Ambrosia Software Web Board: Cythera Chronicles: Silent Dawn: Prologue - Ambrosia Software Web Board

Twelve years had passed since the Tome of Evil had abducted Timon and Ivor. Due to Belil-Gand's superior healing skills, and Sirion's vast knowledge of magic, the boys were no longer drawn to the Tome blindly. In a dark ritual in the fires of Lands End Volcano, Ignae, the fire spirit destroyed the Tome and its creation materials. Timon and Ivor had gone their separate ways, but they had remained inseparable friends all these long years. The time had passed without much uproar. Sirion, who seemed to have an endless supply of mana, had resurrected Thoas the blacksmith, who had given Timon and Ivor quite a scolding, but swords for both. Timon and Ivor had been quite the pair seven years ago, when Timon judged in Kosha for three years. Timon had studied with Anisa in magical history, but followed his father in most ways, as he worked with the elementals and spirits. Exclusively, Timon visited Belil-Gand and Sirion often and the two were happy to teach him all sorts of magic. Ivor on the other hand had taken up an apprenticeship with Thoas and was quite good at it. While he was a good swordsmith, and had made himself a very nice blade that was enchanted with some runes, he was also quite a swordsman and Thoas had sent him to learn with the guard at Land King Hall. Hector, now the captain of the guard, taught his most promising student all he knew and sent him to the retired Hadrian for more. When Ivor returned to Thoas, he was arguably the best swordsman in the land. Ivor had earned his bronze hammer from the guild of blacksmiths and was journeying back to Kosha for a very special party. Timon had achieved his Mastery at Pnyx and he too was coming to Kosha for the same very special party.

The party was Ivor and Timon's twenty-sixth birthday, their coming to adulthood. The party would be huge. Everyone in Kosha was coming, as well as the famed Timon Sr. and Hector, those who had traveled with Hercules. Thoas and Anisa would also be there. Ivor's mother and father were providing a feast of gigantic proportions and Timon Sr. was providing a variety of interesting illusions.

Late that night, as Timon and Ivor stepped up on the platform, and the cheers and clapping had died away, Timon and Ivor presented each other with gifts. Timon handed a box the size of a playing card, but thicker. Ivor carefully opened it, and a shadow floated over to Timon. He caught it and pushed it against Ivor's chest. The shadow grew. It wrapped around him and formed into a dark band all over him. "Instant tan?" Ivor joked and Timon laughed, as well as most of the crowd. It was then that the shadow turned solid. It was a silky black robe.

"It's spell armor. It will protect everything under it from all spells but not even a light cut. I suggest you wear armor under it," Timon explained. Ivor smiled and handed him a key. Timon looked confused. Now it was Ivor's turn to laugh.

"That's Timon! He wants his worth!" Ivor yelled to the crowd.

"He'd better!" Timon Sr. yelled back. At this, most laughed and Ivor blushed. He pulled a book out of his pack and handed it to Timon. He unlocked it with the key and opened it up.

"Oh!" A smile broke across Timon's face. "A lore book! Thank you Ivor!"

"No problem. Thanks for the armor." He smiled too. They turned and walked off to the houses they now owned. Both were quite happy with their gifts. They were happy now, but both would be much happier in later uses of these gifts.

(To be continued)

[This message has been edited by moderator (edited 08-19-2002).]

Good job, Mr. Somebody! It's well written, if a bit short.

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Slayer's guide to Cythera:
[url="http://"http://www.macclassics.com/cythera/cythera.htm"]http://www.macclassi...era/cythera.htm[/url]

Well, it is short, and I of all people should have learned what "short" is by now, but it is only a prologue.

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Ash nazg durbatulûk,
Ash nazg gimbatul,
Ash nazg thrakatulûk,
Agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

Good start, Mr S.

There are a couple of minor internal inconsistencies:

"...gone their separate ways, but they had remained inseparable friends..."

'Separate' and 'inseperable' form a contradiction here; 'remained firm friends', or something similar, would have done just as well without changing the overall intent of the passage.

"...a dark band all over him."

The problem here is that a 'band' is a narrow ring, loop or ribbon; it couldn't be 'all over him', as you intended. I would've suggested something like 'a dark shroud all over him', which I think better conveys what you were trying to get across.

Other than those two, it's pretty good. I wouldn't want to say much more on it yet, until I've seen more of how the series pans out - the next part may be enough. I might have some comments to add on the purpose and use of prologues and epilogues after that.

Keep up the good work!

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The e-mail of the specious is deadlier than their mail

Yay! Cache gave me technical corrections, not general ones! That might be good!

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Ash nazg durbatulûk,
Ash nazg gimbatul,
Ash nazg thrakatulûk,
Agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.