Ambrosia Software Web Board: The Officers Club Bar #5 - Ambrosia Software Web Board

*I'm still on the road, now posting from a hotel in Salt Lake City. That's why I haven't posted in a while. Whoo, boy.*

*Cicion unfreezes from his temporally static position and finds that everyone around him has moved and shifted instantaneously. Damn time shifts.

He also finds that the temporal stasis field only extended to his actual body, and so the drink he started pouring five days ago now fills the glass, covers most of the bar and is about an inch deep over almost the entire floor.* Uhhh, CleanDroid? *CleanDroid snaps to attention and starts cleaning up the mess. Cicion starts to work again behind the bar.*

Whew. Anyone for another round?

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"A camel is a horse done by commitee."
-Johannes Somary

9024 walks up to some semingly still people sitting at the bar, he tapps one on the sholder but his finger gets stuck in a area of air next to him. half an hour later he manages to pull it out.....
*pokes guy with stick* stick gets stuck, *throws empty cans at guy* cans stick in the air.......... (this is fun) *throws chair at guy* notices hes gone too far and quickly wanders to other side of the bar and nervosly drinks from his now empty hipflask.

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*BANG*....hehehehehe

Overrider sits in a very dark corner watching he happenings of the bar. As he takes a sip of his drink he keels over and dies for no aparent reason what so ever

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All hell that ends well -Me
Are you accusing me of planting the bomb in that building that I put a bomb in??? -Me
[url="http://"http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/pie.html"]Weebl and Bob[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.liquid2k.com/ethan_sucks/quiz6/pumpkin.jpg"] Pumpkin Puke[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.magleague.com"]MaG League- Overrider[/url]
The Underdogs Smiles:[url="http://"http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/gallery.htm"]Underdog Smiles[/url]

A temporal rift opens 5 minutes ago, sucks OV in and then spills him out next to his body.

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"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]

The rift knocks OV's drink over and some falls into his mouth. OV comes back to life for no apparent reason what so ever

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All hell that ends well -Me
Are you accusing me of planting the bomb in that building that I put a bomb in??? -Me
[url="http://"http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/pie.html"]Weebl and Bob[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.liquid2k.com/ethan_sucks/quiz6/pumpkin.jpg"] Pumpkin Puke[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.magleague.com"]MaG League- Overrider[/url]
The Underdogs Smiles:[url="http://"http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/gallery.htm"]Underdog Smiles[/url]

Hmm, you Salrillians are a strange lot Slug...,
and I think perhaps a little misunderstood.
But anyone who can drink Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters is ok by me, whatever about the brick!

Anic pauses to pop a coin into a vending machine, selects a medium sized Babel Fish from the menu and presses the appropriate button.

Pops used fish into recycle recepticle
Who needs technology Heh!

The time eddies are getting worse in here. Maybe the dampening field is acting up...
Time to replace the batteries perhaps, no pun intended.

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Oh, so it is another bug hunt then...

Overrider goes to find he super-megaton battereies needed for the forcefield.

After years of search he finalyl finds them but the bar has been destroyed by the eddies. OV goes back through a rift with the battereies

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All hell that ends well -Me
Are you accusing me of planting the bomb in that building that I put a bomb in??? -Me
[url="http://"http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/pie.html"]Weebl and Bob[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.liquid2k.com/ethan_sucks/quiz6/pumpkin.jpg"] Pumpkin Puke[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.magleague.com"]MaG League- Overrider[/url]
The Underdogs Smiles:Underdog"]http://community.the...ry.htm]Underdog Smiles[/URL]

Anic watched the ghostly glow of Overrider as he came in with the batteries, then went out to get the batteries, then came in with the batteries, then went out to get the batteries, then came in with the batteries, then went out to get the batteries, then came in with the batteries, then went out to get the batteries, then came in with the batteries, then went out to get the batteries, then came in with the batteries...

Rather amusing really, poor OV having gotten caught in a ghostly infinite time loop, half here, half not here - space lines mixed up with time lines. Quel bo***el!
Anic activates a contact on the BOSS, the Temporal Anchor System™®© launches an, well anchor at the shimmering surreal OV snagging him by the collar and dragging him back into the NOW relative to NOW...,

...pity he dropped one of the smegging batteries into the middle of last century..., (where it landed in a ghostly splat, turning into a very surprised black cat as it did so, which promptly ran off into the dust of the surrounds, chasing a little cloaked figure carrying a scythe as it ran away ...)

Do those batteries work in ones?


(A tiny darkly cloaked figure holding an proportionately tiny scythe lurking near the skirting board fades uptime into the octarine with a "SQUEAK")

81

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Oh, so it is another bug hunt then...

Yeah, they work in ones, they're so big they could probably work in halves

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All hell that ends well -Me
Are you accusing me of planting the bomb in that building that I put a bomb in??? -Me
[url="http://"http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/pie.html"]Weebl and Bob[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.liquid2k.com/ethan_sucks/quiz6/pumpkin.jpg"] Pumpkin Puke[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.magleague.com"]MaG League- Overrider[/url]
The Underdogs Smiles:[url="http://"http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/gallery.htm"]Underdog Smiles[/url]

What the heck? Weebl and Bob? Very funny - very strange. Where in the world did you dig that up OV?

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"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]

This is funny. Totally unrelated, but funny. I got it off of another forum I'm currently going to, a VB forum. Anyway:

In March 1992 a man living in Newton near Boston, Massachusetts received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that
he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away.

In April he received another and threw that one away too. The following month the credit card company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his card if he didn't send them $0.00 by return of post.

He called them, talked to them, they said it was a computer error and told him they'd take care of it.

The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome credit card figuring that if there were
purchases on his account it would put an end to his ridiculous predicament. However, in the first store that he produced his credit card in payment for his purchases he found that his card had been cancelled.

He called the credit card company who apologized for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it. The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue. Assuming that having spoken to the credit card company only the previous day the latest bill was yet another mistake he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out.

The next month he got a bill for $0.00 stating that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt.

Finally giving in he thought he would play the company at their own game and mailed them a check for $0.00. The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the credit card company nothing at all.

A week later, the man's bank called him asking him what he was doing writing a check for $0.00. After a lengthy explanation the bank replied that the $0.00 check had caused their check processing software to fail.

The bank could not now process ANY checks from ANY of their customers that day because the check for $0.00 was causing the computer to crash.

The following month the man received a letter from the credit card company claiming that his check had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he sent a check by return of post they would be taking steps to recover the debt. The man, who had been considering buying his wife a computer for her birthday, bought her a typewriter instead.

Heh..

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"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]

Quote

IRC one day, I said my eyes were really bleary and itchy. A guy named Hudson said I should wash with soap and water, he offered pie flavored soap and I said I hate pie, he game me a link to the donkey one

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All hell that ends well -Me
Are you accusing me of planting the bomb in that building that I put a bomb in??? -Me
[url="http://"http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/pie.html"]Weebl and Bob[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.liquid2k.com/ethan_sucks/quiz6/pumpkin.jpg"] Pumpkin Puke[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.magleague.com"]MaG League- Overrider[/url]
The Underdogs Smiles:[url="http://"http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/gallery.htm"]Underdog Smiles[/url]

That was just all too weird. I watched the pie one, the donkey one, the hair one and the Jazz one. Got a little repetitive. It is just a bunch of these egg shaped things that are driven onward by pie. Very very strange.

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"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]

There are some pretty good ones, try yarr and bull

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All hell that ends well -Me
Are you accusing me of planting the bomb in that building that I put a bomb in??? -Me
[url="http://"http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/pie.html"]Weebl and Bob[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.liquid2k.com/ethan_sucks/quiz6/pumpkin.jpg"] Pumpkin Puke[/url] | [url="http://"http://www.magleague.com"]MaG League- Overrider[/url]
The Underdogs Smiles:[url="http://"http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/gallery.htm"]Underdog Smiles[/url]

You on IM right now?

------------------
"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]

*Although the batteries augment the stabilization device, minor time eddies and warps still occur now and then. Cicion opens a bottle and starts pouring a drink into the glass. However, a small energy flux just above the bottle warps the drink back to when 9024 was throwing stuff on the guy at the bar and appears directly above his hip-flask. 9024, in the corner, suddenly finds that his previously empty flask is now full, and is drenched by the unexpected liquid.*

Hmm, how shall I solve this? Aha! *Drops the glass he was trying to fill into the warp. It appears below the warp an instant later. He pours the drink into the warp and it appears in the glass an instant later.* There we go.

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"A camel is a horse done by commitee."
-Johannes Somary

So the station's time slip buffer is running on half a battery...!
(Anic does a quick calculation)
That'll mean that a quarter of the station will be stable at any one time..., only we won't know which quarter, or how small the division's sub-divisions will be. And even when we do find the stable bits, they may or may not be there at any given moment, due to the uncertainty principle...
Interesting times, better get another battery...
Hmm, I need another drink to steady my uncertainties. Barkeep, a double Pan Galactic Gargleblaster please, and make sure its a fresh slice of lemon.


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Oh, so it is another bug hunt then...

thanks to time dilation, 9024 has just experianced being wet, dry, drunk and sober all at the same time! (and you wonder why he talks to pot plants?)

*9024 falls side ways with a gurgle of shock and imposibility*

then half an houre later... he gets up like nothing happend and talks with perfect sanity (ok, just a dash of insanity) to his faveriout pot plant in the corner.

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*BANG*....hehehehehe

[This message has been edited by 9024 (edited 07-18-2002).]

Shrout1 starts talking to a pot plant and the police bust in and arrest him.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

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"You will find that your device is highly non-functional...." - Bad Guy
[url="http://"http://www.shrout1.freewebsites.com"]My Webpage![/url]

9024 looks up.... the pot plant (<Jim) looks mildly desturbed that someone actualy talks to pot plants, then disaperes in a puff of smoke and lemonade.
mean wile 9024 makes a general nusence of him self and orders a refill for the hip-flask that he tossed at Taeskor Cicion.
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*BANG*....hehehehehe

[This message has been edited by 9024 (edited 07-20-2002).]

Slug notices his chair has eyebrows, and is starting to evolve a very long arm to grab his drink. Slug doesn't panic as the chair, in frustration, replaces the drink back on the table as chair had yet to evolve the ability to drink coffee.

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Time is the best teacher, yet it kills all of it's students.

An elephant jumps 6 measurements down, vertical from the thingy, and makes a sound like fresh breeze on doomsday. It then falls up, is shot, and POOF! Little tiny hamsters drift out of the quickly dissapating elephant cloud, and begin making important buisness deals with eachother.

Slug's chair grabs a hamster, and begins to gently kill it, by smashing it repeatedly against the floor. Which may very well be the ceiling. It all depends on if you order drinks or do.

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If you attack this, I can securely say, that you are insecure.

[This message has been edited by Hamster (edited 07-21-2002).]

and i thought i was wierd.

the lomonade pours its self in to a glass and starts to drown the hamsters.
suddenly a large group of insurance salesmen come in and start to sell insurance, the bar falls into caos.

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*BANG*....hehehehehe

The Death of Rats puts down his rodent sized cocktail with an oh SQUEAK!
There currently being no Death of Hamsters it falls to the Death of Rats to fill in and speed these little furries on their way to the hamster afterlife (lucky they're not lemmings!). No rest for the wicked. Can't go anywhere these days without work catching up. That's 24hr on-call for you...
Death of Rats swings his scythe through the nearest dead hamster's bewildered translucient after death ghost echo. It fades into the afterlife of hamsters. Death of Rats scuttles towards the next deceased hamster, crossing right through a pool of anti-time without ill-effect (there are advantages to being not alive )...

The station's bar cat eyes the robed rat skeleton warily from across the room as it swings its scythe at another hamster ghost. The cat was acutely aware that it had already used up six of its nine lives and proceeded to fight its instincts...

... Oh, what the hell, you're only a cat once. And cats chase things, especially things the size of rats...


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Oh, so it is another bug hunt then...

*The bar's cleandroid evolves into a fish, falls to the floor and dies.* So much for adapting to the environment. *The fish evolves into a cleandroid with vestigial gills.*

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"A camel is a horse done by commitee."
-Johannes Somary