Ambrosia Software Web Board: Anyone Know any Jokes? - Ambrosia Software Web Board

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Anyone Know any Jokes?

#1 Guest_Xyrus_*

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Posted 26 January 2000 - 06:38 PM

Hi, I'm the real unpopular Xyrus, who started the Ares Sucks Campaign(Its offical title). I hate Ares, but if anyone knows any jokes, i would like to hear them for a laugh Posted Image

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Alas, none of you have seen the Homeworld Light. Down with Ares!!!!!!!:P

#2 User is offline   Newt 

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Posted 26 January 2000 - 09:31 PM

If you ask me, your presence on this forum is a joke.

BTW, I've played homeworld. Yeah, it's pretty damn cool, but Ares has an editor coming out, so I'll be able to make a campaign for it.

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In the next world war,
In a jack-knifed Juggernaut,
I am born again.
So I don't feel alone, or the weight of the stone,
Now that I've found somewhere safe To bury my bones.
And any fool knows a dog needs a home,
A shelter from pigs on the wing.
-Pink Floyd, Pigs on the Wing (pt. 2)

#3 Guest_Boba Fett_*

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Posted 27 January 2000 - 12:42 AM

This reminds me of a similar post on the old web board... feel free to re-post it if you want to look through the archives...
Here's a few, Xyrus, The Dark Lord (how dare you use that name!?!? I'm a lot more evil than you... I'm just a lot more polite and intelligent):
Xyrus(he he)
Xyrus can fully support his arguments(hehehe!)
Xyrus has a life(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
And now, here is some truthful information you might find funny:
Xyrus defends PCs, says linux rules all... even thgouth he doesn't use it (not that I'm dissing it), he admits windows sucks, he claims DOS is the best operating ever (remember that he says linux rules all), and can't find any arguements why Mac OS X sucks and admits that Mac OS X IS the seXy operating system Posted Image .

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"Well try to kill them with a fork-lift!"
The Notorious Bounty
Hunter,
Boba Fett
judygeof@ix.netcom.com

#4 Guest_Xyrus_*

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Posted 27 January 2000 - 06:03 PM

I did not call it the seXy operating system, i called it MacOSeX:P.

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Alas, none of you have seen the Homeworld Light. Down with Ares!!!!!!!:P

#5 User is offline   Admiral Dennis 

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Posted 27 January 2000 - 07:08 PM

Oh, go boot yourself! Posted Image

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I come, I go; You'll never know...

-Admiral Dennis
[url="http://"mailto:admiraldennis@mac.com"]mailto:admiraldennis@mac.com[/url]admiraldennis@mac.com

[This message has been edited by Admiral Dennis (edited 01-27-2000).]

#6 User is offline   El Spamo 

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Posted 27 January 2000 - 11:58 PM

Xyrus, go f*** yourself alright?
That is of course, if you are physically capable of doing such. Such pricks like you often lack such facilities.

#7 User is offline   Fleet Admiral Darkk 

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Posted 28 January 2000 - 01:25 PM

Homeworld is a joke. I went to the web board and saw a guy get flamed to death for asking about the Mac version.
I would love to wake up and hear "Every employee of Microsoft was abducted by weird human-like aliens yesterday." Maybe also all the people on the Homeworld web board.

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Commander-in-Chief of the Nijayias Interstellar Navy.
"In literature as in love we are astounded by what is chosen by others." Andre Maurois

Onii7/Frinkruds and his funky forums
macgamer.net

#8 Guest_Boba Fett_*

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Posted 28 January 2000 - 03:40 PM

I have to say, Homeworld does sound interesting (I've only heard Xyrus' opion), so is it coming to the mac? (I wanna play it myself so I can laugh at it.)

------------------
"Well try to kill them with a fork-lift!"
The Notorious Bounty
Hunter,
Boba Fett
judygeof@ix.netcom.com

#9 Guest_Boba Fett_*

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Posted 28 January 2000 - 06:46 PM

Here's something true, but it is still funny. Xyrus wont stop bragging that he has had the most popular post the last week (Down With Ares). He will pay though... oh, yes... he will pay.

------------------
"Well try to kill them with a fork-lift!"
The Notorious Bounty
Hunter,
Boba Fett
judygeof@ix.netcom.com

#10 User is offline   Newt 

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Posted 28 January 2000 - 08:31 PM

Darkk, your constant homeworld bashing ticks me off. It's actually a really good game. Just because it's 3d doesn't make it bad people. Geez. Homeworld has a damn good story, and it's got a really intuitive interface. Unfortunately, it seems a LOT like an ares clone. I like it. It's fun. But it's easy and has little room for expansion.

Anyhoo, I like homeworld, but I like ares more.

------------------
In the next world war,
In a jack-knifed Juggernaut,
I am born again.
So I don't feel alone, or the weight of the stone,
Now that I've found somewhere safe To bury my bones.
And any fool knows a dog needs a home,
A shelter from pigs on the wing.
-Pink Floyd, Pigs on the Wing (pt. 2)

#11 User is offline   Fleet Admiral Darkk 

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Posted 29 January 2000 - 09:01 PM

How are you playing Homeworld?
On it's web board, they said no Mac version ever and flamed a guy to death for asking for one. That is why I hate Homeworld.
Evil user community.

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Commander-in-Chief of the Nijayias Interstellar Navy.
"In literature as in love we are astounded by what is chosen by others." Andre Maurois

Onii7/Frinkruds and his funky forums
macgamer.net

#12 Guest_Soldier of Binki_*

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Posted 30 January 2000 - 03:45 AM

Fleet Admiral Darkk wrote:
How are you playing Homeworld?
On it's web board, they said no Mac version ever and flamed a guy to death for asking for one. That is why I hate Homeworld.
Evil user community.


If they made a Linux version of Homeworld, it is runnable on Mac. MacOS isn't the ONLY operating system that Apple machines can run... Ah, LinuxPPC... I'd predict that one day it'll turn the entire platform war into a straight-up processor fight that the PC side could not possibly win, but then I'd jinx it. So I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut.

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Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for the Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the shadows lie.


-The Lord of the Rings

#13 Guest_Xyrus_*

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Posted 30 January 2000 - 10:27 AM

Acck! People are bashing Homeworld on the Jokes fourm! This stuff should go to Down with Ares! I agree with Newt that Homeworld is easy, but you should try net play! All non-joke comments should go to Down with Ares.

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Alas, none of you have seen the Homeworld Light. Down with Ares!!!!!!!:P

#14 User is offline   Admiral Dennis 

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Posted 30 January 2000 - 02:34 PM

I wish I could delete this topic!

------------------
I come, I go; You'll never know...

-Admiral Dennis
[url="http://"mailto:admiraldennis@mac.com"]mailto:admiraldennis@mac.com[/url]admiraldennis@mac.com

#15 User is offline   Newt 

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Posted 30 January 2000 - 08:26 PM

I've played homeworld at a friend's house, the guy has a PC. Yes, I am friends with PC users.

Dennis, I for one am glad that you aren't a moderator.

------------------
In the next world war,
In a jack-knifed Juggernaut,
I am born again.
So I don't feel alone, or the weight of the stone,
Now that I've found somewhere safe To bury my bones.
And any fool knows a dog needs a home,
A shelter from pigs on the wing.
-Pink Floyd, Pigs on the Wing (pt. 2)

#16 User is offline   caalaklael 

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Posted 30 January 2000 - 08:39 PM

I actually have a PC. But not on purpose. My dad got Virtual PC, I got a couple of PC Games, but they were EXTREMELY slow. I got my dad to get the PC so I could play the games, but I don't use it all that often. The one exception was when Descent 3 came out originally, but it's for mac now so I can avoid the evil influence. Also, I have two friends who are PC users. But at least one of them absolutely loves ares, so that almost makes up for it, right?

------------------
No, I'm not that cruel. I don't use the flamethrower on my
enemies. I save that for my
allies.
-caalaklael, the trigger
happy obiard
No, I'm not that cruel. I don't use the flamethrower on my enemies. I save that for my allies.
-caalaklael, the trigger happy obiard

#17 User is offline   Fleet Admiral Darkk 

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Posted 30 January 2000 - 09:25 PM

Here's an Ares joke.
What's the difference between a sal gateship and a gatori fighter?
15 Nijayias gateship shots.


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Commander-in-Chief of the Nijayias Interstellar Navy.


[This message has been edited by Fleet Admiral Darkk (edited 01-31-2000).]
"In literature as in love we are astounded by what is chosen by others." Andre Maurois

Onii7/Frinkruds and his funky forums
macgamer.net

#18 Guest_Admiral Sargatanus_*

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Posted 31 January 2000 - 10:13 AM

Xyrus wrote:
Acck! People are bashing Homeworld on the Jokes fourm! This stuff should go to Down with Ares! I agree with Newt that Homeworld is easy, but you should try net play! All non-joke comments should go to Down with Ares.


All Ares bashing should go down on me! Posted Image

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"They're everywhere!"- hapless victim #203948

#19 Guest_xyrubs is rather rude_*

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Posted 31 January 2000 - 02:29 PM

XYRUBS, ARE YOU TRYING TO START A FLAME WAR OR SOMETHING? WHEN I ASKED A PSYCOLOGIST ABOUT YOUR POSTS, HE SAID IT MENT THAT, ACCORDING TO THE JUNGIAN INTERPRETATION, YOU WANT TO **** YOUR MOM!

#20 Guest_xyrubs is rather rude_*

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Posted 31 January 2000 - 02:30 PM

p.s. THE STARS IN THE LAST POST WERE ADDED BY THE BORD. THEY WERE MENT TO BE AN F, a U, a C, and a K

#21 User is offline   Fleet Admiral Darkk 

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Posted 31 January 2000 - 06:21 PM

You mean the Freudian interpretation. Jung was mainly concerned with archetypes. But they probably are right. Xyrus probably does have an Oedipus complex. So do certain membors o the Homeworld web board...

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Commander-in-Chief of the Nijayias Interstellar Navy.
"In literature as in love we are astounded by what is chosen by others." Andre Maurois

Onii7/Frinkruds and his funky forums
macgamer.net

#22 Guest_Xyrus_*

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Posted 31 January 2000 - 06:39 PM

Okay, stop it. NO SWEARING OR I'LL CLOSE THE BOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Plz, this is supposed to be a friendly board.

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Alas, none of you have seen the Homeworld Light. Down with Ares!!!!!!!:P

#23 Guest_Boba Fett_*

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Posted 31 January 2000 - 06:45 PM

Xyrus, I have to ask... WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU SMOKING!?!?!?!?!? You can't "close the board" and since when did you care about this being a friendly board. hypocrit.

------------------
"Well try to kill them with a fork-lift!"
The Notorious Bounty
Hunter,
Boba Fett
judygeof@ix.netcom.com

#24 User is offline   Fleet Admiral Darkk 

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Posted 31 January 2000 - 07:18 PM

Probably Salrilian halucenogens. They developed some that make LSD look as harmless and innefective as water. And I bet he is a Sal too.

------------------
Commander-in-Chief of the Nijayias Interstellar Navy.
"In literature as in love we are astounded by what is chosen by others." Andre Maurois

Onii7/Frinkruds and his funky forums
macgamer.net

#25 User is offline   Aithon 

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Posted 02 February 2000 - 12:44 PM

I have only two points to make, and I'll make them brief:

Point 1. Xyrus...
...**** YOU.

Point 2. The following joke is an adaptation of a joke I've already heard into Ares language:

There once was a human named Admiral Cicion (a member of this web board). He was sitting at the bar in the officer's club, and he was a little bit intoxicated. In a little bit of a stupor, he said, "Ya see this deck? I built and planned this deck with me own two hands, but do they call me Cicion the deck builder? NO!

"Ya see this ship? I command this ship with me own two hands, but do they call me Cicion the ship commander? NO!

"Ya see this fleet? I assembled this fleet with me own two hands, but do they call me Cicion the fleet assembler? NO!

"Ya **** ONNNNNEE Elejeetian..."

This post has been edited by Aithon: 04 January 2007 - 06:12 PM


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