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Cythera Chronicles: The Adventure

#1 User is offline   Cooldude 

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Posted 16 February 2003 - 03:15 AM

Introduction:
Dwisps are the inhabitants of the beautiful lands of Orlis. These creatures battled humans hundreds of years along with fellow creatures a long time ago to conquer more of the little land that was left for them by the humans. The humans outnumbered the Dwisps and they were finally beaten. Since then, the Dwisps were soon forgotten and they traveled back to their tiny territory, slowly regaining their lost men and preparing for their revenge

Chapter I
The Journey


The commander quickly ordered his men to get their beasts and weapons. His soldiers immediately reacted to his orders and grabbed their spears, bows, and axes. Beasts grunted in frustration in the streets of Candle-Flame Castle. The dwispian troops had planned to travel from their domain to the Crystal-Gaze Fortress for their second assault on the humans.
The soldiers slowly noticed the fabulous places around them as they walked: a landscape beautifully shaped based on high mountains and cliffs, entirely overgrown by knobbly trees and bushes lit by the sun's dim morning light.
A shadow briefly sped past the troops and hid behind a leafy bush.
The soldiers started to chatter endlessly, wearing worried faces but the chief interrupted them:
"This proves that we are close to the Kingdom of Tresta, known for its great number of Tresta Rogues," he said without worry. "They can be dangerous but most of them are harmless."
These troops were here for the total destruction of the human race. Every single Dwisp was perfectly selected for battle, including a captain and healer-mages.
"Halt!" the chief ordered. He opened his bag and flattened an old, rotting map on a nearby tree.
"We have already ventured into the Plains Of Destiny. Now we walk to our training camp. Our present destination is The Desert Lands!"
Finally he mounted his Grunt. "Onwards!" and he started galloping away.


Chapter II
A Dead End


Weeks later, they were ready to train. Drekkis silently opened his tent. Drekkis was very motivated by the arts of war but preferred long distance weapons like bows, spears, or javelins. He had always admired the Tresta Rogues for their extreme swiftness, speed, sly minds and muscular bodies.

As Drekkis unloaded his trunk in his tent, he grabbed his bow and arrow and set off to archery training. Once in archery room number thirteen, he settled himself quite far from an archery target.

"Load! Aim! Fire!" The archery master roared as dozens of arrows thudded on their targets, some of the misaimed ones clattering against the hard wood floor. "Right on target!" Drekkis declared triumphantly. The Master congratulated him warmly and sped off: he planned on taking notes on the progression of the soldiers. They trained in archery until sunset, and at the end of the day a few of the finest archers were chosen.

The next day the army of Dwisps set off again for their perilous quest. All soldiers were hurriedly packing their belongings, running here and there. When all was done, they slowly trekked through the vast wilderness of their world, Orlis. The arid paths of the Desert Lands turned into rocky mountain tracks, which seemed to be part of the endless Wall Mountains, separating the Dwisps from the Humans.

"I have heard there are fairly smaller mountains of The Wall Mountains someplace north," the chief, Dangler, remarked. Some soldiers nodded their wrinkled greenish heads in agreement and soon all were heading north. Suddenly a jet of arrows shot through the air, narrowly missing a soldier, and finally lodged itself into the bark of a nearby tree. Archers shot. Swordsmen slashed. Axe men charged and spearmen threw. Battle!

Chapter III
The Battle


Dozens of creatures stood before the Dwisps' blazing eyes. Drekkis quickly took his bow out. He thought for a moment, and slid a thin rope through a ring on an adapted arrow.

It zoomed away, piercing a leather jacket and bringing the creature wearing it down. He ended up in a small pond. Next thing, Drekkis hauled his two-handed sword. He smartly struck an enemy's bow and it broke in his hands. He slashed wildly an approaching human (apparently there were some humans in this battle). He banged against the human's blade, flung his saber through in the air, and then bashed his shield against the human's face, knocking him unconscious.

Drekkis then received a clobber on his waist. He fell to the ground as pain spread through his whole body and he grabbed his axe before standing up. He hacked at a tree with his battleaxe and watched it fall. A wizard saw the colliding tree and cast a spell to stop it. Drekkis stared in amazement and pinched himself to make sure he was not dreaming. He returned to battle, still watchfully glimpsing for any movement of the tree in any case the spell was only momentary.

He then snatched his small throwing-knife and flung it in a humans' leg. A roaring voice filled the air:
"Hahaha! Lower your weapons!" the chief laughed as he spoke. The drenched creature Drekkis shot his arrow through stood up then shook his head roughly to throw the water in his soaking hair away.

"You have well harmed my men, but they shall recover quickly. I have also captured some unlucky humans but we will heal them too: they could serve us well. May I present myself: Gangra Slipt and this is my old friend, your chief, Dangler Vlith!" The drenched man pleasantly and comically spoke. Drekkis suddenly realized that this creature was a Tresta rogue and cheered up a little.
"This surprise fake attack was part of your training! Everyone blushed.
"I will now continue the selection of ranks!" he said, getting serious.
"Klind Riss! Spearman!"
"Meroz Freemble! Thief!"
And he continued until all knew their place. Drekkis was a multiple skilled combatant. He was notified that he was archer, axe-man, swordsman, and thief!

Chapter IV
The Dragon


Drekkis leaped up in joy when he remarked the chief he had flipped in the pond was a thin Tresta Rogue. Glambs, Filrits, and other amazing creatures stood between the aligned soldiers.

Soon after the unexpected army's greeting, they continued walking the rocky paths. Rocks crunched under peoples' feet and brambles crackled. A figure approached Drekkis and spoke calmly and welcomingly.
"I heard you're a terrific battler!" He declared. "My name is Sly from Tresta. I've come for revenge on the humans because of the death of my grandfather: he was a famous Glissim gold miner and he used to wear an amazing ruby on a necklace called The Fire Jewel! Glissims aren't that well known but they have excellent taste of adventure! They also love art, mosaics, paintings, sculpting and so forth. I'm also a Glissim..." He then started feeling uncomfortable and changed the subject. "What are you? You seem to be a Dwisp. I recognized you because all Dwisps have a horn on each shoulder."

They walked on and on, occasionally stopping for rest and food and finally made it to the small mountains. After an argument of the easiest way of going to the other side of the mountains everyone chose rock climbing. Sly and Drekkis climbed side by side.

They kept on climbing until they got to the top, then started back down the other side. A low rumbling disturbed the chief and he decided to get back down most quickly possible before getting into danger. But it was too late. An enormous boulder separated itself from the mountain and came crashing down the cliff. The gigantic object destroyed and shattered everything in its' way and finally splashed into a lake.
Fortunately, no one was harmed and the big rock sunk deep in the Lake of Misfortune.

After they had come down, the soldiers realized that the rock had made a bridge for them to cross the river. Dangler hardly set his foot on the rock when bubbles came from the bottom of the lake and a red-scaled dragon rose. It roared and grunted at the travelers. The monster plunged deep into the water and removed the rock to break the bridge. As it sprang back up it instantly slashed great claws at Drekkis. He crashed into a tree. Blood was spurting all over his wounded shoulder, and a cleric ran up to him to heal him. A burst of flames erupted from the dragon's mouth and the clerics' clothes burst into fire. More healers rushed up to aid and a pale-faced one cast a pain-killing spell on Drekkis. Unfortunately, healing spells can only be cast in the night or sunset. Drekkis watched the half-burnt cleric recuperate and regain his senses. He was a Quind. They are wise beings that scattered in the wilderness during the Great War. Some Quinds had all the magic drained out of their blood by the humans in slavery, but in general, they have excellent magic capacities of all kinds. Just then, a tall Quind marched up and cast a momentary mind-controlling spell on the dragon. The Quind instantly ordered the dragon to fly far away, in fear that the spell would end.

Chapter V
The war


The troops traveled days and days, approaching the humans every minute. One day Sly, Drekkis and the others spotted the enormous human stronghold towering beyond the clouds in the night sky. The chief planned a camping before the war for rest and feeding. Drekkis, as well as Sly prepared their tents, and the tall Quind approached the two soldiers and cast a spell. Both of the friends' tents magically zoomed into place.
"Thanks!" They both said at the same time. "Gosh, you sure are good! What other kind of magic will you be doing during the war?" Drekkis questioned.
"All kinds! Anything you can think of!" The Quind, Tierra answered proudly.
Dangler and Gangra (The chiefs) both divided all the soldiers in three groups. Drekkis, Sly and Tierra were part of the team for the back attack. The other had to break the gates and the last had to climb the walls. The three friends lead and silently crept behind the castle. Then Tierra blast the door open. Guards started attacking as soon as they heard the door. Sly jumped high in the air (he was a thief) and jumped on a guard. The guard tumbled to the ground as Sly tripped him and tied him. Tierra was busy blasting guards away and blasted the tied guard on the wall. The party progressed into the castle and many of their men where killed. Drekkis threw his throwing knife on the lamp. It shattered and the whole room rained silvery glass splinters. Drekkis and their team were warned and he hid behind a table. Still, small pieces cut through his skin and stung horribly. Tierra removed the splinters and healed him because day had passed. Drekkis roared:
"For the fallen!" and he charged madly at the confused humans. Drekkis smacked and whacked endlessly. Tierra then called out: "Come on! Next room!"

The room was utterly deserted. Tierra ordered all the wounded next to him and soon every single soldier was back on foot (except the already lost ones). Only just had they entered the next room the wild growls were released. Their fanged mouths gnashing their teeth and clawed paws waving angrily. Tierra tried to cast a shield but a Growl broke his wand to two pieces with its' powerful jaws. Tierra was livid and panicked. After a lot of thinking under Drekkis's protection he had an idea. He had heard that someplace in this castle their was a secret room where stands the orb of infinite power. Humans were unaware of the meaning of this and ignored it for centuries though they still tightly guarded it.
The trap door! He scarcely saw a trapdoor under the wild growls dead bodies. No one could see it but Tierra had worked on illusions for years. They started climbing down the ladder and recognized the cellar: barrels were carelessly rolled against the wall and a countless number of wine and beer bottles were put down on the floor. The group of three had lost the rest of their team and explored the cellar further in the stinky cloud of dust. In the next rooms an unbreakable door kept what must be the orb.
Then some writing appeared on the door:

Some may fear it and were-wolves loathe it
Your passage may lighten up a bit
No one knows this devil's great powers
He hides cunningly in great black towers

Drekkis thought and thought. Then he had the answer. But just before he could say death Sly tried:
"Night! Night! Night! When were-wolves turn into wolves and small children are afraid of the dark! Vampires are free to feast and bats sail off in the sky! Ghosts are white as sheets of snow and the dead rise again! Night! Night! Night!"

The huge door creaked open and in front of them the magical orb glowed in front of their greedy eyes. The globe was surrounded by some of the rarest scrolls of magic in Orlis. Tierra was already making space in his bag for the orb and shuffling the parchments in his pockets. They were walking out when the door rumbled back and locked them in the room. Slithering snakes crawled from tiny holes and invaded the room floor. Tierra was reading the scrolls.

"Mastorious-stona-createt!" and a stone monster formed under Tierra's hand and started crushing the snakes. Tierra was now a master of a stone monster and the scroll dissolved in his hands. After all the snakes were killed the group of three, or four thought of a way to escape. Tierra hardly said,
"How can we escape?" when the stone-man crushed the door open and stretched his fingers, then yawned.
They came out the trapdoor and met the rest of the soldiers waiting for them, all chained up and followed by the guards and the human king himself.

"Seize them!" the king cried. Drekkis, Sly, and Tierra were attached with the others and miserably followed the guards along the gloomy torch-lit castle, to the dungeons. The other groups and the chiefs joined to the humans' captives and were also brought to the dungeon. Drekkis and his friends huddled in a corner and tried to sleep in spite of the rhythmic drip of droplets of water splash on the wet floor. Just then, an incredible bash echoed through the dungeon and, barely visible through the thick dust was the stone-man. He was too slow and was not caught by the humans. Satisfaction flowed in his entire body and he stood up, a new hope given to him. The stone man (Tierra called him Stony) also stole back the weapons scrolls and orb that were confiscated from the army.

They all hurried up to the king's throne. Royal blue ribbons hung over deep red walls and gold designs framed the walls. In the center of the room, the king's throne, with violet cushions and gold glinting in the moonlight, was unoccupied. Every soldier sighed and they went off to search for the king. The search went on all night and every Dwisp was almost certain the king fled because they knew they would end up badly if they hadn't. The Dwisps cheerfully marched back to Candle-Flame Castle and Stony followed them till cracks formed on his body and little by little, pebbles fell off and soon he was nothing.

[This message has been edited by moderator (edited 02-18-2003).]

[This message has been edited by Cooldude (edited 02-20-2003).]

#2 User is offline   Slayer 

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Posted 18 February 2003 - 01:30 AM

You are aware that this is the Cythera chroncicles page, right? Posted Image I enjoyed this story. It seemed to pack an unusually large amount into a small space, though.

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Slayer's guide to Cythera:
[url="http://"http://www.macclassics.com/cythera/cythera.htm"]http://www.macclassi...era/cythera.htm[/url]
Slayer's guide to Cythera:
http://russell.stanb...ide/cythera.htm

#3 User is offline   Cooldude 

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Posted 18 February 2003 - 01:55 AM

I couldn't find another place where to post a sstory like this one. Someone told me to post it here or on the Coldstone Chronicles page.

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Cooldude

#4 User is offline   iKaterei 

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Posted 18 February 2003 - 07:11 PM

That's a pretty good story, Cooldude. Interesting plot. Slayer's right, though, it could've easily been made into a few chapters. Spacing out each event with more detail will make your work much longer and more interesting to read. For instance, near the end when the three are captured and taken to the dungeons, you could try writing about how they tried to escape first, or how the prisoners struggled against the chains holding them there. Focusing more on character development will also flesh out your story a bit more. Other than that, I only have two complaints:

Quote

Originally posted by Cooldude:
The muddy paths of the Desert Lands


Deserts are generally presumed to be dry. Lack of water makes it difficult to have muddy paths.

Quote

Originally posted by Cooldude:
zillions of wine and beer bottles


It's probably best to try not to use exaggerating words like that in your writing. It's all right sometimes, as in, "thousands of mosquitoes", but despite "zillions" or "billions" often being used in common speech, it doesn't look quite right as text. If you're just starting out I'd advise you to try and avoid strong exaggerations.

Just suggestions, of course. My writing certainly isn't perfect, so you can choose to ignore my advice if you want. Posted Image Good job though!

Oh yes, I forgot to mention- Coldstone is best for unrelated chrons. Here, we generally stick to Cytheran stories.

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Insignificantly Unforgettable
"The real world can wait, I'm not done with the virtual one yet." - idiotSavant

[This message has been edited by iKaterei (edited 02-18-2003).]

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