, and will move to considering your question at nearest opportunity.

Well I don't see how this could possibly go wrong.

You're supposed to use a frying pan? s###, I've been following this recipe for so long.. No wonder it hasn't tasted that good.

I just ate bacon. It was awesome.

I just ate steak.

It was better...

(Oh no he didn't?!?!?!?!?!?!)

Kind Sir, would it be acceptable to cook my bacon with a sprinkling of salt in order to create a crunchy tasty salty bacon snack?

Thank you for your inquiry regarding the "All bacon must be cooked in a frying pan" edict. It has been forwarded for the consideration of Commission for the Inquisitorial Infliction of Suffering. Unfortunately, the Commission is still debating the merits of hot pokers versus "the ginger-beer trick" in regards to Luke's earlier inquiry, and it may be some time before they are able to address your inquiry.

Oh great. So I just get ignored

This is HERESY. Everybody knows that real bacon is cooked on a shovel in the firebox of a steam train, with eggs.

Yeah...see for those of us not in the UK we have enough money to afford our own stoves. We don't have to use old trains.

This post has been edited by Rickton: 19 March 2009 - 07:28 PM

That's the trick really. They try to fool you into thinking that places like London actually exist. I've been pretty sure for a while now that the entirety of Britain is actually a giant mobile community that does nothing but ride around in trains all day throwing jars of Grey Poupon mustard at each other. prophile's comments just back this up.


Edit: Grey, not gray, silly old American that I am.

This post has been edited by GutlessWonder: 19 March 2009 - 08:00 PM

I defy the edict and instead cook my bacon with a minigun!

Miniguns are only useful for bacon bits.

This edict leads me to the inquiry of what is considered bacon? Is it just the belly based bacon? Does the cooking of Canadian bacon, which is from the pig's back meat, have to be done in a frying pan? What about other types of bacon?

I would also purpose the addition to the edict of: Bacon may only be cooked with a cast iron frying pan, for the use of a nonstick frying pan is the wrong way of cooking bacon.

Thank you for your inquiry regarding the "All bacon must be cooked in a frying pan" edict. It has been forwarded for the consideration of Commission for the Inquisitorial Infliction of Suffering. Unfortunately, the Commission members are presently demonstrating the merits of their respective positions in the "poker versus ginger" debate by means of personal demonstration. The remaining committee members will then move to address the inquiry backlog with all available haste.

And incidentally, Shlimazel, those miniguns are intended for the defense of the ATT and tributary forums (including, but not limited to, the Briefing Room, Officer's Club, Engineering Department and B&B). The use of said miniguns in the manufacture of Bacon Bits is entirely nubsauce.

What if you threw bacon at our enemies and then mowed them down and made bacon bits? Two birds with one bullet.

Being the Grand Army of the ATT, I am of course aware of the need to conserve ammunition for use against the enemy. However, I discovered a small pile of bacon wearing little fluffy sweaters with the B&B on the front during a routine patrol the other day. When said bacon failed to respond to my challenge with the appropriate countersign I of course took immediate defensive action and aggressively engaged the hostile forces in a full blown pincer assault. Thanks to all of me possessing miniguns, I was able to ensure that the enemy came off the worse in the ensuing fracas.

I am afraid that most of the enemy bacon was utterly annihilated, however. We retrieved just one prisoner, mortally injured, and delivered it to the base hospital. Its condition is uncertain. I'm afraid it might not live out the night. We may be forced to interrogate it as it stands and chance the possibility of losing the prisoner.

As for the rest of the bacon, keeping in mind the thriving black market in bacon bits over in the Defcon boards I took the initiative to, picking off some of the fluff from the little sweaters first, sell the Defcon boards bacon bits at extremely high prices, turning quite a profit. Only half of this money made it to the ATT coffers, however; I'm afraid the rest seems to have vanished into thin air.