Ambrosia Software Web Board: Rasmus and Co. Inquiries. Part I - Ambrosia Software Web Board

Rasmus sat on his heels and waited for the old man's melodic voice to ring down the tube. Surely, it wouldn't be long now, he thought as he waited. And waited. And waited.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Danaë growing irritated and decided he had to leap into action, for her sake. Yet, the door with the strange symbols loomed tantalizingly above them, out of reach.

"I guess he didn't hear us," Pirro mused.

"Maybe we should all shout at the same time..."Rasmus began.

"Well, that was a wonderfully delightful bath," The metallic voice squawked from the bronze tube. "What's this? You still haven't continued down your path?"

"We're not quite that tall," Pirro protested. "So we can't reach it."

"Oh really? Well, my dear Pierro, look around! Surely something useful can be found!"

Pirro waved his torches around, casting away the flickering shadows. The skeletons had stopped and lay resting against the walls. Several coils of rope lay bundled in a corner. A pile of wooden planks and a hammer were stacked near the door from which they had entered. Nope, nothing immediately useful was in the room.

Well, there was a nice chair in front of the shattered glass on the wall, and it looked like a comfy chair. He walked over and sat down in the chair to think. Yep, it was indeed comfy.

Danaë snapped her fingers. "That's it. I'll sit in the chair, and you will lift the chair up to the next level. Then I'll stand up. Simple."

"Pirro!" she said. "Get up!"

"But it's comfy…"

"Up!"

Feoras spoke up. "I'm not sure we can lift you that high."

"Nonsense," she said, sitting down. "Lift it!"

Meanwhile, the skeletons behind her were stirring again. Three walked up to the chair and bent down to lift it. Rasmus, Feoras, and Pirro stepped behind the chair and stood back.

"OK, we're about to lift you," Pirro said.

The skeletons lifted the chair and walked over to the door. They weren't tall enough, so more skeletons came and lifted the first group in the air. Danaë stepped off. "Perfect!" she said. "Now the rest of you or something."

The skeletons returned to the other three holding the chair.

Feoras looked at Pirro. "Uhhhh… you first."

"Nay! I couldn't accept so high a privilege above you." replied Pirro, "Besides, Danaë is Rasmus' girlfriend."

He turned to Rasmus with a goonish grin, "C'mon Razzle, dazzle your girl."

Anonymous suddenly stirred and glanced around.

"I think our companions are in great danger," he announced to Erica and Zak. "It is up to us to attempt a rescue! No doubt we will perish in the effort, but we shall at least go valiantly! We will—"

"What makes you think they are in trouble?" Erica interrupted, eager to stop the mage's tirade.

Anonymous shrugged.

"Guesswork?" he answered sound speculative.

"I think they're just fine," Erica assured him, wanting to get back to her crossword.

"I agree," Zak replied nervously. "We should stay here where it's safe. If you're bored, I can practice my first lecture in my new series: Germs! Every little thing in this world is out to kill you!"

"On second thought," Erica said, getting to her feet. "Rescuing the others sounds like a great idea."



Sometime later, Zak, Erica, and Anonymous stood on the outskirts of the city.

"Do you remember what that map looked like?" Erica asked the mage. "If not, we may have some difficulty tracking them."

"I don't think so," Anonymous returned. Bending, he grabbed a small piece of paper off of the ground. It was covered in various colors and flowing calligraphy. It had been carefully placed under a rock. "Rasmus appears to have been dropping copies of his business card. All we have to do is follow the trail."

"But what if someone has deliberately messed with them and rigged up a trail that will lead us right into a dragon's lair?" Zak speculated.

"Then, we shall become the first dragonslayers in Cythera! Or at least we'll become famous for attempting to slay one!" Anonymous responded cheerfully.

With that, the three set out, following the trail of cards...

Somehow or other the party made it to the second level of passages. While the others debated whether they should regroup or not, Pirro tossed a lit bomb back down on the skeletons. *boom*. & started trying to play Canasta Solitaire -with dice.

Meanwhile, Anonymous and the others had reached the entrance to the cave.

"How'd we get here so fast?" Erica asked, sound confused.

"Well, it's quite simple," Anonymous began. "We simply—"

Pausing, he thought for a few minutes and then turned to Zak.

"How did we get here so fast?"

Zak shrugged.

"I don't know. It doesn't make any sense to me."

"Hmm, well, whatever. We must proceed, for I am certain that our companions below are in dire peril!"

"What makes you so certain?" Erica questioned the mage.

"I can hear Rasmus singing," he replied, covering his ears to block out the faint sound.

"Oh," Erica winced, also covering her ears. "I'm certain they'll be fine for another hour or so."

Anonymous shook his head.

"No, it is our duty to try to save them! Certainly, we will perish but we shall at least do noble deeds first! Come!"

So saying, the mage headed down into the tunnel followed by a very reluctant Zak and Erica.

Pirro looked up from his game & looked down when he heard his secretary (Anonymous) trying to solve the mystery of the deadend. He called down, "If you sit on that smouldering spring over there, the skeletons might elevate you to this passage.

"... Or I might have made them mad by blowing them to pieces too often."

Erica stopped for a moment.

"I thought I heard Pirro down there," she said.

"As I said, they are in dire peril!" Anonymous exclaimed, hurrying on down the tunnel. "We must--OW!"

The mage staggered back. He had walked right into the portcullis at the end of the tunnel.

"Well, that's that," Zak stated. "We tried."

"What? Give up? Never!" Anonymous replied, studying the metal grating intensely. "There must be some way to magic our way past this..."

"We could try the lever," Erica suggested.

"Don't be ridiculous. That's clearly a decoy! I'll figure out a way past this obstruction!"

Rolling her eyes, Erica leaned back against the wall, while Anonymous continued to stare at the portcullis.

Suddenly the voice boomed through the remaining un-destroyed speaking tubes, "You lazy adventurers are not proceeding nearly fast enough!!! You should already be well past..." a hole opened in the floor & the party tumbled through to a higher level of the dungeon, "...HERE!"

The party found itself in a large pit, about the size of an olympic swimming pool. A metal portcullis at the far end opened & a pack of wolflizards issued forth.

The voice sounded again. "Sorry, did I say a wolflizard pack? I meant you'll face a shark attack. One doesn't make a pool-sized pit unless one makes a pool of it."

Green lightning bolts shot from the ceiling, striking the wolflizards and turning them into sharks. They began to flop around helplessly on the ground.

"And now for the water…" They waited… waited… "Oh, bother." The voice cut out.


"Alright," Rasmus said. "I guess this is another climbing puzzle. How do we get out of the pool?"

Danaë looked around. "I don't see another comfy chair, and I can't fathom how I'll get out of here without one."

"We don't need one," Erica said. "To the shallow end!"

This post has been edited by Pallas Athene: 05 June 2012 - 12:16 AM

Pirro found the odd creatures fascinating & moved to examine them more closely.

"Hmm, maybe I can set it on fire..." Anonymous said, still staring at the closed portcullis.

Nervously, Zak backed away from the mage. Glancing back along the tunnel, he suddenly realized something.

"Wait. What happened to Erica?" he asked. Turning, Anonymous realized the woman was indeed gone.

"She must have found some secret passage and rushed ahead to rescue the others!" he concluded.

In this case, the mage was almost correct. Actually, a trapdoor had opened under Erica and dumped her into the pit with the rest of the group.

"Maybe, this lever will do something," Anonymous said, pulling the switch. Slowly, the portcullis opened. "Excellent, now, we can get on with our quest! That is, as soon as I can think of a way of making sure this stays open..."

Pirro commenced to heartlessly slaughter the odd creatures for XP

The group passed through the cramped doorway into the next chamber. "Surely this couldn't go on forever?" Rasmus thought, and "Had the miners really built this mine in such an odd fashion?" Odder questions still were yet to come.

As the adventures emerged from the tunnel's darkness the found themselves in a warmly lit cavern or rather a home of sorts, much better furnished than the rest of the mine. In the center of the lavish abode, was a large wooden table garnished with strange and exotic foods, some familiar, and some so unrecognizable Rasmus couldn't even have made them up while pretending to be posh.

"Amazing!" Feoras exclaimed, smiling with delight at such wondrous surroundings. Most of these heroes had never been in a place of luxury such as this.

Danaë sighed, and began to commentate and educate her common companions on the rooms decor, but was cut short by a boisterous laugh shooting from behind a large stone thrown planted at the head of the table.

"SO, you've come at last have you?" The voice announced with a grandiose boom. From the shield of the chair (a cover seemingly too small for his hefty proportions) emerged a very large, and very strange man.

"Who dare interrupts me?!" raged the princess of hard to write names, twisting her brow in quite an unattractive manner.

"I do, woman!" The voice echoed again. "I am Hungercles, a demon, by your tounge!"

Before any of our heroes could inquire further, the demon Hungercles had already begun another rant.

"I'm hungry, so I'll skip the meager chit chat. What you see before you is a most honorable of challenges!" Hungercles waved his thick fingers over the table invitingly, "An eating challenge!"

"The rules are deliciously simple: whoever eats the most, fastest, wins! You're feast of a prize will be passage into the next room, my sweet little prize will.. be you..! HO HO-!" the beast said with drool spilling out his lips.

Not the most heroic of feats ever presented to Rasmus and Co., or the most fair. "That's hardly fair!" See I told you, "Clearly you could eat as much as all of us combined!" Pirro argued, and using what Rasmus would arguably called his brain.

"HO HO HO-! Very well my entrees! Each one of you can attempt to baste-, er, best me! If one of you can, than all may pass. If none cannot, then you'll be passing through me!"

"Ew!" the heroes yelled in harmonic unison.

It was clear that by themselves they wouldn't be able to stomach this challenge, but perhaps together, they could give this glutton his just deserts.

Two Jacks, on 15 June 2012 - 12:30 AM, said:

("just deserts" is the correct spelling, but I've got to ask whether you got it right on purpose or by accident)

This post has been edited by Pallas Athene: 15 June 2012 - 06:19 PM

Meanwhile, Anonymous had finally come up with a solution to his problem: he had left Zak to guard the portcullis and ensure that it remained open. To anyone sane, this would have been a very imperfect solution, but few people had ever accused Anonymous of being sane.

Proceeding down the passage, he came to the room with the red and blue door. Seeing the red door open, the mage decided it was clearly a trap and opened the blue door. Unfortunately, the owner of the mysterious voice had not noticed his entrance, so he had no warning that he had picked the wrong door.

For a moment, he stopped short in surprise: a man in a neat business suit was sitting at a desk at the far end of the room. Before Anonymous could speak, the man said, "Hello, I'm with the IRS--"

Screaming, Anonymous slammed the door shut and collapsed against it for a moment. After recovering somewhat, he got to his feet and glanced nervously at the door. It was a good thing that he had not entered the room.

Looking around the room again, he spotted the service exit. Hurrying, he crossed to it, opened the door, and stepped into the well-lit corridor beyond. Cautiously, the mage continued on his way.

Pirro tried feeding the demon a bomb.

"Lovely!" the demon said, lowering the bomb into his mouth like a cherry. "I love the taste of explosions. Now if you'll kindly eat a bomb as well, then you'll have won the challenge and can go on your way."

The demon stuck out his tongue. On it, the bomb's fuse lay, tied neatly into a knot.

"Only kidding!" The demon boomed, graciously taking once more the sizzling explosive. With a single gulp Hungercles swallowed the bomb as if it was but a single grape.

The group looked on in unnerving anticipation.. tic.. toc.. tic.. No bo?-BOOOM!

A large tremor emanated from the jiggling belly of the large foe across from them, but it seemed his body was still quite intact.

"MY MY!"The demon yelled cheerfully, letting a belch of smoke escape his throat. "I told you I love delicacies of a spicier variety!" Patting himself on the stomach, the demon continued, "Now, here is yours then, something more.. your eating-level." After a brief moment of waving his hands over the table's many plates, the demon reached down and produced a single, rather petite, pepper from the mounds of food, and placed it in the warrior Pirro's hands.

"Come come, eat up then! That was the arrangement after all.. Hohoho..."

This post has been edited by Two Jacks: 18 June 2012 - 09:50 PM

Pirro felt an undefined sense of elation that he had just quaffed a Smith's Friend for fear of demonic shenanigans. He downed the pepper.

And then what happened? TwoJacks thought with the curiosity of a cat.

The heat of the pepper was indescribable, but the potion effectively cut out the damaging effects leaving the underlying flavour of the pepper robust but sweet, with just a hint of melancholy. Pirro gave a satisfied nod, & wondered of the Demon whether the fruit was natural or only available to those with arcane powers?

"Oh, just your average…'garden'-variety pepper," he said with a wink. "But I've got some magic peppers, though. You… you want one of those? I mean, yeah, I could give you one."

Meanwhile, ignorant of the dire predicament which his friends faced, Anonymous cautiously continued making his way through the service hallways. He was brought to an abrupt halt when a loud voice suddenly boomed through the narrow corridor.

"Hey! What are you doing down there?"

Startled, the mage glanced around a moment before finally spotting the bronze tube on the ceiling.

"I am attempting to rescue my noble comrades who are undoubtedly in terrible danger."

"Oh? You're one of those heroes? I thought for a moment that you were one of those ruffians I'd hired to booby-trap the service hallways."

"Booby-trap?" Anonymous asked.

"Yes, now you are doomed! You should have taken one of the other doors! Prepare to be dropped into a pit filled with rabid lawyers!" the speaker trailed off into a fit of maniacal laughter.

After a moment, the mage said, "Nothing seems to be happening."

"What?! Hold on a second..."

For a moment, there was silence. Then, the voice returned, sounding quite annoyed.

"My mistake. It looks like they aren't due to booby-trap the tunnels until next Wednesday."

"Ha!" Anonymous crowed, pleased at his good fortune. "Surrender, evil villain!" (The mage had finally figured out to whom he was speaking.)

"Never! There may not be any traps in those corridors, but you have no chance of ever finding your way through them!"

"Your brochures have a map," the mage pointed out, holding up a copy of the visitor's brochure that he had found next to the service door.

"...you have almost no chance of ever finding your way through them!" the mysterious voice boomed after a minute. "And I'll be ready when you do!"



Even as Pirro considered Hungercles' question, the bronze tube in the room abruptly vibrated, and the agitated voice of their enemy emanated from it.

"Hungercles, could you finish that lot off quickly? I have an insane mage coming after me through the service hallways."

(OoC: Selax, Pelli's sentences need to rhyme! )