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The 12 Part Story yes thats a crappy title

#1 User is offline   Dark Jet 

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Post icon  Posted 16 November 2005 - 07:31 PM

Quick Notes: I can't really think of a title and i have thought about it and oh well. I have a copy of this on my site, and that one may be more current then what gets posted here. K'to claims that this is pretty good, so off we go. I think the kid is somewhat meant to resemble me, now that i think about it.

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Part 1 - The End is only the Beginning

Prologue:

Sirens echoed through out Los Alamos, since they do that at least twice a day, no one paid any heed to them. While a certain kid did, he walked towards the overpass for Los Alamos High School. As he was about half way up, a gun went off just as police cars were pulling over. Before the person who shot the gun could conceal it, the Police arrested him. The kid that was standing on the overpass looked down at the blood in his hands, it hurt a lot and he fell to his knees then hit the metal stairs. He lay there praying to the deity that he believed in. His body shock with a convulsion then shut down.

Everyone was distracted about the person being arrested that no one noticed the kid’s dead body. Some one shouted and pointed then there was a gasp. A teenager went running up the stairs of the metal overpass to help his friend but stopped when he saw the blood pooling. The teenager gently felt for a pulse but felt none. then slowly walked back down with grief. Paramedics picked up the body and put it into a body bag, zipped it up and drove off.

Later when they went to examine the dead body, a note fell down. Some one picked it up and read it aloud, it was the kid’s will that he wrote just incase he died. The results from the examination proved that the cause of death was from the single bullet wound, through the chest. When the police interrogated the killer, they learned that the motive to kill had nothing to do with drugs or money. It was just simple revenge over a stupid little fight.

But for the kid all thought he was dead and this was true but in theory one’s soul goes to live on for the rest of eternity. When the kid died a figure appeared in front of him from mist that had surrounded him in a flat like landscape. He heard some thoughts in his mind, ‘You are dead and are forced to live out eternity like everyone else has to, but to entertain yourself I now give you two gifts; the ability to view alternate realities and the ability to sleep for however long you want to.
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Chapter 1 (still part 1)

Before the kid could thank the figure, it disappeared and he was in total darkness. He imagined a cool looking nebula and the darkness was replaced by that. He considered which gift to try out first, he new he wasn’t tired but his mind was hurting and he was stressed out. Every once in a while his heart hurt as if he was being shot again. He drifted into sleep until he could sort this out. It was the best sleep ever, when he had sorted out the thoughts that were confusing and stressing him, he felt so refreshed. To a mortal living on earth, the time that the kid felt had past had only been about a half of a nanosecond. But to the kid it felt like a century but once you are dead, time is something that is in a different perspective.

The kid imagined a few seconds before his death and his surroundings change to the memory. Time was still for him at this point, but he turned around and easily spotted his killer. His mind drifted off for a moment and the event happened again in the same way. The kid knew he was dead but pain wracked his body like it had. He rewound time to were he was before when he could change were he would walk. He did so and then actually walked toward a group of friends near the killer. As he pulled out the gun, the kid rolled into the killer’s knees. The killer was in process of pulling the trigger when he fell forward. Before the bullet went off the muzzle was pointed at the kid, and hit him in the side of the ribs, still ripping into his heart. He rewound time before he felt pain.

He tried 5 more attempts before he stopped. The kid stood there thinking of what he could do, “Okay I know that he wants to kill me. I know that if I walk behind the school and towards ROTC I will be safe because he can’t find me. But that raises the question of who this person is. And would he have more than one person?” He stopped for a moment and thought. He separated him self from the kid that was to die that day and looked at him self for a moment. He was like an Ancient from Stargate SG-1. He then floated up to the top of the auditorium, which is about four stories high. He let time resume and he watched himself walk home. The gunshot rang off and people stopped and the cops came. Events proceeded as how they did. But he followed the cop car and to the interrogation so he could get a name. He heard the name and was puzzled. For that name and that person should not exist. Talek was a name he made and used online, apparently who ever hired him thought it would be ironic. The kid didn’t care that he was dead, in this eternal “game” he would kill who ever was responsible. He used his other gift of sleep and drifted off thinking of how someone could learn who Talek is and who hated him.
By the time he awoke he had two lists, and set out to search, but first he stopped by LAHS. He had time being played out during his sleep, he looked around for it was 8 am, and most of the students were here. He looked to see who actually cared.

He then continues on his search. He thought for a moment that since this was so he could entertain himself, he reasoned that he should be able to “summon” what he wanted. He thought of a iMac hooked up to a super computer, and well, it was just there. He does some searching then stops realizing that this will be a waste of "time" and then proceeds to see how his life would've been if he were the "Perfect Kid".

[Note:] Which leads to part 2 that isnt started yet, but i will do. [/Note]

-Dark Jet
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iKaterei said:

i wish i could put ... in all caps

#2 User is offline   Selax 

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Posted 17 November 2005 - 10:37 PM

Interesting, I wonder where this will lead...
Long Live Cythera! Long Live the Cythera Web Board!

I now run a TS Character Killing Service.

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#3 User is offline   Dark Jet 

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Posted 19 November 2005 - 03:22 PM

Actually this might be a 11 part story as i have cut "Part 2: the Perfect Kid" but i have what was part 3 about 25% done

Oh and if anyone has any questions, ask and ill be happy to answer (about the story), because now that i look at it, it is somewhat vague on certain details.

-Dark Jet

This post has been edited by Dark Jet: 19 November 2005 - 03:25 PM

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iKaterei said:

i wish i could put ... in all caps

#4 User is offline   cache22 

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Posted 29 November 2005 - 03:01 PM

So when do we see it?
"The e-mail of the specious is deadlier than their mail" - Tom Holt, 'Snow White and the Seven Samurai'

#5 User is offline   Dark Jet 

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 01:17 AM

well i've abandoned this as it failed horribly.. if it is possible, can someone delete the entire chron?
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iKaterei said:

i wish i could put ... in all caps

#6 User is offline   CrazyChick 

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 04:10 AM

Aw, c'mon, it was just getting good!
And the winner of the text only entry goes to CrazyChick for "Watch for B&B on bridge." Encountering the B&B anywhere is dangerous enough. Throwing a bridge into the recipe is an equation for disaster. - Ragashingo

#7 User is offline   Dark Jet 

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 06:40 PM

no it was just starting to fail. Besides it had no relation to Cythera
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iKaterei said:

i wish i could put ... in all caps

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