Ambrosia Software Web Board: Sail: Chapter 1 - Ambrosia Software Web Board

Hi everyone! First I want to apologize for more or less abandoning the TS. That doesn't mean I forgot about you all, though. I've been working on a secret project for a few months, and it's finally time to share it with you.

I'm currently taking a novel writing class, so my semester project seemed obvious - adapt a TS. The novel is a loose adaptation of the events in alt-Cythera before Dark Mirror. But this is Cythera like you've never seen it. New characters, creatures, maps, storylines. Yes, it's a lot of retconning, so basically forget everything you've ever read about my characters.

I've thrown in a few special things just for you guys though. For example, I renamed the humans 'itherans' because nobody can actually agree on whether it's Sithera or Kithera, so I just cut off the problematic letter.

This is just the opening scene so far, with the first ever in-depth look at Katerei's (K's) people and culture. I have a lot more written (15 000+ words and counting) but it needs editing still. So, I hope you enjoy it, and I'll try to post more as it gets finished!

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[content now here]

This post has been edited by iKaterei: 14 December 2015 - 06:18 AM

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to comment here, but I enjoyed reading it and I'm eager to read more ^_^ I love the imagery and I think you did a good job making it foreign-but-not-too-foreign :) The idea of a real published novel that is somewhat related to Cythera is really exciting!

Very interesting and well-written. I'm curious as to what will happen next.

[nothing to see here]

This post has been edited by iKaterei: 14 December 2015 - 06:13 AM

Nice addition! I enjoyed reading it & am looking forward to reading chapter 2 tomorrow ^_^ I am curious what the words 'rin' and 'jouyen' mean? Maybe I'm supposed to figure that out as it goes along. I don't fully understand why K is so vehemently opposed to killing the wolflizards (maybe she feels related to them because she can turn into a wolf? :D), but it implies to me how much she values life and I wonder how she's going to make the transition from this to working with Selax.

Thanks for posting ^_^

BreadWorldMercy453, on 06 December 2013 - 09:49 PM, said:

A jouyen is basically a clan or tribe, and the Rin is Katerei's tribe.

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Because fighting them puts her jouyen in unnecessary danger, only a few years after a war wiped most of them out. As she sees it, the elders are sacrificing lives to defend something that's not really important.

I was having trouble with that section in particular, but keep in mind that whatever I post here is essentially a draft for the final novel, so I'll take note of anything you're confused by and try to clarify during editing. I think the first few chapters will need heavy revision later on, but I'm going to try plowing ahead for awhile and see where that gets me.

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It is a mystery

I think it is wise for you to keep plowing through the novel before worrying about revisions ^_^ You wouldn't want to spend four years revising chapter one!

I see now why she disagreed with the killing-wolflizards decision so strongly. I'm not sure if the war had been mentioned in chapter one, but if it was I missed it (though now that I've read the second chapter, the comment about their tribe consisting mainly of children and old people makes sense). Maybe a little more emphasis on the danger of the wolflizards would've cleared it up for me? Then again, I'm probably a lousy alpha-reader, since I'm way more easily confused than your average reader :x Also I'm used to playing Cythera and quickly developing an overpowered character who doesn't consider any native fauna a threat...

This post has been edited by BreadWorldMercy453: 11 December 2013 - 04:34 PM

BreadWorldMercy453, on 07 December 2013 - 10:29 AM, said:

Haha, I hadn't thought of it in terms of a game, but I like that concept. The protagonist starts out worried about wildlife, and gets stronger and more experienced and learns to confront scarier things (at risk of giving away spoilers )