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The Zombie Simulator Those poor purple dots...

#26 User is offline   Lektor 

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Posted 11 February 2008 - 07:22 AM

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Welcome to the ATT!
"My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet."
-- Tom Sims


Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

#27 User is offline   Buffalo the Kid 

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Posted 11 February 2008 - 08:48 PM

Bout a month late there, pal!

And Pufer, have you been stealing the bodies of deceased GTW players lately?
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#28 User is offline   Pufer 

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Posted 12 February 2008 - 01:25 AM

I've not been stealing bodies at all, at least as far as I can recall. :P

-Pufer
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha

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Posted 12 February 2008 - 01:42 AM

Never mind. Turns out the guy managed to survive his own autopsy. I know people can survive open heart surgery, but in autopsies, the doctor knows that they are dead, so they aren't really gunna car about what gets disconnected... I say the coroner is in on it...
>.>
<.<
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Posted 12 February 2008 - 06:52 AM

View PostBuffalo the Kid, on Feb 12 2008, 01:48 AM, said:

Bout a month late there, pal!


The picture was in response to your 'What a sick topic this has become..." line.
"My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet."
-- Tom Sims


Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

#31 User is offline   Buffalo the Kid 

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Posted 12 February 2008 - 08:50 PM

I know.
I also know how to get away from zombies if they attack my school. Run to the 2nd level of the gym, (Theres the gym, then a ring of bleachers one floor up.), jump onto one of the basketball hoops, and climb up the winch cable that lifts it back into storage position. The winches are in a crawlspace above the ceiling. Apparently, one out of three zombies can effectively use a ladder, but none can climb a metal cord.
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#32 User is offline   Pufer 

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Posted 13 February 2008 - 01:31 AM

If zombies attack in sufficient numbers that you have to worry about it, by the time you do all that the school will be surrounded and you'll be stuck on the roof/in the crawlspace. Also, just because zombies can't climb ladders/winch cables, it doesn't mean those folks who have been bitten but have not yet succumbed can't. If someone dies after they struggle to the top of the winch cable, you got a zombie on your hands up top. If zombies attack, run away from them. Hope that there's someplace left to run back to.

-Pufer
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha

#33 User is offline   Buffalo the Kid 

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Posted 13 February 2008 - 08:11 PM

How long would this person have before they changed into a zombie? Less than a few minutes and I don't think I have to worry. It's a long cable.
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#34 User is offline   Pufer 

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Posted 13 February 2008 - 09:13 PM

Almost certainly more than a few minutes.

-Pufer
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha

#35 User is offline   G-Spark 

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Posted 13 February 2008 - 10:46 PM

Zombie transformations aren't instantaneous. It will take some time. What I would do is run home and grab my broom handle. What ever was connected to it has long since broken off and I can effectively use it as a weapon. I'm not sure how that will help against zombies though. I could always grab a shotgun...

This post has been edited by G-Spark: 14 February 2008 - 05:45 PM

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#36 User is offline   Pufer 

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Posted 14 February 2008 - 12:20 AM

View PostG-Spark, on Feb 13 2008, 08:46 PM, said:

Zombie transformations aren't instantaneous. It will take some time. What I would do is run home and grab my groom handle. [...] I'm not sure how that will help against zombies though.


Hah! That one is going on the all-time greatest typos list. "And what would you do if zombies attacked, G-Spark?" "Well, I'd run home and grab my dick. Don't know what the ###### it'd to, but that's not going to slow me down!"

Classic. :P

-Pufer
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha

#37 User is offline   Buffalo the Kid 

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Posted 14 February 2008 - 01:39 AM

I would drive my motorcycle off of a power line, and onto the head zombie, destroying it with a large explosion then somehow surviving. I'd follow that up with (what is supposed to be) a bad-ass less-than-ten-syllable line that every 5th grade boy that saw me say will be repeating for months. I'd then refuse to just blow up the building that the rest of the zombies were in and insisting that my only hope is to run all over town trying to find the only weapon that 1) can kill a zombie 2) is as big as me 3) has more pipes and fire starters than a bong shop. After that, I would come back to the building to find that all of the zombies had escaped. To finish it all off, I'd have a fight that leaves me bloody and lying on the ground, then shoot the last zombie with my last ounce of strength before sliding off of the dead body I was propped up on and passing out. When I woke up, I'd find out that the zombies were either a terrorist attack, or a corrupt government official's attemp to destroy the only person that knows he was trying to take over the country.

YAY! My first topic to go red!

For a while, I considered saying the most innocent thing that could be interpreted as sick and wrong that I could think of, just to see what your response to it would be...

This post has been edited by Buffalo the Kid: 14 February 2008 - 01:41 AM

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#38 User is offline   Pufer 

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Posted 14 February 2008 - 02:09 AM

View PostBuffalo the Kid, on Feb 13 2008, 11:39 PM, said:

I would drive my motorcycle off of a power line, and onto the head zombie, destroying it with a large explosion then somehow surviving. I'd follow that up with (what is supposed to be) a bad-ass less-than-ten-syllable line that every 5th grade boy that saw me say will be repeating for months. I'd then refuse to just blow up the building that the rest of the zombies were in and insisting that my only hope is to run all over town trying to find the only weapon that 1) can kill a zombie 2) is as big as me 3) has more pipes and fire starters than a bong shop. After that, I would come back to the building to find that all of the zombies had escaped. To finish it all off, I'd have a fight that leaves me bloody and lying on the ground, then shoot the last zombie with my last ounce of strength before sliding off of the dead body I was propped up on and passing out. When I woke up, I'd find out that the zombies were either a terrorist attack, or a corrupt government official's attemp to destroy the only person that knows he was trying to take over the country.

YAY! My first topic to go red!

For a while, I considered saying the most innocent thing that could be interpreted as sick and wrong that I could think of, just to see what your response to it would be...


There are a number of problems with that scenario. First, zombies are driven by a desire for flesh - they are entirely self-serving and self-motivated. As such, there is no zombie hierarchy or "head zombie," only a bunch of zombies all driven by and intent on one thing. Second, the zombies would follow you whilst you looked for your superweapon. While it would, in fact, be the case that they had escaped from the building, you'd still be able to find them right behind you. Third, your primary aim should be to not find yourself bloodied as zombie virus is blood borne. Open wound + zombie splatter = zombie. Fourth, zombies spread like wildfire, the odds of you getting them all, the terrorists not being infected themselves and spreading the virus back whereever they are, or the government official not running rampant through the Pentagon are virtually nil. The Zombie War has just begun, babe. When you wake up, you best be locking in for the long haul.

-Pufer
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha

#39 User is offline   Buffalo the Kid 

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Posted 14 February 2008 - 04:16 AM

I just had a random urge to make fun of those goddamn counter terrorist movies.

I'm actually looking forward to this Zombie War... The no open cuts thing does not really work out well for me, though... I tend to find myself unable to not pick scabs...

What happens if a werewolf gets bitten by a vampire, then by a zombie?
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Posted 14 February 2008 - 11:18 AM

View PostPufer, on Feb 14 2008, 05:20 AM, said:

Hah! That one is going on the all-time greatest typos list. "And what would you do if zombies attacked, G-Spark?" "Well, I'd run home and grab my dick. Don't know what the ###### it'd to, but that's not going to slow me down!"

Classic. :P

-Pufer


I'm ever so tempted to sig-quote that ;)
"My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet."
-- Tom Sims


Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

#41 User is offline   Buffalo the Kid 

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Posted 14 February 2008 - 02:47 PM

It is really funny, but you kinda need G-Spark's post, too. That would be too long...
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#42 User is offline   lemonyscapegoat 

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Posted 14 February 2008 - 03:42 PM

Why would you try to avoid becoming a zombie?
I guess so.

#43 User is offline   G-Spark 

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Posted 14 February 2008 - 05:46 PM

Ahahahahahahah!!!! :P That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever typed in my life.

This post has been edited by G-Spark: 14 February 2008 - 06:28 PM

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Posted 15 February 2008 - 12:42 AM

Aww... I missed it...

lemony, if you are a zombie, then you can't become a werewolf! DUH! Also, no cheese on Tuesday...
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#45 User is offline   Pufer 

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Posted 15 February 2008 - 01:51 AM

View Postlemonyscapegoat, on Feb 14 2008, 01:42 PM, said:

Why would you try to avoid becoming a zombie?


I don't want my stomach to burst from the overconsumption of raw human flesh.

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Posted 15 February 2008 - 10:11 AM

learn to diet?
I guess so.

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Posted 15 February 2008 - 11:56 AM

Or just stop yourself being turned in the first time. Much easier :P
"My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet."
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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

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Posted 15 February 2008 - 12:32 PM

If you're going to get turned into something, get turned into a vampire. Vampires are awesome. Or perhaps a Werewolf.
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Posted 15 February 2008 - 12:50 PM

I'm not sure which I'd choose, given the option. If I could be a daywalker, I'd be a vampire, no doubt!
"My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet."
-- Tom Sims


Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

#50 User is offline   G-Spark 

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Posted 15 February 2008 - 01:50 PM

View PostPufer, on Feb 14 2008, 03:09 AM, said:

There are a number of problems with that scenario. First, zombies are driven by a desire for flesh - they are entirely self-serving and self-motivated. As such, there is no zombie hierarchy or "head zombie," only a bunch of zombies all driven by and intent on one thing. Second, the zombies would follow you whilst you looked for your superweapon. While it would, in fact, be the case that they had escaped from the building, you'd still be able to find them right behind you. Third, your primary aim should be to not find yourself bloodied as zombie virus is blood borne. Open wound + zombie splatter = zombie. Fourth, zombies spread like wildfire, the odds of you getting them all, the terrorists not being infected themselves and spreading the virus back whereever they are, or the government official not running rampant through the Pentagon are virtually nil. The Zombie War has just begun, babe. When you wake up, you best be locking in for the long haul.

-Pufer
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I'm now tempted to make a movie about a zombie invasion. A bunch of kids have to fight off a zombie army while trying to reach the Pentagon or something.

I say you should get turned into a Paladin.

This post has been edited by G-Spark: 15 February 2008 - 01:50 PM

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