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Here is a little story about a battle I came up with.
You are standing on the bridge of a new human gunship, comissioned only two weeks ago. You have almost forgotten the pride you felt when you were promoted to captain and given control of the gunship "The Graceful Ornithorhynchus Anatinus."
You think to yourself Fools, all of them. I have the most incompetent crew in this quadrent! They don't even know that Ornithorhynchus Anatinus means platypus!
You are very annoied at your crew because only one hour ago, a gaitori fighter accellerated right up to your ship, filling the entire view screen on the bridge, and blasted away about half your shields while you were on a lunch break. Your crew had no idea what to do, so they rammed the fighter with the ship until it went away. Your crew got scared of what might happen next, so they piloted your ship into an asteriod field to hide... after disabling one of the engines by hitting a green asteriod. You got to the bridge as quickly as possible, only to find your crew singing: "... nine-hundred bottles of Gungan beer on the wall, nine-hundred bottles of beer! You..." It took them a few minutes to realize that the anti-matter gun (actually a prop from The Rocky Horror Picture Show movie that you bought on e-bay, but your crew couldn't tell the difference) in your hand was pointed at them. It didn't take too much longer for them to realize that they should shut up.
"Captain!"
It was the voice of the most annoying ensign in the entire galaxy. Maybe they are the way they are because of the name their parents gave them. Their personality definately fits his name.
With a sigh you ask "What is it Ensign Smakmi?"
"Well, since you're the captain, I guess I have to do what you say, but I though the Galactic Command Manifesto states that no two or more members of the Human/Ishiman Co-operative are allowed to have sexual relations of any kind during work hours. Oh well."
With a loud SMACK!, Ensign Smakmi hits your butt hard. This happens every day, but the more it happens, the more you like it. (Note to readers: I don't specify the sex of Ensign Smakmi because I know many of the people in the Ares community have wildly varying prefrences. I also didn't specify if Ensign Smakmi is even human, since I know there must be some people reading this that are like that.)
"I wasn't asking you to... never mind. Just tell me what the problem is."
"Well, just look at the view screen."
You look at the viewscreen and don't notice anything unusual (aside from your crew). You're about to say that you don't see anything when a tiny moving light is spotted off in the distance. Then another appears, then another, then another... soon your viewscreen is filled with thousands of tiny moving lights.
"Ensign Smakmi! What the hell are those!?!"
"Captain, you aren't going to like this!"
TO BE CONTINUED
So what did you think of the story? If you like it, I'll write some more stories after I finish the second half of this story.
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"Well try to kill them with a fork-lift!"
The Notorious Bounty
Hunter,
Boba Fett
judygeof@ix.netcom.com
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