Dear Sluggy: week two

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Dear Sluggy: week two

#1 Slug

Ravenous

Group: Members
Posts: 3,746
Joined: 03-March 00
Location:The Cabbage Patch

Posted 21 October 2000 - 01:30 AM

My weekly advice collumn has already become quite a success, but to avoid bloated topics (and to make fun of hewman newspapers) I must make this a weekly collum.

Many readers have been asking me technical questions regarding a female goddess from ancient hewman mythology called Hera and they are confusing me greatly. This collumn is to answer your in-universe Ares problems, and while this collunm will be reposted every Friday I will answer the sensible ones. And while I may be sarcastic in my responses, I am merely making fun of hewman newspapers.

But enough about me now. I will now answer your tiring and annoying questions.

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Good laws are produced by extremely bad manners.
-Alduran Pirate Captain Macrobius
StarLance

[image removed]

#2 Idiot_box

conspirator

Group: Members
Posts: 1,107
Joined: 28-June 00

Posted 21 October 2000 - 02:52 PM

Dear Sluggy,

How may I serve you, my lord? And would you like some really salty fries with that?

Signed,

Confused Cantharan

"Speak softly and carry a big stick." --Theodore Roosevelt
+++++++++++++++++
"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
-Socrates

#3 Slug

Ravenous

Group: Members
Posts: 3,746
Joined: 03-March 00
Location:The Cabbage Patch

Posted 21 October 2000 - 06:56 PM

Dear Cantharan:

I already have many servants at my disposal, but if you truly insist you can clean the exterior of my carrier with your toothbrush and a 15-minute supply of oxygen....

Slug

------------------
Good laws are produced by extremely bad manners.
-Alduran Pirate Captain Macrobius
StarLance

[image removed]

#4 Fleet Admiral Darkk

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 2,003
Joined: 16-January 00

Posted 22 October 2000 - 07:31 PM

Dear Wise and Honorable Sluggy,
What are Salrilian gateships armed with? I'd guess plasma turrets, an enhanced T-bolt, and enhanced Magno pulses, but I might be wrong. Please enlighten me (pun intended).

------------------
Me: You ******* IDIOTS!! That planet was INHABITED!!!
Them: Ooops
Me: Let's resume this disscussion at the admiralty court near airlock 13.
[immediatly following the first disrupter missle test]

"In literature as in love we are astounded by what is chosen by others." Andre Maurois

Onii7/Frinkruds and his funky forums
macgamer.net

#5 Slug

Ravenous

Group: Members
Posts: 3,746
Joined: 03-March 00
Location:The Cabbage Patch

Posted 22 October 2000 - 09:44 PM

Dear Nijayias:

Salrilian Gateships come in many different varieties; no two are alike, but the general weaponry they are equipped with is a dimensional Recall system, a Chronoshock generator, homing animatter flares, ion batteries, and a deflector dish. Unfortunately, most of the Gateships of the Stellar Navy of Salril were destroyed in the Ring Battle *grumble*

Slug

(Glue Bubble, post your question here)

------------------
Good laws are produced by extremely bad manners.
-Alduran Pirate Captain Macrobius
StarLance

[image removed]

#6 Pyro

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 2,226
Joined: 13-July 00

Posted 23 October 2000 - 04:58 PM

Dear sluggy,

you deleted my post...

why?
<insert name here>

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#7 Slug

Ravenous

Group: Members
Posts: 3,746
Joined: 03-March 00
Location:The Cabbage Patch

Posted 23 October 2000 - 09:20 PM

Dear <insert name here>

I delete useless commentry. I only take questions, not comments. This is an advice collumn, not a forum.

Slug

------------------
Good laws are produced by extremely bad manners.
-Alduran Pirate Captain Macrobius
StarLance

[image removed]

#8 theKestrel

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 1,007
Joined: 02-April 00

Posted 24 October 2000 - 12:18 AM

Dear Wise and Honourable Sluggy:

I wondered if you have a solution to acute tendonitis in the wrists. It seems to afflict me after multiple hours playing Warcraft 2.

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And so the problem remained; lots of people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches. Many were increasingly of the opinion that they had all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that the trees had been a bad move and that no one should ever have left the oceans. - Douglass Adams

[This message has been edited by theKestrel (edited 10-24-2000).]

Growth through the Cross.

#9 Cotton Mouse

Member

Group: Imported Banned Users
Posts: 2,816
Joined: 11-January 00

Posted 24 October 2000 - 01:05 PM

Obviously, your obligations can't allow you to touch this question with a goddamn 10 foot pole-

-deleted-

[This message has been edited by Cotton Mouse (edited 10-24-2000).]

#10 Cotton Mouse

Member

Group: Imported Banned Users
Posts: 2,816
Joined: 11-January 00

Posted 24 October 2000 - 01:15 PM

-deleted-

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little ****ers stole my sig

[This message has been edited by Cotton Mouse (edited 10-24-2000).]

#11 Slug

Ravenous

Group: Members
Posts: 3,746
Joined: 03-March 00
Location:The Cabbage Patch

Posted 24 October 2000 - 09:45 PM

Dear Kestrel:

I believe a meat cleaver directed at the wrists then swung sharply enough can solve your problem of stiff hands. Oh wait, you're a hewman....

Compression (wrist band), coolness (ice), and rest should help your tendons recover.

Slug

------------------
Good laws are produced by extremely bad manners.
-Alduran Pirate Captain Macrobius
StarLance

[image removed]

#12 Slug

Ravenous

Group: Members
Posts: 3,746
Joined: 03-March 00
Location:The Cabbage Patch

Posted 24 October 2000 - 09:48 PM

Dear Cotten Mouse:

You need a vacation. May I recommend the blood spas of Gaitor? The nuclear dawn on Axis? Or perhaps the fuzz gardens on Omisha Prime?

Slug

------------------
Good laws are produced by extremely bad manners.
-Alduran Pirate Captain Macrobius
StarLance

[image removed]

#13 Pallas Athene

Lame space monkey

Group: Members
Posts: 2,636
Joined: 27-February 00
Gender:Not Telling
Location:Omisha

Posted 25 October 2000 - 07:47 AM

Dear Wise and Honorable Sluggy:

What does a class of 600 mean again?

-Entity

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-Pallas Athene, {M}ilitia Aeriane and Dysian Beta representative to the Obish Consensus
ThinkFish, and good things will come.
[This message has been edited by Pallas Athene (edited 11-27-2830).]

#14 Sargatanus

Haruspex

Group: Moderators
Posts: 1,443
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Gender:Male
Location:Minneapolis MN

Posted 25 October 2000 - 11:14 AM

Dear Wise and Honourable Sluggy:

I have a bit of an image problem. I try to present myself as a powerful, yet generous, empathic, enlightened and cool demeanored leader. But it seems that everyone sees me as some sort of sword-flailing, genocidal, megalomaniacal lunatic! When I try out a new terroforming technique, I get acused of testing some sort of super weapon. When I built the largest public knowledge base, it got ignored and I was acused of putting some facade for building a huge armada!

So what's the deal? Is the entire galaxy insane? Am I actually insane and don't realize it? Is this all just some sort of huge misunderstanding fueled by social stigma? Help me out here.

Hassled Haruspex.

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Throughout their history these "unenlightened" beings have continually opposed and fought abuses of power wrought by their own bretheren. We, as the prophets would do well to learn from these Humans.
-Final statement of the Salrilian reformist Sirthis shortly before his execution.

4 6 3 8 A B K 2 4 A L G M O R 3 Y X 24 89 R P S T O V A L

Shameless advertisement

#15 Slug

Ravenous

Group: Members
Posts: 3,746
Joined: 03-March 00
Location:The Cabbage Patch

Posted 25 October 2000 - 05:45 PM

Dear Sargatanus:

Assuming the position of haruspex for the Salrilians does require a lot of arrogance. I'll let you in on a little secret: Haruspexes are only to be used as scapegoats for the people to blame their problems on. The real power is held by the generals and prophets of Salril,
several of whom have already defected to me. Posted Image

Slug

------------------
Good laws are produced by extremely bad manners.
-Alduran Pirate Captain Macrobius
StarLance

[image removed]

#16 Slug

Ravenous

Group: Members
Posts: 3,746
Joined: 03-March 00
Location:The Cabbage Patch

Posted 25 October 2000 - 05:46 PM

Dear Pallas Athene:

An overcrowded school

Slug

------------------
Good laws are produced by extremely bad manners.
-Alduran Pirate Captain Macrobius
StarLance

[image removed]

#17 Fleet Admiral Darkk

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 2,003
Joined: 16-January 00

Posted 27 October 2000 - 10:44 PM

Dear Wise and Honorable Sluggy:

How the ·´¬¬ do you blow up something 13km long, armed with the resources of an entire species? That Starlance is driving me insane! I've tried antimatter, a supernova, what the ƒ¨ç°ˆ˜© ·´¬¬ will work?

Not like I have much in the way of tools. I've got lots of interesting toys, but they're one-shot deals, and not reliable to boot. I'd wait for Sargatanus or the Phylydians, but they're taking too long.

Somewhat Frustrated Nijayias

------------------
Me: You ******* IDIOTS!! That planet was INHABITED!!!
Them: Ooops
Me: Let's resume this disscussion near airlock 13.
[immediatly following the first disrupter missle test]

"In literature as in love we are astounded by what is chosen by others." Andre Maurois

Onii7/Frinkruds and his funky forums
macgamer.net

#18 Slug

Ravenous

Group: Members
Posts: 3,746
Joined: 03-March 00
Location:The Cabbage Patch

Posted 27 October 2000 - 11:28 PM

Dear Somewhat Frustrated Nijayias:

You see, you're using all the wrong tools. OO! ME NIJAYIAS ME SPEAK BIG ME AS SHARP AS BOWLING BALL.

If you can't beat it, run away screaming!

Slug

------------------
Good laws are produced by extremely bad manners.
-Alduran Pirate Captain Macrobius
StarLance

[image removed]

#19 Guest_Skippy_*

Group: Guests

Posted 28 October 2000 - 11:19 AM

Dear Wise and Honorable Sluggy:

Why is Power Rangers so popular?

Signed-
Power Rangers Hater

#20 Slug

Ravenous

Group: Members
Posts: 3,746
Joined: 03-March 00
Location:The Cabbage Patch

Posted 28 October 2000 - 12:18 PM

Dear Power Rangers Hater:

I have found that humans like killing things, but don't like having the thing they are killing die. Maybe they're all watching to see what will happen if a Power Ranger ever sneezes inside his/her helmet.

Slug

------------------
Good laws are produced by extremely bad manners.
-Alduran Pirate Captain Macrobius
StarLance

[image removed]

#21 Avatara

Guardian

Group: Moderators
Posts: 12,036
Joined: 05-July 00
Gender:Male

Posted 30 October 2000 - 10:12 PM

Dear wise and honourable Sluggy:

Don't you think it is time for week three?

-The great Avatara.

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"Sometimes I get confused whether I'm posting on ATT or in the War Room. But then I remind myself: If it's moderators acting scatter-brained and foolish, then it's the War Room*.

*Unless it's Avatara, of course."
-- From the memoirs of Sundered Angel

#22 Slug

Ravenous

Group: Members
Posts: 3,746
Joined: 03-March 00
Location:The Cabbage Patch

Posted 30 October 2000 - 11:18 PM

Dear Readers:

I know, I remembered, but I've decided to make this a monthly collumn, as a weekly collumn would clutter the boards with locked topics. Be happy.

Slug

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Those who make up the rules, do not play the game. We, however, do.
-Imperial Captain Alexi Darvonsal
StarLance

[image removed]

#23 Guest_Sumo_*

Group: Guests

Posted 01 November 2000 - 02:12 PM

Dear Sluggy:

How do I lose weight to fit in my spaceship cabin?

Sumo

#24 Avatara

Guardian

Group: Moderators
Posts: 12,036
Joined: 05-July 00
Gender:Male

Posted 01 November 2000 - 05:18 PM

Dear oh wise and honourable Sluggy: Posted Image

A riddle for you:

Who doesn't register, imitates people poorly, pisses off Sargatanus a lot (occasionally you), and is trying to fit in his spaceship?

--Me

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#25 Fleet Admiral Darkk

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 2,003
Joined: 16-January 00

Posted 01 November 2000 - 08:01 PM

Dear wise and honorable Sluggy:
Why is Darvonsol so angry at me? It's not like I'm that nonhuman - Nijayias:Humans::wolves:dogs (a (d)evolved from

. I'm sure, being a very intelegent Salrilian, you know by all that I mean the relationship between humans and Nijayias mirrors that of dogs and wolves. I didn't even threaten him first! Ok, I DID shoot first, but the stupid human asked me to.

------------------
Me: You ******* IDIOTS!! That planet was INHABITED!!!
Them: Ooops
Me: Let's resume this disscussion near airlock 13.
[immediatly following the first disrupter missle test]

[This message has been edited by Fleet Admiral Darkk (edited 11-01-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Fleet Admiral Darkk (edited 11-01-2000).]

"In literature as in love we are astounded by what is chosen by others." Andre Maurois

Onii7/Frinkruds and his funky forums
macgamer.net