Ambrosia Software Web Board: Happy Birthday Sundered Angel. - Ambrosia Software Web Board

Happy Birthday.

Today's not her actual birthday.

SA...is...a...WHAT?

Moderator?

As our fearless leader goes careening closer to the grave with each passing day, isn't it about time that we think about getting him a life insurance policy? I mean, should he be assassinated we should have something set up so we can put little Songemot through college (and by "little" I mean "everyone but", and by "through college" I mean "in the midst of lots of lovely ladies and booze").

In any event, Happy B-Day SA!

-Pufer

Pufer, on Feb 20 2009, 12:49 AM, said:

I agree with everything this man is saying.

Pufer, on Feb 20 2009, 05:49 AM, said:

OK, so long as you don't write the insurance policy. I have a suspicion that you'd manage to word it such that it forms a legally binding obligation upon several nation states to cede sovereignty to a certain bearded law student upon very easily met conditions.

But thanks, everyone.

Happy Birthday good sir!

Happy slightly late birthday.

Someone set you up the cake! You have no chance to be unhappy, make your wish!

He ages?

Just because he's accrued another year since his assembly doesn't mean he ages.

-Pufer

Happy Birthday SA!

I apologise most sincerely for missing your birthday, oh illustrious leader! You may have my first born as payment.

For a sacrifice right?


Or is human pie on the menu?

The first born will be given over for SA to use as he sees fit. I shall not place any suggestions or limits

I can't wait to hear how you explain it to your other half...


"You see, we need to do this, honey, because there's a nice man over seas I made a promise to..."

This post has been edited by undead_shadow: 22 April 2009 - 10:28 AM

"Well, at least little Jimmy won't make messes on the veranda anymore!"

How much would a 5 year old cost to ship anyway?

Your newly borns come out at 5 years old?

So much for "I was born at a very early age."

You know, one day I'm going to have to figure out a use for all these firstborn children people keep sending me. They're really beginning to clutter things up.

Sorted.

Do you have any idea how much power is generated from the sacrifice of innocent human life? Instead of having a clutter of firstborns, I'd have a clutter of irredeemably evil mystic energy. That's even messier than a bunch of mewling, puking infants.

Human pie, on the other hand, might indeed work. Let me dig out my copy of To Serve Man.

I wouldn't be opposed to eating human, just to say that I've done so. However, I'd have to have assuaged myself as to three things: the legality of doing it in whatever state I was in (I'd mostly be worried about facial illegality, looking first to cannibalism statutes (which appear to be rather rare based on a quick search), and, then, to the specifics of any abuse of corpse statutes), the legality of how the human flesh was attained, and the health of the person whose flesh it was.

I'm thinking someone with body integrity identity disorder deciding to chop off a perfectly healthy limb, giving it to someone else consensually, that person butchering and preparing it, and me tucking in (I'm thinking fully-loaded baked potato on the side - topped with human cheese if I can come up with a willing, recently-pregnant female to provide me with some milk).

Main legal problem I'd be running into, I think, on such a deal would be conspiracy to commit mayhem. Mayhem doesn't really exist anyplace in America, but if there's anything that would make courts drum up the old British common law crime to sustain an arrest, it would be some bearded ###### eating somebody (with baked potato!). I think my best argument against this would be the fact that, if convicted, I'd be put to death, and that seems a bit excessive.

Conspiracy to commit aggravated battery would probably work, but the "victim" here would be part of the conspiracy, and that seems a bit like charging a guy with attempted murder for a failed suicide attempt (not to mention something that would really start to confuse a jury). Further, I have nothing at all in my mind as to the removal of the limb - literally no thoughts about it whatsoever - my intent (if any) is only to the eating of supper.

Conspiracy to corrupt public morals is another potential crime that I'd probably run into, but that's a bit of a facially bullcrap charge.

To be clear, I am speaking in purely hypothetical terms, and have no intent to do anything or enter into any agreement to do anything. The statements contained above consist purely of hypothetical statements and are not to be construed as offers, invitations, allusions, advice, suggestions, or anything but the pure dissemination of thoughts in a forum taken to have been affirmatively opened to open public dissemination of information.

-Pufer