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Cythera Chronicles: The Quest for the Unknown Power, part I

#1 User is offline   ferazel_09 

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Posted 27 November 2001 - 08:44 PM

Ferazel sat down in a seat at the tavern. "I have picked up some high magic readings in a new cave at Land's End. Inside the volcano, there seems to be a power source that gives off mass magic. Anyone who wants to join, please sit down, and after we have a good number, we will set off."
He ordered a round of drinks and practiced Hallucination. Three of the Ronin were at a table in the corner. "The others might be interested," Trinias said; "I'll go and see."
Trinias left the tavern; Flynn and Sasha went and joined Ferazel, helping themselves to drinks. Shortly, Trinias returned with the rest of the Ronin; they joined the group. Katze looked at Ferazel. "Sorry, friend, but I've had my share of adventure for now..."
"But I haven't!" Moonshadow broke in, enthusiastically.
The thought of adventure excited her, and besides, it might take her mind off the recent events... "So, when will we start? And what exactly are we looking for?" She stared at Ferazel intently, eyes blazing golden.
"Soon, hopefully," said Ferazel.
Avatara stood up, after some long thought. After a brief conversation with Shinikath, Avatara said, "We'll come, all four of us."
Avatara, Shinikath, Eldiren, and Ithrun walked over to join the group. As they were walking over, a young warrior ran up to Avatara, and they engaged in another brief conversation. Looking at Ferazel, the warrior told him that he was coming. Trundaylan walked over with the others. "I don't exactly know what we're looking for. I'm thinking that it's a magical power source or provider of some sort. It might have been created by a great mage, maybe Tavara or Alaric made it. It gives off lots and lots of magical energy, but I don't know what substance it's made of," Ferazel said.
One of his hallucinations beat Katze in a game of dice. "Hey! Give that back!" Ferazel shouts.
"No, I'm Ferazel!" another Ferazel says. "No! I'm the real Ferazel!" another one says. "Whoever the real Ferazel is, cast Embrightenment," a patron says.
All the Ferazels cast Embrighenment. Everyone was blinded by the light. Fortunately, the hallucinations all disappeared. Ferazel blindly cast Cure all over, and then to himself. "Heh heh," Ferazel said, "I really need to work the bugs out of that spell..."
Rogan entered the tavern. He seemed extremely tired and looked like he was suffering from a terrible hangover. He sat down, raised his arm and yelled "Wine!" Quickly, the bartender handed him a bottle and Rogan quickly put it into his bag. "You're not going to drink it?" asked Ferazel.
"No, I need to relax a bit from the heavy drinking... you see, me and my team returned from a treasure hunt yesterday and I can say we found quite a bit of loot! Gems, gold, oboloi and weapons... anyways, we went to Korax's house afterwards to celebrate, and -you know- one thing led to the other, one bottle led to two bottles... but I think I'm about to recover now."
"So you're not hungry for adventure?" asked Avatara.
"Hell yeah!" Rogan responded instantly, "just because I'm a little tired doesn't mean I won't be out on another quest soon!"
Ferazel sat down by Rogan's table and explained about the quest the others were about to embark on, and asks Rogan if he'd care to join. "Very well, I'll join you.. sounds exciting... let me just do one thing first"
Rogan than ordered a pail full of milk and drank it all. "Very good for hangovers," he said with a smile.
So they all set off, Ferazel, Flynn, Kwon Chen, Trinias, Wolmark, Leandra, Sasha, Ulf, Moonshadow, Avatara, Shinikath, Eldiren, Ithrun, Trundaylan, and Rogan. They all left the bar, walked out of town, and started the long southern journey to Land's End. After several hours, they had gone through several ruffians and a polyp. Nightfall is coming, so they set up a camp. They took the night watch in shifts. Trundaylan settled against a tree trunk at the edge of the fire, listening and scanning the woods around. About half way through his watch, he caught a glimpse out of the corner of his eye of a shadowy figure climbing up into the tree ten yards or so away. With a soft yell, the whole camp was awake, and after a hurried conversation of wispers, they circled slowly around the tree, weapons drawn. When they had the tree completely surrounded, Ferazel yelled, "Who are you that hides in the shadows at night?"
A crunch came from behind him. The whole group whirled around and saw an elf smiling at them. "Well met. For those who don't know, I am Lindor, and I have come to join your quest, despite..." he glared at the dark elves.
Shinikath made no indication that he knew Lindor despised him. Avatara, quickly taking the initiative smiled and stood up. "Please, let's not continue this rivalry here. There are many more important things to consider than age old feuds over a long past incident. We welcome you to the group Lindor."
They slept throught the night with only one ruffian attack. In the morning, they got up and packed up. They all journeyed southward more. After several more hours, they reached Kosha. Stopping there to pick up supplies and rest, the local gossip was how Pelagon had gone insane. The villagers had said that Pelagon had started to act insanely and had been sent to the prison. He had escaped and was rumored to be roaming the area.

To Be Continued...

[This message has been edited by moderator (edited 12-17-2001).]
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#2 User is offline   Slayer 

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Posted 18 December 2001 - 12:07 AM

Overall, the chronicle's pretty good. The scene in the tavern seemed a little discordant, though. Also, in the future, make sure that tenses agree throughout the chronicle. i.e. don't have this: "So-and-so does this. So-and-so did that."


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Slayer's guide to Cythera:
[url="http://"http://www.macclassics.com/cythera/cythera.htm"]http://www.macclassi...era/cythera.htm[/url]
Slayer's guide to Cythera:
http://russell.stanb...ide/cythera.htm

#3 User is offline   cache22 

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Posted 18 December 2001 - 01:50 PM

Yes, I noticed when re-reading that I used some odd tenses in those early posts; can't imagine what I was thinking! Sorry for making life difficult for you, Ferazel and Slayer!

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Kobayashi Maru!
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#4 User is offline   Talos 

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Posted 18 December 2001 - 07:33 PM

Quote

Originally posted by cache22:
Yes, I noticed when re-reading that I used some odd tenses in those early posts; can't imagine what I was thinking! Sorry for making life difficult for you, Ferazel and Slayer!



Don't feel bad... I don't think there's a single team story that was written in a constant tense.

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Bronze: the other gold metal.  | |  And so the space toaster hardened the outer layers of the doughy, ooey-gooey ancient Earth...
Bacchus Publishing: [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/vftp/show.pl?product=evo&category=guides&display=date&file=ChroniclesByJake101.sit.hqx"]Chronicles by Jake101: the unposted chapters[/url].
Bronze: the other gold metal.   ||   And so the space toaster hardened the outer layers of the doughy, ooey-gooey ancient Earth...
Bacchus Publishing: [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/vftp/show.pl?product=evo&category=guides&display=date&file=ChroniclesByJake101.sit.hqx"]Chronicles by Jake101: the unposted chapters[/url].

#5 User is offline   Loren5 

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Posted 18 December 2001 - 11:58 PM

Hey, Great story! But if you want some critisism, I'd say too many characters to keep track of and not enough character development.

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#6 User is offline   cache22 

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Posted 19 December 2001 - 12:33 AM

Greetings, Loren5. Although this is an unusual place for it, welcome to Cythera! Posted Image

This particular chronicle is a retelling, in chronicle form, of a Cytheran 'Team Story' - where one person starts the story off, and other posters join in. Each contributes a small part as they see the opportunity, then leaves it open for the next poster.

It's a lot of fun - you should pop over to the Cythera board and try it sometime! Posted Image

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Kobayashi Maru!
"The e-mail of the specious is deadlier than their mail" - Tom Holt, 'Snow White and the Seven Samurai'

#7 User is offline   TheDarkDragon 

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Posted 17 June 2002 - 05:31 PM

Nicely done Ferazel.

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#8 User is offline   Bryce 

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Posted 26 June 2002 - 11:04 AM

Quote

Originally posted by TheDarkDragon:
Nicely done Ferazel.


Sig Test! I know one when I see one! Posted Image

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