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Cythera Chronicles: Talis Vs Kyla: Good vs Evil, But Which Side Is Which?

#1 User is offline   Dark Jet 

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Posted 23 June 2004 - 05:11 PM

Chapter 1: Choosing Sides...
Talryn woke up right before the Captain walked into the barracks. He always hated doing sparing(sp?). Talryn got dressed just as the Captain walked in and yelled, "Come get up! Get up you lazy heads. First off the sparing then we work out. And maybe just maybe we might go out for patrol duty."
Talryn grabbed his leather armor, his spear, pack and sword. He followed the captain out. "Captain would you like to spar, sir?" asked Talryn in a mostly weak voice.
"Sure, 2nd Lt. Talryn, choose a field and lets start." replied the captain. "And don't go easy on me because I am a commanding officer. I hate it when they do that, show me what you got."
Talryn pulled his leather armor on and set his pack down. He put on his two shoulder harness, one for the spear, the other for the sword. Talryn walked half way to the middle and waited to see what his "enemy" would do. That’s how Talryn spared (sp?), who ever he was "dueling" with he imagined that they were one of the Kyla.

After a long two hours of sparing, (with breaks in between) Talryn got ready to move out to the barracks towards where the weight/training room was. As he was packing up he saw a shadow being cast over him. I bet it is 1st Lt. Torek wanting to challenge me to a duel for 1st Lt. This is going to be a long day... "Second Lt. Talryn, I challenge you to a duel for the position of 1st Lt. Do you accept or decline?"
Talryn turned and yep it was 1st Lt. Torek. if I don’t accept I'll get made fun of and probably get beat up again...If I do, it will be a hard match... "1st Lt. Torek sir, I accept."
Torek choose a place and picked a pot to start off at, Talryn did the same, exactly opposite of Torek. "Same rules as last time, first one to bleed severely loses, or first one to yield loses. Oh and first one knocked out loses. Any questions?"
"No sir, your move." replied Talryn, planting his feet firmly drawing his spear as Torek draws his sword. Torek came running at Talryn with his sword level for Talryn's heart. Talryn deflected the blow with his spear but staggered back. Talryn did a swing to the left then back to the right then he stabbed. Torek dodged the two swings but hit the spear hard with his blade.
The recoil and the force of the deflect made the spear fly out of his hands and acting on instinct, he drew his sword quickly. Torek smiled as he saw the spear land off to his right and too far for Talryn to run and grab it and defend himself. Then Torek noticed a gathering crowd. His smile grew bigger, then he raised the long sword and got ready to find a weakness in Talryn’s next attack.
Talryn noticed this and thought of something crazy. Run at him like he did me but jumped over him instead of waiting for the blade to be deflected or cut through flesh. Talryn did exactly what he thought of. Torek saw that it appeared to be the same attack he did so he braced him self and got read to send Talryn flying with one stroke.
Talryn charged and pulled the sword back and jumped right as Torek dig a huge swing which would have cut Talryn in half and would've been thrown into the crowd. Talryn did a 180° turn in air so he landed Torek facing his back. Torek saw that Talryn meant to jump, but it was too late...He tried to bring his big sword around when he turned but it slipped from his grasp. He saw Talryn smile right before he blacked out.
Talryn smiled as he saw Torek trying to recover. I could kill him and get this done once and for all... No, just stab him. Wait better yet knock him out so he has to deal with this if we go patrolling today. Talryn turned his sword around so the hilt of the sword was facing Torek's half turned back. He hit Torek's head real hard but not hard enough to cause brain damage.

A few hours later at the city gate, after doing everything, the Captain said that they are going to do a recon mission. He decided to make Torek a messenger. The captain explained that they were going into a Kyla village. Although the Kyla and the Talis are both humans, they have different ideals.
Torek was sent back to the city as soon as we saw the village. Standing on the hill, Talryn observed the village below. He then noticed a huge dust cloud off in the distance coming here. “Ah, they’re here, just in time.” Talryn turned around and saw a legion or two charged down past them on horse straight to the village.
“Sir, you said that this was just a recon…” Talryn’s voice trailed off as he heard screams from below. He didn’t dare turn to see the horror.
“I know, it was but I was informed that this village would be destroyed after we did a recon.” The captain turned and started to go down the hill. Everyone got into formation and started riding back to the city.
A few hours later, the two legions came up. “Thanks for the recon, Captain.” Said one of the lead riders.
“Your welcome Major.” Replied the captain. The two legions merged with the captain’s squad. Talryn slowed down and moved to the back. There he found a couple of warriors whispering.
“Can I join you?” Talryn said as he moved closer.
“Sure, Lt.” Replied one of them. As Talryn talked he found that he wasn’t the only one questioning his loyalty. This group didn’t want to have slaughtered the women children and innocent men. But orders were orders,
“You know how they say we are the good guys and they are the bad. I can’t help myself keep thinking that the sides are switched. I mean when the Kyla attack towns and places, they don’t kill people they just defend themselves and give the people a scare then they leave.” Talryn thought aloud, then realized he had spoken. The others thought for a moment then agreed. “If this is going to happen again lets defect. I mean like we are doing now, just slow down then ride for a city of Kyla.”
The next day the captain said the same thing was going to happen. Talryn meet up with the others and found out they too had nightmares, but worse than Talryn’s. So they did exactly what they had planned. Later after the fight, Talryn said, “We have about 3 days to make it to the nearest city before we are cut down by our own troops.”
“Or you could now say, cut down by the enemy.” One of the quite ones half whispered. So they rode for all their worth, the five of them.
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iKaterei said:

i wish i could put ... in all caps

#2 User is offline   Avatara 

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Posted 17 October 2004 - 03:53 PM

This story has potential, especially with a moral conflict adding some depth to the characters. Yet, in order to pull it off, perhaps you could try detailing a bit more on why the Kyla are supposed to be considered evil - what did they do to make the Talis hate them so much?

Also, the Talis ranking system is a bit confusing, and seems to detract from the story a bit. The whole system about dueling still works out if you leave out the ranks, we know they're challenging over a more powerful position. (is Talryn a first lieutenant, second lieutenant, what? Which is better? If he's a second, and first is higher, why are the firsts challenging him for their position?)
"Sometimes I get confused whether I'm posting on ATT or in the War Room. But then I remind myself: If it's moderators acting scatter-brained and foolish, then it's the War Room*.

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#3 User is offline   Dark Jet 

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Posted 25 October 2004 - 10:19 PM

First is higher, the guy challenged him just to make fun of him. Background info that i probably should've added: He keeps losing at duels. The fact that he beat him is a great achievement. Talis and the Kyla are at war cause well you know, like in Alpha Centuri, say you just discovered "the hive" and chairman yang gets pissed off. Can do anything about it except fight back. "nothing can earn friendship..." So Talis are made at the Kyla because they were barbarians, and well even though that they may have gotten more advanced the Talis still think they are barbs. and if they atttack you, what do u do defend urself. But the Kyla are getting anyoned from being raided on and attacked and stole from. So it has become officaly war. I wasn't expecting this to come out, but since it has. Some stuff has changed.

Oh, and it is one way to get promoted in the Talis army. Since people in high postions dont die that offten. But only a person of higher rank can challenge one of lower. Anyone higher that a capt. don't really challenge anyone because thats when you start reaching postions of real power.

Btw, could i say post a ts that my friends have done over msn messenger under the Chrons? or just post it under the other CYthera spot?

-Dark Jet

This post has been edited by Dark Jet: 25 October 2004 - 10:23 PM

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iKaterei said:

i wish i could put ... in all caps

#4 User is offline   Dark Jet 

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Posted 25 October 2004 - 10:34 PM

Okay after reading what i posted this is waht happens with a challenge:

rank:
Warrior>5th Warrior> 4th Warrior> 3rd Warrior> 2nd Warrior>1st Warrior> 3rd Lt.> 2nd Lt.> 1st Lt.> Captain> 5th Major> 4th Major> 3rd Major> 2nd Major> 1st Major> 3 Lt Captain > 2 Lt Captain > 1 Lt Captain > 2 Lt Major> 1 Lt Major> Genral 1> G. 2> G. 3> G. 4> G.5> Admrial> Grand Admrial.

G. A. is the highest rank, and thats all of the ranks for you. Well good night

-Dark Jet
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iKaterei said:

i wish i could put ... in all caps

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