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It's been a while since I actually had an occasion to ask a girl out, but these days I think I could do it without too much trouble.
It's been a while..
#26
- Ehhhhh...no?
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Posted 28 August 2007 - 03:27 AM
"For a writing to be a writing it must continue to 'act' and to be readable even when what is called the author of the writing no longer answers for what he has written..."
Jacques Derrida, "Signature Event Context"
Jacques Derrida, "Signature Event Context"
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#28
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Posted 28 August 2007 - 10:52 AM
Sometimes it can be, especially if you're unsure if she likes you or if you're afraid of rejection. Depends on the guy.
At last he came to a door, with these words in glowing emeralds: THE END OF THE WORLD. He did not hesitate. He opened the door and stepped through.
#30
- earstwhile
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Posted 28 August 2007 - 08:32 PM
I think the answer to that is a definate....maybe.
No, seriously, I think for most people that definately IS the hardest part.
No, seriously, I think for most people that definately IS the hardest part.
Hyperbole is the best thing ever!
#31
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Posted 28 August 2007 - 09:05 PM
moonunit4eva, on Aug 28 2007, 12:00 PM, said:
I always figured everyone was afriad of rejection. Like.. it would sort of cancel things out.
For me it's always been less about rejection and more about deciding that remaining friends with said person was more important than the possibility of having things become awkward between us after being rejected.
#32
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Posted 28 August 2007 - 11:41 PM
Rejection isn't really the issue for me. I'm simply not sure how the subject is supposed to be approached tactfully, nor do I know in what direction the conversation is supposed to move from there regardless of her answer.
-Pufer
-Pufer
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha
#34
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Posted 29 August 2007 - 12:36 AM
I would imagine so, but then I would have to tactfully approach the subject of my inclination to exercise said male inclinations, which is an entirely different problem.
-Pufer
-Pufer
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha
#35
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Posted 29 August 2007 - 01:37 AM
Pufer, why not just make it up as you go along? If you have to 'know' everything that takes half the fun out of life. 
At last he came to a door, with these words in glowing emeralds: THE END OF THE WORLD. He did not hesitate. He opened the door and stepped through.
#37
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Posted 29 August 2007 - 06:47 PM
Mackilroy, on Aug 29 2007, 12:37 AM, said:
Pufer, why not just make it up as you go along? If you have to 'know' everything that takes half the fun out of life.
I don't get it when I've gone too far. Some people can choose the right action and be tactful in real time, I have to plan it out.
moonunit4eva, on Aug 29 2007, 02:03 PM, said:
I'm sure that even when Pufer doesn't make it up as he goes along, it would seem he is.
Indeed. I'm very good at pretending to be spontaneous.
-Pufer
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -The Buddha
#39
- Rabid Haiku Generator
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Posted 30 August 2007 - 01:42 AM
I like a woman that knows what she wants, and isn't afraid to go for it. I think a pretty major complaint that basically every man has is that they generally have no ######ing clue what women want. A large part of that, I'd expect, is due to society putting restrictions on proper female behavior. However it got started, it really does hurt both genders. Women don't get what they want because they are afraid to be completely open (because people will call them sluts or whatever), and guys are always mystified and bungling along.
Plus, I figure if both genders go ahead and ask somebody out, that's double the odds that one of them won't be too afraid of rejection to go for it. That's twice as many possible relationships right there. It's hard being the one to have to make every move all the time, and while society eventually makes men get thicker skin, it'd be a lot better if both sides could get involved in starting a relationship and making everyone happy in it.
And yeah, I have to say, the first step really is the hardest part. If those females out there don't believe it, they should give it a try
. If those females aren't happy waiting around for the guy to make a move, they should do something about it.
Plus, I figure if both genders go ahead and ask somebody out, that's double the odds that one of them won't be too afraid of rejection to go for it. That's twice as many possible relationships right there. It's hard being the one to have to make every move all the time, and while society eventually makes men get thicker skin, it'd be a lot better if both sides could get involved in starting a relationship and making everyone happy in it.
And yeah, I have to say, the first step really is the hardest part. If those females out there don't believe it, they should give it a try
. If those females aren't happy waiting around for the guy to make a move, they should do something about it.
#41
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Posted 30 August 2007 - 09:28 AM
I can understand if that's the way it has to be out of shyness. But what about when it's laziness? What if you don't really care for the girl, she makes a move. Now what? Even if you don't like her, will you tell her otherwise?
Whatever happens..happens.
#42
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Posted 30 August 2007 - 05:05 PM
I'm not afraid to shoot somebody down if I'm not interested. Why waste everybody's time? But of course I'll be nice about it, tell them I'm flattered, and tell them that they should try to find somebody that can return their feelings. I'm willing to try to get to know somebody, but if there's not going to be anything come out of it, it's better if both parties go their separate ways.
#43
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Posted 31 August 2007 - 12:20 AM
Sometimes I think that girls need to be more forward sometimes too, which is a huge thing for me because I was raised to NEVER ask a guy out. Apparantly it's not lady-like, and it's done out of desperation, and if a guy really liked you, he'd do it. But I'm realizing that this really isn't the case. It's a big hurdle for me personally to get over, but I think if the circumstances are right.. why shouldn't a girl go for a guy that she really truly likes? Especially if she thinks something is there between them. And KNOWS for a fact, that he's a nice guy. If she doesn't go for it once in a while.. All the nice ones are going to be lonely for a while - and that's not really fair is it?
But one bad experience is enough to make me say no to all that. I asked this one guy out.. I thought, "Hell.. why not?" BAD move. I mean.. REALLY bad move. It might've had something to do with that guy specifically, but still.
But one bad experience is enough to make me say no to all that. I asked this one guy out.. I thought, "Hell.. why not?" BAD move. I mean.. REALLY bad move. It might've had something to do with that guy specifically, but still.
Whatever happens..happens.
#44
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Posted 31 August 2007 - 12:30 AM
And yet guys are supposed to just get over their bad experiences and try again .
.
#45
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Posted 31 August 2007 - 12:41 AM
But you've got the tougher skin for it. I've been kind of dating a guy for a VERY short while now, and am already like.. f;laksdjf!JLK@1j4.
Ya see what I mean?
Ya see what I mean?
Whatever happens..happens.
#46
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Posted 31 August 2007 - 01:47 AM
We're not born with the tougher skin, you know.
#48
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Posted 31 August 2007 - 01:58 AM
mrxak is one of those who has yet to acquire the thicker skin.
Just kidding.
You might think that, moon, because guys aren't as emotional as girls, typically.
Just kidding.
You might think that, moon, because guys aren't as emotional as girls, typically.
At last he came to a door, with these words in glowing emeralds: THE END OF THE WORLD. He did not hesitate. He opened the door and stepped through.
#50
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Posted 31 August 2007 - 02:03 AM
So I figured. Seems to me it's partly societal training, and part we're born like that. Still, it ain't exactly a picnic for us either. Not that you're saying that. 
At last he came to a door, with these words in glowing emeralds: THE END OF THE WORLD. He did not hesitate. He opened the door and stepped through.
