Ambrosia Software Web Board: Officers Club (Budget) Bar - Ambrosia Software Web Board

just found this topic , lets kill the monopoly on drinks

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Being 6 feet tall isnt bad , just not as fun as being 50 feet tall

Hey guys. I was kicked out of the other bar for bringing a Salrillian blaster in and killing Madonna. Well I was just wondering if you guys had any better drinks than Commander Cicion's Bar. Last time I asked for a Obish Kalvikistuc but they never gave me it so can I have one here.

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Mac will live forever
I'm fine with OS Nine
I have an iMac, it rocks
Die Windows!

As the bomb explodes at Cicions bar, inside jimmys bar you can hear several screams and other such things flying in the air. Right then a human female fly's out of Cicions bar from the explosive and falls down right on Jimmy's doorstep. Athena casually gets up, brushes of the dust from her butt and walks over to Jimmy.
"Hey Jimmy! Have anything to finish knocking me out?"

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No one gets what they wish for,
They get what they work for.

Wow this bar is actually getting some business, it's been empty for almost a year. The most action that's happened here ever since you guys came in was that tumbleweed blowin into the bar over there in the corner...How bout a few drinks on the house for old times sake. Sounds like things aren't goin so well over there at cicions bar eh?

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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page

I tell you what cicion has you brainwashed with those fancy drinks of his...at this bar we only serve the finest, authentic beers from Earth. How bout a good ol' coors on the house for everyone.
**Jimmy Page slides a couple beer cans down the bar railing**

So i suppose this bar is gonna need some protection from the big bar...hmm well looks like i'll have to put these guys back on duty..

**at the snap of a fingure the audomen swat team emerges from the shadows in the back of the bar, they take strategic positions in the inside and outside of the bar**

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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page

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mikeeJ | Proud member of the vast right-wing conspiracy | zergess@yahoo.com
"The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws." - Tacitus

After jimmy set his squat team around the bar Athena, who was still in shock from the explosion, suddenly collapsed on the floor. As she was lying there unconcious no one truly took any notice of her. So after severaly hours of lying on the floor Athena woke up from the sound of space ships blasting out of the area. She quickly got up, a little startled, and casually walked over to the bar and asked jimmy for her free earth Coor's beer.

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No one gets what they wish for,
They get what they work for.

here's your beer...slides it down the railing making it stop right in front of athena.

so tell me...what planet are you from?

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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page

*walks in from about 2 years of exile with an expression of being about to speak...*
"umm..."
*walks out in confusion"
*walks back in with an expression of being about to speak*
"...uhh..."
*walks out with an expression of having lost the words he was about to speak*
*walks back in a third time with an expression of being about to speak...yet again*
"...uhh...hi?"
*walks out in confusion*
*a bottle of Pangalactic Gargleblaster with date 927 B.C. stamped on it rolls into the bar*
(heard from background) "...hic..."

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Your Horoscope for Today (Wierd Al):
Gemini
Your birthday will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest

one of the audomen guards outside gets bored and shoots peimur in the foot a couple times with his laser gun.

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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page

*what emanates from Piemur1's mouth makes everyone in even cicion's bar wince*
*glasses shatter*
*cows moo*
*wierd al thinks up a new song*
*ships lose integrity*
*the gun that shot Piemur1 fires many more times*
*the noise stops*

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"Live by the sword...live a good long time!"
-Minsk from Baldur's Gate II
"Live by the blaster...live a good long time"
-Piemur1's version of Minsk's quote from Baldur's Gate II

A wickedly bright flash suddenly occurs in the corner of Page's bar and DF appears looking kinda gold.
"Greetings again. The old dead topic has been reanimated but right now I use Taeskor's bar. Good to see that there is another place to go should I need it" DF said right before another bright flash swallowed him up

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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes.

Wierd Al sudenly materialises in the bar, and starts singing It's all about the Pentiums, baby. He manages to reach the first refrain before everyone in the bar simultaneously shoots him. Wierd Al coats the wall.

*silence*

*silence*

Karrde: I think that the decor in this place doesnt look too cheery anymore...bartender, how about a stiff double Romulan Ale?

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This Vid is a bit like my beast; extremely long, and best enjoyed with a mouthful of nuts.
-Ali G.

sorry sir, we only serve old school earthling alcohol here..

**Gets a sponge and starts cleaning up the wall**

damn this place is a dump, i gotta do some spring cleaning...


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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page

thanks to the recent visitors this bar has accumulated enough money to possibly buy something new! wow...what should i buy?

Maybe a couple of guns would be nice because there has been an infestation of mice in here. there's even been a sighting of a 10 ft tall rat roaming around outside this bar lately...I've noticed a couple of my audomen guards have been disapearing...hmmm

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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page

*walks into the bar shaking his head*
*looks up in surprise as to where he went*
"oh! the budget bar! alright!"
*goes up to Page, still cleaning Weird Al off the wall, complicated by matters of holes in the wall*
Piemur1: "how much for an "x" drink?"
Jimmy Page: "1 million scintak"
Piemur1: "drat! oh look! a bullet hole! ill give this to you!"
Jimmy Page: "Cool! ill take it! here you go!"
*gives Piemur1 a glass of old terran beer, very old...*
*Piemur1 spills it on the floor by accident, evidently already drunk*
*the beer makes a bottomless pit*
Jimmy Page: "how can you give it to me? how do i take it?"
Piemur1: "uhh, you have to get it with a crowbar...ill go get it for you"
*Piemur1 goes to the back unsteadily and encounters a very large rat...*
Piemur1: "hi!"
V-L-Rat: "squeak..."
Piemur1: "oh yeah, i need a universal translater, you must not be from around here, aren't you?"
V-L-Rat: "squeak! squeak! squeak!" (roughly translated [childred! dinner is served!])

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"Live by the sword...live a good long time!"
-Minsk from Baldur's Gate II
"Live by the blaster...live a good long time"
-Piemur1's version of Minsk's quote from Baldur's Gate II

**jimmy page runs out and nails the rat with a rail gun, it hits the rat and bounces off. Jimmy page then runs back into the bar and locks the door**

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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page

Athena, with a curious look to her face, walks over towards Jimmy and simply asks, "Umm... Jimmy? Umm... why don't you just hire an exterminator? It might be easier than shooting rats the whole time. Or since you have ten foot rats why not just get a group of marines?"

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No one gets what they wish for,
They get what they work for.

*walks back from the storage room, battered and wearing torn clothing*
Piemur1: "no need...i already got rid of them..."
Jimmy: "how?"
Piemur1: "I started singing Wierd Al's "Trigger Happy" and got through the whole thing 3 times before they ran out...oh by the way, i told them that weird al got shot in cicion's bar, and they wont be tortured anymore..."
*grins evilly for a second before flopping over and begins to moan *
Piemur1 (weakly): "But that didn't stop them from beating the crap out of me first..."

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"Live by the sword...live a good long time!"
-Minsk from Baldur's Gate II
"Live by the blaster...live a good long time"
-Piemur1's version of Minsk's quote from Baldur's Gate II

[This message has been edited by Piemur1 (edited 05-01-2001).]

hey! why arent anyone coming here anymore? no wait, this is the Budget Bar! never mind!

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"At ----- , bullcrap is our most important product"
-graffiti on the lavatory wall of a major consultancy (from The Wizardry Consulted)

Happily forgetting the last few posts, Karrde starts singing...

Trigger happy, trigger happy everyday (happy every day)
comeon and grab your ammo,
what have you got to lose?
we'll get all liquored up,
and shoot at anything that mooo-hooves!

Gotta brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight! (shoot to kill now![repeat])
oh I hope someone tries to break in heeehere tonight! (shoot to kill now[repeat])
I always keep a magnum in my trunk, you'd better ask yourself,
do you feel lucky punk?[i]

*the rats appear...*


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[i]This Vid is a bit like my beast; extremely long, and best enjoyed with a mouthful of nuts.
-Ali G.

This bar seems to have more visitors then the new bar cicion put up to replace the old one i blew up. yay! free drinks for all!

**jimmy page kicks the jukebox and it starts playing loud music which drowns out talons horrid singing**

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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page

*piemur1 orders a dr. pepper*
Jimmy: "sorry, we only have dr. salt"
Piemur1: "what, it actually exists?"
*orders dr. salt*
*drinks it*
*immediatly, all water in piemur1's body run out of his pores and he shrivles up into a prune-like state*
*jimmy gets a large pail of water and pours it over piemur1*
*piemur1 gets rehydrated*
Jimmy: "thats the only problem with it"
Piemur1: "whoa, what a rush! theres nothing wrong with it! gimme another! at least you dont get drunk on it! "
*proceeds to do it over and over*
Jimmy: "but the water is extra, not included in the free drinks, because you dont actually drink it"
*piemur1, in the middle of his 14th dr. salt, looks at jimmy with a look of horror*
Piemur1: "neha' 'eind, 'heck 'leathe"
*continues shrivling*
*jimmy pours one more bucket of water*
Jimmy: "that last one is on the house"
Piemur1: "thanks...i guess...now how much for that?"
Jimmy: "14,000 scintak...this will be the most i ever made in my entire life!"
Piemur1: "uhh...well...you never told me how much per bucket of water...wait...1000 scintak per bucket of water?!? thats outrageous! why so much?"
Jimmy: "well, it needs to be at least 10% H2O for it to be effective...here, its a specialty item."
Piemur1: "no way!"
*leaves the bar in disgust*
*jimmy, being too poor to hire bouncers, does nothing except hang his head in sorrow...*

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"At ----- , bullcrap is our most important product"
-graffiti on the lavatory wall of a major consultancy (from The Wizardry Consulted)

[This message has been edited by Piemur1 (edited 05-05-2001).]

**piemur forgets about the audomen guards outside, who pick him up and start to beat him senseless.

when they're done they throw him back into the bar.

**Jimmy page stares at piemur and sticks his hand out for money expecting piemur to give him his pay...

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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page

Piemur1 (senseless): "what hit me?"
Jimmy (sensibly): "audomon guards"
Piemur1 (regaining his senses): "oh, that, well, i guess i have to pay you somehow...hey wait a sec! didn't you say something like:

Quote

Piemur1 (continuing): "so you are breaking two of your own rules! so...i think you are in trouble mister!"
*a bunch of human guards from the bar-rule-breaking agency come in and close the bar*
Piemur1 (calling out): "i'm sorry everyone, we've been onto this person for a long time now and i, as an undercover agent, have just had enough evidence to close this bar. 1) he doesnt have a bar-running license"
Jimmy: "yes i do!"
*holds it out*
Piemur1: "err...2) his bar is very unsanitary...it had 10 ft rats..."
Jimmy: "err...no...remember? you chased them out a couple days ago"
Piemur1: "oh...well...3) his drinks are very bad for one's health...hope he cant find anything for this one"
Jimmy: "well, you had a bunch of those dr. salts and you said and i quote:

Quote

Piemur1: "oh...yeah...finally...4) he broke 2 of his own rules he made from his first day of opening the bar...first, all drinks are 1 dollar, but he charged me 1,000 scintak per bucket of water..."
Jimmy: "but i never specified which kind of dollar...and i have been quite generous to many people here...didnt i even sell the bar for a pretty rock? or something like that?"
Piemur1: "oh...yeah...but he also said:

Quote

Piemur1: "which he quite clearly broke himself..."
Jimmy: "oh, weeeell, who remembers THAT?"
Piemur1: "i did!"
Jimmy: "oh..."

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"At ----- , bullcrap is our most important product"
-graffiti on the lavatory wall of a major consultancy (from The Wizardry Consulted)

[This message has been edited by Piemur1 (edited 05-06-2001).]