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Cythera Chronicles: A ruined crop (part two)

#1 User is offline   Heidel 

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Posted 07 March 2001 - 11:37 AM

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Recapitulation: Young boy Hage has run away from his foster home, the vineyard of Glaucus. Glaucus is traveling to the north to find a cure for the ruined crop of grapes that's plaguing the farm. Hage has managed to hide in Glaucus wagon as it rocks along the stony way leading from the farm - and away from Hage's only close friend, the older girl Fola.

Part 2



Several hours later the wagon slowed down and came to a stop. After the deafening thumping and clatter of the wine barrels on the wagon-floor, the silence felt almost physical to Hage. He lay still under the low ceiling that the canvas-top formed over the barrels.

When his ears became used to the silence, he could hear a nearby stream. Glaucus was probably watering the horses and letting them feed on the grass. Perhaps he had a snack himself. Hage wasn't hungry yet, so he just laid there and watched the patterns of light and shadow on the canvas.

Already, he was further from the farm than he'd ever been in his life. At the most he'd joined the older boys when they walked a few hours to the nearest neighbouring farm on errands. If he would have walked the same distance as the wagon had traveled, it would have taken most of the day.

Glaucus finished whatever he was doing and tended to the horses. When they were well fed and becoming restless, Glaucus climbed into the seat again and motioned the horses along the road.

Having been recently fed, the horses walked more slowly than before. When he was no longer jolted, Hage instead fell asleep by the rocking motions.

He had no idea how long he'd been asleep when he woke up again. His drowsiness evaporated faster than water on a cooking stove when he realized who was staring down at him. Glaucus rose above him, his hands clenched and brow furrowed.

"Of all the stupid ideas... What on earth possessed you to even THINK about doing this?" Hage didn't answer Glaucus' stuttering speech, but he tried to sit up straighter on the wagon-floor. They were standing on small yard in front of an inn and a stable-boy tended to the horses, but followed the scene on the wagon with great interest.
"You have to be out of your mind. Silly, stupid - plain silly and stupid." Words faltered in the end and Glaucus went silent.

Hage ventured to say something in a low voice: "I always wanted to see the town. But mostly to find my mother. She is somewhere in the north, I know she is."
Glaucus raised his clenched fists above his head and echoed his words: "To see the town. To find his mother." Looking down at Hage again he said, in a slightly calmer voice: "You sleep in the stable tonight. We'll talk about this in the morning. Tend to the horses." On the way down from the wagon, Glaucus slammed his fist into one of the wine-barrels and then once more.

The stable-boy was wide-eyed. "He didn't hit you! If it had been my master, I'd get a good slapping. You're so lucky." He continued talking about his master's vices and how lucky Hage was while they took care of the horses. Hage didn't really listen.
What if Glaucus decided to go back to the farm to leave him, or if he managed to get the master of the inn to keep him there? Then what?

That night, in the straw of the stable, he ate his food. The bread was still soft and fresh, the cheese was slightly sweaty after the journey. It tasted normal, almost as it did at home on the farm. But the cold water from the yard's waterpump that completed the dinner, didn't taste like the water at home. It had a metalic taste to it. Without really knowing it, tears started to roll down on to his cheeks. They didn't stop rolling until after he fallen asleep, tightly gripping the cloth with the last crumbs from home.

A visit to town



Hage's eyes sparkled with excitement when the wagon slowly rolled through the town. The sights, the sounds, even the smells were so different. People of all sizes and shapes walked along the roads, they spoke so many different dialects and used so many new words. As the carriage made its way towards the marketplace, Hage was treated to the smells of newly baked bread, frying meat, the odor of hot metal being banged on by big blacksmiths. All the smells he already felt at the farm, but here they were so much stronger. It was as if a giant had taken the vapours from the bakery, the restaurant, and the blacksmith and pressed them like grapes to make them more condensed than Hage had ever smelled before.

At the breakfast at the inn a week ago, Glaucus had made it clear that Hage was an irresponsible and irritating child and an incredible burden on the journey. "I should let you walk home!" he shouted. Hage had cried and begged forgiveness and promised not to be a nuisance - if Glaucus would only bring him along. "I can take care of the horses. And... and run errands and everything."

Calming down when he saw that Hage was truly sorry, Glaucus related his decision to bring Hage with him. "But you do as I say. And I can't help you find your mother - but you'll see a town. And you have to sleep in the stable with the horses." Easy things to agree to, Hage thought. He had feared that he would be sent home as once.

The journey had been uneventful. Hage could sit by Glaucus on the bench. Mostly he would look out over the landscape. Constantly he was surprised how like home it was, but yesterday, when they paused by the road, Glaucus had told him that they soon would come to a town. "We'll only make a short stop. We have to move on quickly, you understand?" It was almost impossible to sleep that night. In the sky, all the stars formed roads almost like the sun-beams back home on the hayloft.

He was still wide-eyed when Glaucus ventured through the city and approached the harbour. Reining the horses besides a low tavern, he told Hage: "I need to find a friend of mine. Perhaps they know of him here. You wait here and give the horses water. Do not walk away. Don't talk to strangers either. If anything happens, I'm right inside the door - you just shout if you need any help."

Hage looked around and found a trough of water along the wall. Fetching an bucket from the waggon, he filled it and put it on the ground for the horses to drink from. Stroking their backs, Hage could take a better look at the environment. The tavern was built with wooden planks, grey from age and salty air from the sea. Between the tavern and the docks, the ground was covered with stones, constantly muddy from the seawater.

Beyond the wooden pier that streched out into the water Hage could see the sea. The sea. It looked like the lake by the farm but it went on forever. He found it difficult not to follow the waves as they travelled towards the shore, where they splashed and disappeared. He walked to the docks and looked into the deep water. A herd of white blotches waved at him from the depths. Long threads extended from the creatures and formed nets that swelled and contracted. He slunk back from the edge, suddenly fearful that the things would try to snare him with their nets and draw him down into the water. Once he saw one of the bulls at the farm beeing driven almost insane by a swarm of wasps. Since then Hage had learned to be wary of small creatures in large numbers.

"Hey, what are you doing? Stop, get away from there!" There was a tumult by the wagon. Two men were on the wagon-floor, pulling of the canvas and searching for something to steal. An elderly man was shouting at them from the ground. "Thieves! Thieves! Get away from there, I say!" Hage started running. The man's screams brought curious bystanders to the wagon. Some of them started to help both the men, the others just seemed to be curiously looking at the spectacle or shouting encouragement. The old man stopped screaming and instead started to bump into some of the spectators, sometimes putting his hand into their pockets.

Hage was cold with anger and fear. Glaucus would kill him for not guarding the wagon. "Help! Glaucus! Help!" He screamed at the top of his voice. He couldn't even get through to the wagon, the people surrounding it didn't move to let him pass. When he circled the group to find a passage he saw Glaucus come out from the tavern. He was accompanied by a tall man carrying an even taller staff. Before Hage could run to Glaucus, the tall man lifted the staff and brought it's end down on the pavement. A dark vibrating chime rang out as from a heavy bell. The staff must be solid metal, Hage thought as the man brought it down a second time. All activity stopped. The men on the wagon-floor let go of the goods. The audience turned towards the tavern. Even the old man stopped bumping into people. "Ah, curses. The thief-master," someone in the crowd whispered.

"Friends, friends. Although it warms my heart to see you bustling about with so much energy and zest, I have to ask you to halt at once. Please." His speech was greeted with sullen silence, but the men on the wagon jumped down and the spectators dispersed. "Oh, by the way, Roste, you haven't forget that you have a tab to pay at the tavern do you? How much did you just collect from the audience?" The old man made a face: "Only a few coins, nothing much. Almost nothing at all." His whining died down. With a sigh he tottered towards the tavern-door, muttering below his breath. The man with the staff stared at Hage and turned to Glaucus. "You choose young helpers these days. Personally, I would recommend someone a few sizes bigger - or perhaps bigger food rations for them, eh?" "He's a stowaway. He wanted to go to the north to look for his mother. I have to bring him with me back home again when I'm finished." Glaucus explaned unpatiently. "Well, I still think he should have more to eat. You - come here," the man said to Hage and motioned with the staff. "Yes, mister thief-master?"

"Whoa, you know who I am? Well, well - you would know. Sharp ears that one has," he said to Glaucus before turning to Hage again. "I think it's better you call me Troskel when in public. I like the *mister* bit, though. You can keep calling me that, all right?" With one hand on Hage's shoulder, he pushed open the door to the tavern. "How would you like some bread and fish? And a jug of small-beer?" His words awakened Hage's hunger.
"But what about the wagon? I have to watch it," Hage protested. "I don't think it will be a problem any longer," Glaucus said. Passing them in the doorway was the old man, looking sour. "Roste, by the way - keep an eye on the wagon if you please. There's some money in it for you, if it's untouched when we're back," said the tall man before closing the tavern-door behind them with a thud.

(To be continued)

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[This message has been edited by Slayer (edited 04-24-2001).]

#2 User is offline   Slayer 

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Posted 12 March 2001 - 07:19 PM

Excllent work on the second chapter of your "Ruined Crop" story. I can hardly wait for part 4[sic].

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#3 User is offline   Talos 

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Posted 12 March 2001 - 09:15 PM

Very nice work... it's good to know that you've decided to continue. Hopefully your next part will be posted soon. Posted Image

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<font color="gold">Bronze: the other gold metal.
Bacchus Publishing: [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/vftp/show.pl?product=evo&category=guides&display=date&file=ChroniclesByJake101.sit.hqx"]Chronicles by Jake101: the unposted chapters[/url], [url="http://"http://users.erols.com/alkrauss/Once_Again.html"]Once Again: on the web.[/url]
Bacchus Freeware: Olympus Wars, a plugin for EV:N.
Bronze: the other gold metal.   ||   And so the space toaster hardened the outer layers of the doughy, ooey-gooey ancient Earth...
Bacchus Publishing: [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/vftp/show.pl?product=evo&category=guides&display=date&file=ChroniclesByJake101.sit.hqx"]Chronicles by Jake101: the unposted chapters[/url].

#4 User is offline   TheDarkDragon 

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Posted 12 March 2001 - 09:18 PM

Awesome! If the last one didn't deserve 2 karma points, this one sure did!
I especially love the almost suspenseful feel in combonation with the exelent... texture? I think that would work. Exelent realism aswell.

You should definitely drop by the boards, some of the team stories could certainly use your touch.

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#5 User is offline   Rogan 

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Posted 13 March 2001 - 08:30 AM

An excellent continuation. Very realistic.

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#6 User is offline   Heidel 

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Posted 14 March 2001 - 02:42 AM

Hi everyone! I'm sorry that I'm not been an active poster on this board. Unfortunately time is limited -- it's not always time to do the things you like.

I must say that I'm almost blushing from your praise for "A ruined crop" - thanks.

The story is built for small concepts and sketches for other fantasy short stories I've written trough the years. To put any speculation to rest -- it's not "blue printed" from an existing novel (I do not endorse the act of piracy, no matter what area.) And no, I'm not a professional writer -- but how I would love to be that someday! :-)

If I could ask you guys and girls a favour, it would be: Please critize my stories. Hack them to pieces if you find inconsistencys (sp?), if the portraits of the people lack depth or colour and if you think they're too long (or short). Please - I can only write better stories if I know what you like to read.

Take care everyone, Heidel

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#7 User is offline   Talos 

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Posted 14 March 2001 - 06:17 AM

Hmm... problems... well, I haven't seen any inconsistencies, and I like the writing style. I'll keep in eye out in future chapters though. Posted Image

------------------
<font color="gold">Bronze: the other gold metal.
Bacchus Publishing: [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/vftp/show.pl?product=evo&category=guides&display=date&file=ChroniclesByJake101.sit.hqx"]Chronicles by Jake101: the unposted chapters[/url], [url="http://"http://users.erols.com/alkrauss/Once_Again.html"]Once Again: on the web.[/url]
Bacchus Freeware: Olympus Wars, a plugin for EV:N.
Bronze: the other gold metal.   ||   And so the space toaster hardened the outer layers of the doughy, ooey-gooey ancient Earth...
Bacchus Publishing: [url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/vftp/show.pl?product=evo&category=guides&display=date&file=ChroniclesByJake101.sit.hqx"]Chronicles by Jake101: the unposted chapters[/url].

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