Ambrosia Software Web Board: something funny to think about - Ambrosia Software Web Board

ME:
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

ALL:
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

ME:
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ALL:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

ME:
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

ALL:
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

ME:
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ALL:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

ME:
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery--
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.

ALL:
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.

ME:
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ALL:
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

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What others can travel so far into so many universes yet remain so deeply rooted in their own?
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LOL!

When did you think up that one?

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This Vid is a bit like my beast; extremely long, and best enjoyed with a mouthful of nuts.
-Ali G.

I didn't, it's from The Pirates of Penzance, by Gilbert and Sullivan

I have some other good ones.

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What others can travel so far into so many universes yet remain so deeply rooted in their own?
[url="http://"http://marathon.invasion.tripod.com"]M:Inv[/url] and the [url="http://"http://pub61.ezboard.com/bmarathoninvasion"]M:Inv Webboards[/url]

please, post them here! they are welcome!

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"At ----- , bullcrap is our most important product"
-graffiti on the lavatory wall of a major consultancy (from The Wizardry Consulted)

I had an interesting idea, new topic.

I happened to see a very good poduction of that particular Gilbert and Sullivan work. The wonderful thing was when the Major-General recited his lines, but got exactly confused and baffled towards the last verse, ending:

"I am the very bottle of an animalised mineral"

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Sundered Angel,
The One and Only
Ares Webboard Moderator, and all-around Nice Guy

SIR JOSEPH.
When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an Attorney's firm.
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,
And I polished up the handle of the big front door.

CHORUS.
He polished up the handle of the big front door.

SIR JOSEPH.
I polished up that handle so carefullee
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.
He polished up that handle so carefullee,
That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navee.

SIR JOSEPH.
As office boy I made such a mark
That they gave me the post of a junior clerk.
I served the writs with a smile so bland,
And I copied all the letters in a big round hand.

CHORUS.
He copied all the letters in a big round hand.

SIR JOSEPH.
I copied all the letters in a hand so free,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.
He copied all the letters in a hand so free,
That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

SIR JOSEPH.
In serving writs I made such a name
That an articled clerk I soon became;
I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit
For the pass examination at the Institute.

CHORUS.
For the pass examination at the Institute.

SIR JOSEPH.
That pass examination did so well for me,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.
That pass examination did so well for he,
That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

SIR JOSEPH.
Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip
That they took me into the partnership.
And that junior partnership, I ween,
Was the only ship that I ever had seen.

CHORUS.
Was the only ship that he ever had seen.

SIR JOSEPH.
But that kind of ship so suited me,
That now I am the ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.
But that kind of ship so suited he,
That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navee!

SIR JOSEPH.
I grew so rich that I was sent
By a pocket borough into Parliament.
I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.

CHORUS.
He never thought of thinking for himself at all.

SIR JOSEPH.
I thought so little, they rewarded me
By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.
He thought so little, they rewarded he
By making him the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

SIR JOSEPH.
Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool,
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.

CHORUS.
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.

SIR JOSEPH.
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee!

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What others can travel so far into so many universes yet remain so deeply rooted in their own?
[url="http://"http://marathon.invasion.tripod.com"]M:Inv[/url] and the [url="http://"http://pub61.ezboard.com/bmarathoninvasion"]M:Inv Webboards[/url]