Help
Moonshadow's galctic cruiser, S.S. Elfwood, is attacked by the big evil starship under
the direct command of Slayer's henchman, Lady Katerei. Moonshadow and her rebel cohorts are
captured, but not before she can put the information about the existance of The Ultimate
chron - secret weapon of the evil Chronicle Dominion, led by the Dark Emporer Slayer, into
the brain of SuperNova. He gets cuaght on the way to the escape pod, but the Dominion foces
let him go becuase they think 'It's just a n00b'.
He meets up with Ody/3PO and they escape to The Nova Planet (To the tune of The EV:Nova Web Board)
They are captured by forum trolls and are sold as slaves to Mr. Somebody, a young man disenchanted
with the lack of attention paid to the planet by the aloof Hutt rulers, who are in cahoots with
the Dominion. Mr. Sombody obeys the request of SuperNova and takes him and a unhappy Ody
to see an old hermit in the dessert, Obi-CacheWan, who is susposedly a Chron Writer.
There, Supernova spills his guts to Obi-Cache concerning the Ultimate Chron being written by
the Chronicle Dominion, and about Katerei being turned to the Dark Side.
Obi-Cache decides he must go to The Cythera Planet, to deliver the information to rebel
leaders. They find Bryce and Ferazel in the tavern and hire them to fly them to Cythera.
Obi-Cache teaches the basics of writing to Mr. Somebody on the way.
Meanwhile while orbiting Cythera, (Moonshadow's homeworld) Katerei and Rogan try to convince
Moonshadow to betray the location of the rebels. She gives them bogus information, at which they
unleash the power of the recently completed Ultimate Chron and use it's awesome power to turn the
entire population of the planet into mindless, parasitic non-commenting chron readers. All
the planet's creativity is annihalated!
When the good guys reach Cythera, they find that the population have all been turned into retarded
abominations. (Which Obi-cache sensed on the way. "I feel as if much creativity was suddenly
obliterated!")
Before they can escape the planet, now under Dominion domination, They are discovered by Lady
Katerei and trapped. Obi-Cache fights Katerei and the others escape while Kat's henchmen are
stupidly standing around watching the fight, instead of helping Kat by shooting at Cache.
Thankfully, Katerei is low on henchmen (Budget cuts and all) and when word gets around
that there is a big duel between chron writers (Ledgendary figures that they are) all the
goons go to watch the battle. (They aren't the most compitent or dedicated thugs either.)
With no guards, Moonshadow hotwires her cell door and escapes to Bryce and Ferazel's ship.
Just as the protagonists get in their ship, (Joined by Moonshadow) they see Lady Katerei
finish off Obi-cache.
They escape the defeated planet while the henchmen are talking with their master about what
a cool fight it was.
Soon, though, the Dominion forces come to their senses and Rogan sends fighters to attack the
good guys. Overpowered, the good guys land on the swampy and almost uninhabited planet 'Avara' to
hide. There, they meet Chron Master Heidel, most awesomly powerful of all chron writers.
He trains Mr. Sombody in the ways of the Chron Writer in about half an hour, while the
Dominion Fighters give up on finding them. Soon afterward, Heidel is eaten by a giant
swamp creature, Taz!. Mr. Sombody is now the last of the good chron writers.
They leave the planet and head for Coldstone, a mostly peaceful planet that houses the rebel
headquarters. The Dominion forces bring their untimate chron, but before they can broadcast
it to the people of Coldstone and turn them into non-commenting readers, Rogan, Lady Katerei
and the Evil Emperor himself, Lord Slayer, are confronted by Mr. Seombody in their throne
room. While the main villians are preoccupied with trying to turn Mr. Somebody to the dark side,
Bryce, Ferazel and Moonshadow sneak around the Dominion spaceship and try to delete the
ultimate chron!
Unfortunatly, this gets the attention of The bad guy trio, who take Mr. Somebody, now their
captive, to go kill the other good guys.
"Strike me down and save your freinds! Use your anger!" Says Slayer to Somebody
as he warms up his force lightning and starts trying to kill the heros. Mr. Somebody
is torn between his resolve to stay on the light side and his desire to save his freinds.
Suddenly, Lady Katerei defects to the Light Side and uses her password to delete the
ultimate chron.
Slayer's power evaporates and he disappears in a puff of maleveonent energy.
Katerei and Mr. Sombody then fight Rogan (With his two-bladed lightsaber thing) together,
while Bryce, Ferazel and Moonshadow watch and eat popcorn.
Rogan impales Kat with his lightsaber while she is distracted by Ferazel/Chewie, who
picks a very poor time to confess his undying true love for her.
However, Rogan was suffecently weakened by the fight that Mr. Somebody can
finish him off and dispatch him for good. He rushes to the dying Katerei, who revils that
she is his mother, and warns him not to get involved with Moonshadow becuase she is his
sister. Bummer.
The king of Coldstone, Celchu, gives all the heros an earldom and tons of serfs to farm it,
and the rightful, non-evil king of the galaxy, Glenn Andreas, is restored to power.
He declares it 'Galactic Blob day' for unknon reasons and makes everyone buy yellow,
geletinious hats, but is otherwise an exelent leader. This may have been cuased by his years
spent in hiding on the secluded planet Blobbo 9 while Emperor Slayer was in power.
The inhabitants of Coldstone throw a big party for the heros, at which Yomcat/jarjar is given
the death penalty with a dull salad fork for the crime of public nudity. The End.
Please do not be offended if your character is a Evil Emperor, Walking Carpet, Robot, Gungan nudist,
or other such creature. No comparison to your actualy self is intended. Your Chron-Wars
character is fully independent of your real persona. (Except perhaps for Yomcat, who we all
know really is a Gungan who broke lose from a goverment lab in Austraila and moved to New Zealand,
where he glued dryer lint to his body and made a meager living pretending to be the world's ugliest
sheep at fairs and carnivals. Things may be looking up for him, as he has recently been contacted
by the Maytag clothes dryer company, who have offered him a job as a mascot. But that's another
story...
)[This message has been edited by Bryce (edited 02-19-2003).]
MultiQuote
Posted 25 January 2005 - 12:56 PM
